Search Results: dating sister''s friend

I'm hurting right now and very upset. My suspicious were confirmed just 2 days ago when my husband left his FB messenger open. It was messages between him and my SIL (sister-in-law). He admitted to her that he always loved his ex girlfriend Olivia from his much younger years. They met as 9 year-olds playmates, then dated for a short time in their Sophomore year of HS, she broke up the next year and met someone else.

The woman is married but still has him on his FB contact list as friends. He admitted to my SIL that he still loves her more than me. He loves me but I'm not really his first option. He would've wanted to have kids with her. He also said it was true what he once told me while drunk when we were just dating. Then this was the hurting part for me, the SIL asked if he would leave me if Olivia were to get divorced now and she reciprocated his feelings and he reply was a ''Yes, unfortunately I would leave (my name) but that'll never happen. I have to accept being in Olivia's forever friendzone''.

Flashback to the time we were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

We were drinking and while making love, he called me by her name. He literally said ''Oh Olivia, I love you... yeah''. Then tried to fix it right away when I got upset immediately. He called it a stupid drunken mistake and how we would never get drunk like that ever again and even reconfirmed me a bunch of times that he got over her already. I stupidly believed him.

Is this fair? We have a 7 year-old son and he's still obsessing over her? He never got over her and just got with me as second best.

They won't ever see it till its way to late and they are hurt deeply again.

My sister has terrible luck with dating yet when she finds someone terrible and every one agrees and says they are awful.

She just clings harder to them.

Tried this every way I can to help but always just have to let her make her own mistakes!

Copied from my other account because I'm stupid and chose the wrong gender there:

Since the moment I've met him, he's had my undivided attention. If we weren't coworkers, I would have immediately asked him out.

At work, we constantly pick on and roast each other and laugh about inside jokes. A coworker noted our relationship as being obnoxiously sibling-like, but my boss was sure we'd end up dating.

Just recently though, I had to move away for work. At my going-away party, I became certain he treats me differently from others. We were all drinking so things are fuzzy, but I know he was glued to my side the entire night. And it was easy to catch eye-contact with him because he was looking at me a lot. At one point we had a conversation which became suggestive, and I was sure it was going somewhere, but then he said "i like ya, i love ya, but it would be weird". I dropped it because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. After that it was back to picking on each other and having a good night with friends. Then, when we were the last two at the bar, he picked me up, carried me to the roadside, hugged me, said he'd miss me, and ran to his taxi. I was left confused on the sidewalk before heading home.

Then the night before I left, after saying goodbye to everyone, he drove me to my hotel. We hugged and said we'd miss each other, and just before I walked into the hotel lobby, he called out again to say he'd miss me. He sounded a little emotional.

I've been a wreck since then. Not knowing how he feels is messing with me. I can't figure out if we're just friends and he sees me as a sister, or if he feels the way I do. All I know is that I'm significant to him somehow.

Since I'm now a 4 hour plane trip away, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to confess. I'd get closure and, if he was open, I'd do long-distance in a heartbeat. But if he doesn't reciprocate, I've done something selfish and upset him with the burden of my feelings.

Maybe one of you can see this clearer.