Am I wrong for feeling this way about my boyfriends family? (Please give me tips!)?

[Anonymous]

Okay. So, my boyfriend and I have only been dating for three weeks. I met him through my brother, because they are really good friends. They both served in the military together. My boyfriend and I have been moving pretty fast. After our first date, he asked me to move in with him. I have been living with him every since. I have been single and celibate, and was not necessarily looking for a relationship. However, I truly believe he is the one. I just moved to the south, from a big city. My boyfriend and I are complete opposites. We also have quite an age gap. I am 23, and he is 37. He however is not the first older man I’ve dated. I typically only date older men, because I have an old soul. I am very mature for my age. This is also both of our first interracial relationship. I am a black women from a big city. He is a country redneck white man from the south. Anywho, just to provide a little context… My boyfriend wanted me to meet his family. He told me they would be staying with us for Thanksgiving holiday. I thought they were coming next weekend. However, they arrived yesterday, and will be staying with us an entire week. I met both his parents. His two sons. As well as his sister, her husband, and their son. Plus, they brought all their dogs. A total of four dogs! They ALL, will be staying with us for an entire week. I also already have my own dog. I am an introvert, and situations like this for me are a nightmare. I expressed my feelings and concerns to my boyfriend multiple times before they arrived. He told me I have nothing to worry about. I feel honored that he feels comfortable letting me meet his family so soon. Especially his children, however I am overwhelmed. I am the first women he’s letting meet his children since his divorce 6 years ago. His family has no idea that my boyfriend already has plans to marry me, and we’ve already begun planning our future together. As an introvert, these are too many energies for me to be around.

[WhitneySnow]

You need to tell your boyfriend to slow down. But not in a confrontational way. Sit him down and sweetly explain to him that you are an introvert and you can’t handle this much energy all at once.

[Asker]

It’s only day 2, and I feel completely drained. We all went to the beach today, then out for lunch. I started to feel sick at lunch. When we got back home, I took a nap with my boyfriend. I then woke him up, and told him to go spend time with his family. I told him I still did not feel well, and still needed to rest. I however did not want them to feel a way about him being in the room with me. I’ve been in the room all day now, and I feel bad. I don’t want them to think I’m being stuck up, stand offish, or a bitch. I just can’t help that I am not a naturally bubbly outgoing person. It takes me time to open up to new people, and I struggle with social anxiety sometimes. My boyfriend returns to work this following week. I am dreading being at home with them alone. I’m sorry, but I absolutely can not wait for them to leave. I really look forward to bonding with his sons in the near future. However, I’m afraid I won’t be able to with all of them here. I did get to bond with his youngest son a bit earlier today. Which truly melted my heart. They are being nice, but I also can’t tell if it’s fake or not yet. My boyfriend and I get a lot of stares when we are out in public. I’m not full of myself, but I’m highly aware I’m an attractive woman. I’ve been told my entire life, and strangers always gravitate to me. My boyfriend is hot to me, but by others he’s perceived as just a nerdy older white men. I know people probably think he is my sugar daddy when we are out. Until they see us interact with one another, and just how genuine our love truly is. I am also not trying to be selfish, but I’m really sad that I don’t get to spend the holiday with my loved ones. Thanksgiving is a really big deal in my culture. I also love to cook, and have hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the last three years. I’ve cooked the holiday dinners for my family entirely on my own! This is the first year I am not. He told me his mom is a really good cook, but from what I’ve seen. I beg to differ…

[Asker]

Thank you for answering my question! I’m new to this app, so please bare with me. I could not figure out how to add the rest of the question lol.

[Asker]

I have explained to him, and he just keeps saying k have nothing to worry about it. He doesn’t get it, if the roles were reversed k think he would understand better.

[WhitneySnow]

That’s ok. Just be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him what you just told me.

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not sure what to do here. Maybe ask him how he’d feel if the roles were reversed.

[Avicenna]

Your concerns are totally valid. He's moving too fast and too aggressively.

[Asker]

It’s only day 2, and I feel completely drained. We all went to the beach today, then out for lunch. I started to feel sick at lunch. When we got back home, I took a nap with my boyfriend. I then woke him up, and told him to go spend time with his family. I told him I still did not feel well, and still needed to rest. I however did not want them to feel a way about him being in the room with me. I’ve been in the room all day now, and I feel bad. I don’t want them to think I’m being stuck up, stand offish, or a bitch. I just can’t help that I am not a naturally bubbly outgoing person. It takes me time to open up to new people, and I struggle with social anxiety sometimes. My boyfriend returns to work this following week. I am dreading being at home with them alone. I’m sorry, but I absolutely can not wait for them to leave. I really look forward to bonding with his sons in the near future. However, I’m afraid I won’t be able to with all of them here. I did get to bond with his youngest son a bit earlier today. Which truly melted my heart. They are being nice, but I also can’t tell if it’s fake or not yet. My boyfriend and I get a lot of stares when we are out in public. I’m not full of myself, but I’m highly aware I’m an attractive woman. I’ve been told my entire life, and strangers always gravitate to me. My boyfriend is hot to me, but by others he’s perceived as just a nerdy older white men. I know people probably think he is my sugar daddy when we are out. Until they see us interact with one another, and just how genuine our love truly is. I am also not trying to be selfish, but I’m really sad that I don’t get to spend the holiday with my loved ones. Thanksgiving is a really big deal in my culture. I also love to cook, and have hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the last three years. I’ve cooked the holiday dinners for my family entirely on my own! This is the first year I am not. He told me his mom is a really good cook, but from what I’ve seen. I beg to differ…

[Asker]

Thank you for answering my question! I’m new to this app, so please bare with me. I could not figure out how to add the rest of the question lol.

[Asker]

My mother and granny are scratch cookers, as am I. So, I am very picky when it comes to eating others food. I am also pescatarian, so I don’t eat the norms that the average person does. I’m kind of upset, that I’m not getting to eat the traditional foods from my culture this holiday. What tips would you give me, for surviving the rest of the week?

[Avicenna]

Just remember it will be over eventually! This is a chance to get to know them and for them to get to know you. Hang in there! In the future, your boyfriend should take your needs into consideration and respect them.

[Asker]

Thank you, you are right. I ended up speaking to his mother and sister before the end of the night. I explained to them I am an introvert, and a little more on the shy side. I also told them I was feeling a bit sick yesterday. They were very nice and understanding about it. I’m going to try to be more social and open today.

[Avicenna]

That's good. Good communication like that is usually very productive.

[Nikki1989]

This is never going to work. Move on with someone more compatible.

[Asker]

We are actually very compatible. I finally see why they say opposites attract. He already ordered my engagement ring, and let me personally customize it. ;)

[Joker_]

you're not wrong for feeling this way

[In_Trance]

Take your time