Search Results: changing a guy''s habits

This guy and I have been doing this dance for years now, trying to figure out if we should date. Distance was the problem for a long while, but now we're close by again and he told me he wants to give us a shot, but he wants to be sure of what he wants first.

He's never been in a relationship, so I know he's sort of clumsy and often doesn't know what to do (he said it himself when we kissed - it was his first - the last time we met up). He's also 4 years younger than me (I understand I need to be patient with him). Recently he's been distant, although the last time we spoke he said his feelings hadn't changed and promised me he'd let me know the instant he changed his mind about wanting to give us a shot.

He's been distant in the past (we suck at texting) and I've blatantly asked him if we could try harder to communicate. He's said yes on two separate occasions and he's followed through-for a few days/weeks each time, before reverting to distant texting habits again.

The fact that he's distant is stressing me, and I don't feel it's right to ask him to put effort in again. I can't tell if he's doing it on purpose or if it's just the way he is at this point.

I only want him. I've tried to date other people when it seemed hopeless in between long months of no contact with him, but it always felt unfair to them because he's my number one interest. Even if I do try to date someone else right now, the instant he says he wants me I'll run to him.

I don't know what to do. Time will probably be the answer, but quite frankly I'm torn between giving him the benefit of the doubt and giving in to the hurt, stress, and confusion I feel. I won't take it out on him cause that would be unfair (or maybe I'm making up excuses for him now, idk) but I'm tempted just to stop putting effort in.

I've been very clear with him and he knows I want to be with him. Should I just not respond to him for a while and see if I matter enough for him to call?