What is the best way to tell your Sister/friend that the person they are dating is just a trash person 🗑️?

[RoseySarah]

Hurry and break up!

They won't ever see it till its way to late and they are hurt deeply again.

My sister has terrible luck with dating yet when she finds someone terrible and every one agrees and says they are awful.

She just clings harder to them.

Tried this every way I can to help but always just have to let her make her own mistakes!

Tell them caringly

Give her a good shake and tell her how she should be treated

Soft subtle messages

Just let her make mistakes 😔

Maybe someone new has to help her

She won't know till to late it's how trash guys work and hide behavoir

[Flatmanlewis]

You tell her straight up but also, accept, that the common denominator in her picking bad relationships is…her.


She may have some serious issues she isn’t working through and rather than focusing on the symptom (picking bad men) maybe help her focus on the disease, some deep rooted flaw in her worldview that is leading her to pick toxic men. Do a girls weekend away, and get her into some counseling.


Also, sister & friend is two different dynamics. Friends come & go. Family is family. If it’s a friend you should accept that you may lose that friendship someday and you may not be able to save her. If it’s a sister, surround her with family and play the long game. She may need to fall apart before she can be rebuilt.

[RoseySarah]

Some friends are like family and true thanks for sharing that difference

[Saiesh30]

One thing that I have learnt well in life and tried and tested multiple times is that you cannot, you just cannot put sense into someone who's not a listener. Such people just continue to do what they wanna do and experience loss whether emotional or financial or whatever.
They just don't have the capacity to accept that the other person could be right as well. So, all you can do is politely remind her and not expect anything out of it.

[RoseySarah]

Sarcasm worked last time telling her what a great guy who blames her for being a minute late when he has never been on time...

[Saiesh30]

Try it this time too then. Maybe sarcasm is her way of understanding haha

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Compare them to her exes she already knows are shitty. Or my exes she knows were shitty & I was in denial about for a while. Makes it harder to say "it's different this time" when u point out all the ways its actually literally the same. & offer support for if she does see & break it off, that's a lot harder to do if u don't know u got people who will be there for u. That's why abusers #1 tactic is isolate the person.

[RoseySarah]

Thanks that might help she knows she has had a ton of bad guys some more then others!
But she does always say it's different as our eyes roll.

But even when we compare she won't listen

I know it has to come from inside her

[Lisia]

That's a pretty hard situation, usually they'll see you as the bad person. I don't know, I'd let her go through it so she learns her lesson one day.. or say in a very caring and careful way that you think the person she's dating isn't good for her but you'll respect her decision anyway.

[RoseySarah]

Thanks 😊 also often these awful guys isolate them and fill her head with lies which makes it harder.

[Lisia]

That's true, I know how she feels

[AviatorTom]

"Hey Sis, you do know that guy you're dating is an a*hole, right?"

Sometimes, it's good to be blunt.

[Mark987]

These conversations are really hard to have. I have lost friends by me telling them that their significant other was cheating on them. " Love is blind" as they say. The only thing you can do is tell them nicely, and don't get aggressive or upset. In the end it's their choice...

[RoseySarah]

Ignorance is bliss
Yeah lost 2 friends just for them to 4 years latter say I was right

[Mark987]

Exactly... " Ignorance is bliss ". My best friend was a junkie and was married with 4 kids... and me being stupid.. I never really said anything until she left him. I apologized to her.. but it's always better to say what you feel.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Give her a long hug and say Sis I love you, please be careful with the guys that you meet, because as a Sister I love you and don't want to see anything happen to you. I would be loss without you !!!

[RoseySarah]

That just encouraged her last time to almost marry the creep!
He flat out told her he will sleep with her daughter! If she stops giving him sex!

Huge drama after!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yeah, wow !!!

[lilBigPotato]

There's no point trying to change someone's mind who's blind from love. Will only cause arguments. You can try to subtly raise some concerns but don't be too pushy about it

[RoseySarah]

Tried that she thought I was undermining cause she told her controlling guy which caused our friendship to end.

