How do you deal with parents who try to force you to have a relationship with your sibling that you are not fond of?

[jongreat46]

So me and my oldest brother have not always seen eye to eye when I was growing up, he always loved to criticize any little thing I did and decision I made and his wife my viper in law I mean sister in law is the same way. He makes much more money than I do and I am happy with it but apprently he is very arrogant about it and he loves to make fun of my dad for his faith in God and my dad still defends him for not believing and he even criticizes me more than my older brother. Well now, he has cancer in both kidneys and will get them removed and my dad is trying to guilt trip me into having a relationship with him because he is sick and close to dying. My dad tells me "He's your brother" yet this same brother made fun of my weight, looks, and made me the butt of his jokes and gave me really bad self esteem. Now I don't hate my brother and I don't wish him dead, but I will not pretend like we are the best of friends just because you are sick. The other thing that makes my stomach turn is now he is asking us to pray for him and he is apparently talking to God about it. I even confronted him and said "oh now you believe in God when things are rough but you mocked us in our faith when life was good for you." Of course I got in trouble with my dad for saying it but I am not sorry, it needed to be said and no I will not drop everything and take care of him and act like we were the best friends sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

You sound young and very resentful. That may be justified but now is a time to be mature and consider how you would like to remember this period. He could be dead in a short time. How would future you want you now to behave.
You're not best friends and you don't need to suddenly behave as such. You don't suddenly need to bond with God.
But I suggest you need to act responsibly, honourably, and practically. Old school stuff that you can look back on and say I did my duty regardless of whether they appreciated it or not.
It's a very stressful and frightening time for anyone.
They do not define who and what you are. You must find this for yourself and act accordingly.
And when this is over, one way or another, decide who you want in your life. You do get to choose.

[BarryLiverstone]

Your dad is doing this out of love. He knows if your brother dies soon then you will feel guilty. Sure siblings can be mean growing up. But you can choose to still pray and support your family now. Remember people change and if your brother lives (he should be ok) then you can create a better relationship with him. I would suggest scheduling a vacation just you and him next year and that will allow you to reconnect and have quality time with him

[fonduegirl]

It worked out great for my mom.

I love my brother. Good thing I was forced to.

[Anonymous]

It would cause family dysfunctionals