Search Results: work out plans

I'm most definitely delulu but hopefully it's the solulu.

Sorry if its long

So there's a guy we went to high school together we were not really friends we just used to bump into each other in clubs etc. We were only saying hi but thats it. Then i finished school and we didn't see or talk to each other for a year but i sent him a happy birthday text bc we always wish each other hbd every year, both of us always say thanks but thats it. Except this year he asked a bunch of questions about me and how i like uni. Turns out he will go to the same college as me and his apartment is going to be a 5 min walk from mine. He started texting every day, asking lots of questions sending voice messages, pics about himself. Once he had to come here to my city bc of college papers and stuff and both me and him had busy schedules for that day. He wanted to meet me that day in town but during the day we just did'nt have free time for the same hour. He chose to wake up at 6 am sat on a bus for 20mins to come see me before i go to work. He was kinda awkward/nervous around me. He used to hug me back in hs in a friendly way this time he didn't do it. I wondered why. It was like a usual thing between us. After us meeting he started sending messages like im at a club but im not looking for any girl bc i have u then saying jk jk. Or putting it this way like: u know ur mine now😘🥰🥰🤗🤭😌😡😠🤗 with lots of cringey emojis like its supposed to be a joke. But he already made another plan to see me again..

So is he onto something?

I have an Anxious Preocuppied Attachment style and he is a fearful avoidant, both 28. We had been together for 3 years before he broke up with me almost a month ago while celebrating our anniversary / my birthday. The month prior, he had moved to a new city due to being transferred at his job, so new workplace as well. His company gave him 2 weeks to move his whole life over there and he had to do the move while still going to work so he was highly stressed. The city is about 1.5hrs away by train from where I am (and he also was) and I have plans to go there next year for work, so we were thinking of going there together. So a long distance relationship would have been temporary and we would have seen each other once a month in person. He reassured me that everything would be okay and that we would absolutely make it work.

When he came back to our city a week after moving/starting his new job (for the celebration), he looked very stressed. His work week was hectic and he’d get home at around 9pm every day and go straight to sleep (about one message a day). At the hotel, where we were celebrated, he seemed to be in a terrible mood so I asked him what was wrong a bunch of times and also mentioned our future (moving in together eventually, which we’ve talked about before) and he said he didn’t know and couldn’t give me the answer that I wanted. He then came up with a bunch of excuses about needing to focus on himself and his career and not having the bandwidth to be in a relationship anymore. That he couldn’t cherish me. There was no changing his mind. I left the hotel and went back home.

The next day I called to make up and talk again but he was firm in his decision so we each apologized and thanked each other and that was it. He deleted me from IG and hasn’t reached out since. I have been in NC. I’m extremely hurt and am wondering if this is temporary or permanent? He broke up with me once before but came back after 20 mins apologizing. What should I do?