6 years latter and 3 kids she met me and told me she wish she listened.

Now with another loser

[rachel776]

i think my sister has been dating the same guy since she was 4 so there's no changing her 🤷‍♀️

[RoseySarah]

So awful guy or just boring?

[Carina0]

I would try to make them think about their partner's bad qualities with subtle messages instead of telling them their bad qualities directly. Love can be blind and they may not like what you're gonna say so you make them think about it and they can figure out themselves

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

Have a new acquaintance back you up on your claims. I think that's a really good choice.

[RoseySarah]

Thanks 👍
Might try it next time she is already talking about a new guy

[PhillDerup]

In all reality who are you to judge? If they are happy your opinion shouldn’t matter because at the end of the day you’re not dating them they are. It’s unfortunate that people feel the need to inject themselves into people’s relationships. The only times you have any right to interfere in anyone’s love life is if they’re being abused, assaulted, or the other person is cheating. If you or your social circle believes a friend is in an abusive or destructive relationship it may be more effective to talk to them collectively rather than individually because not only is it more effective but they will more than likely appreciate the sincerity of the group and accept the validity of your concerns rather than getting offended. Intervention is far more effective than confrontation in some cases. It’s never alright to attempt to change someone’s perspective of someone because you just don’t like them, social status, ethnicity, personal opinion, grudges, or gossip.

[HelpfulWoman]

i tell them it plainly but with love. then its up to them to sort out what they're doing. i'll respect either way

[Anonymous]

Some women learn quick, some women learn slowly, some women... never learn. That's just reality. Kids have to touch a hot stove to learn that's and not to do it again. She might be someone who just has to continue to get burned.

[Nik1hil]

"Who knew, you would love eating out of a dustbin!"

[DannyUk2017]

I learned to let them "bang their own head, because when i interfered "i was the one to blame", so i said to myself"u know what? Fuck it", let them find out on their own terms. 🤷‍♂️

[AngryCarl2]

Let her make her own mistakes. That's what she's going to do anyway. That doesn't mean you can't give her factual information like if you saw him stealing or PDA with other girls.

[RoseySarah]

So making her own mistakes when she is 37 and done the same thing 12 times? Lmao
Yeah her bfs always flirt with me and others usually I record it and she says they are different somehow?

[AngryCarl2]

Yes some people are so comfortable with the old ways, they don't want to learn anything different. Something about frogs and boiling water.

[FenixG45]

Try to tell her delicately, but in truth she will have to find out for herself.

[sheikalana]

I’d rather not say anything. It’s their relationship and none of my business.

[RoseySarah]

When she brings him over and he just tells her to get naked and bang in your room cause he wants to... You would!

[HouseMoat]

She likely thought he was a "good guy" in the beginning, isn't that how it always is, girls?

[RoseySarah]

Not a good guy but some how he is different yet acts the same as her bad ones.

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

She is an adult that can make her own decisions.

[RoseySarah]

Lmao found the kinda guy who is like that leading her off to be alone and manipulated

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Not every guy is out to manipulate women, just as not every girl can be so easily manipulated - do you not have faith in your sister/friend's decision making?

[Maddy2002_]

I tell her we have that friendship.

[RoseySarah]

Thanks but I tried that tone and she ended that friendship. The trash was worth no friend ship 3 kids and the abuse

[Maddy2002_]

But you told her then wash your hands not to deal with her.

[RoseySarah]

Which is why she is an ex friend

[Lyndsielee666]

I tell her straight up just like she does with me

[Anonymous]

Colty trash man!

[love_conquers_lust]

I like her shades.

[Unycorn]

Not my Business - Not m decision.

[strateguy632]

..6th

[SolitarySolace]

You have to let them figure it out on their own

[RoseySarah]

Yeah like 8 times on Thier own

[YAsQuen]

maybe ur wrong?

[RoseySarah]

Look at the other comments yeah not wrong

[YAsQuen]

maybe ur wrong about thinking ur correct?

[Worst]

Have sex with them

[RoseySarah]

Bonk horny jail for you