Search Results: playing around

I feel a bit like I’ve been scammed because my old guitar teacher just confused me a bit and wasn’t very clear how he was explaining stuff, then would get a bit annoyed if I took a guitar lesson off someone else, he’d say “you’ll just confuse yourself if you take lessons or advice off other people.. they don’t know the angle we’re coming from”. But then he’d say “there’s no secret to playing guitar, it’s just hard work and focus” but then he’d say “I’ll let you in on a secret that professional guitarists use…” so it seems like he contradicts himself and doesn’t explain stuff that well maybe.

It’s really weird because all his other students say how great he is and how he’s really helping them, but I don’t get that. He’s had some very successful guitarists as students and they all say he’s helped them… but what he says to me is all wishy washy nonsense or at least he doesn’t explain things very well. Then my college lecturer on my music class explains stuff and it all makes sense to me. I dunno, I feel a bit taken advantage of by that guitar teacher, like his quality of teaching was purposely bad so I’d get more lessons. I also feel a lot of anxiety when I pick up guitar now so it seems like getting lessons with him has lowered my self esteem somehow. I feel a bit like I’m going crazy but can’t pinpoint why.
and I don’t get why he chose ME to do this to? I’ve been told I’m fairly intelligent and learn things easily so maybe he feels threatened by that and wants to slow my progress down so I get more lessons? I also felt a lot of anxiety around him like he’s judging me harshly. He’d also say “I think you know more than you think you do” and he’d keep going over the same topics again… and claiming that I don’t fully understand basic stuff… I dunno 🤷🏼‍♀️

I tend to find a lot of people irritating therefore avoid them. I think people can tell when I don’t want them around me.. I hate it when strangers come into my personal space, touch me or if I can smell their bad breath or hygiene issues. I think I have more of an issue with this than most people do.
I also don’t see much point in talking to someone unless I can get something out of them or I really enjoy their company like I find them interesting etc. Whenever I’ve had friends, I’ve noticed I drink too much at the pub and completely dominate the conversations, I like the attention all on me.
I always feel sort of numb, bored or maybe depressed. but I also ruminate and stress very easily, leading me to feel like I have to control situations or avoid them. If I have to work in group activities at university, I zone out and can’t concentrate because I find it overwhelming and don’t see the point of contributing unless I’m the leader however I’d still much rather sit back and do nothing or just do what I’m told to do etc. I used to get very good grades at school without much effort… now I’m struggling and scraping by with passes at uni because of poor time management and having random special interests distracting me.

I also feel the need to be somehow better than others.. this is why I like being a musician… a lot of the people on my uni course can’t play their instruments that well and I feel superior to them because of that.. however I feel upset if they do better than me in assessments. I also get massive anxiety if I feel like I won’t perform well, but if I know my parts well I get a bit egotistical … even as a kid I loved the attention from performing and playing instruments. I also love getting positive attention from lecturers and even seduced one and had sex with them to sort of “test” if I could win him over, but at the same time I was also very infatuated with him for no logical reason at all. I think I wanted to see how far he would go with me.

okay, here's some background knowledge. he's 3 years older then me,4 grades higher, and my sister is 2 years older then me and 1 year younger and 2 grades behind from him. lets call him pineapple. so pineapple is much closer to my sister then me. for example, he follows her insta and always gives her second opinions on her photos, and she follows him back and they go through eachothers phones sometimes. but i also noticed her usually doesn't look at my sister a lot, but mostly at me. pineapple also pulled up a picture of himself flexing in the mirror, and me being curious i said 'why are you looking at muscly men bro' and then he said 'thats me-?' and i just looked embarrassingly away. also on my sisters side she always act so.. different around pineapple like bubbly- and with this snob tone. but! pineapple hates when anyone is left alone like he's protective about everyone-. buttt when we went skiing and i was left alone he said' bro why'd (brothers name) leave you he wasn't supposed to' and then i said 'he told me i was too slow' and then pineapple ended up waiting for someones to watch me (this because i have a very bad sense of direction) and i ended up getting lost and getting level 2 frostbite and early stages of hypothermia, and once i told our group that pineapple looked almost surprised and worried. now on new years pineapples buddy, grape, fell asleep on my hand. and pineapple kept like side-eyeing us a bit, and i was confused since i was out of it. also also! we were going to play ghosts in the grave yard but my brother didn't want to team up with me since it was uneven so i ended up going to my room, changing out of my dress and watching squid game, but little did i know they ended going inside and not playing. and im still wondering why! but the more i think about it he likes my sister more then me. is this because of my age gap or is since i shy away a lot? grape also liked my sister whom i look like?

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I also have a 9yo son from my previous relationship and my husband has adopted him. His family has always been toxic but it's always been in a "I feed off drama" way and nothing more. However, they really upped it last year. Basically my sister in laws husband hit my 9yo son in the back of the head out of anger (my son was playing tag with his cousin and ran inside and the door slammed behind him). It was a hard hit. Cops were called and the police did nothing because there was no witnesses outside of me and they called it a "he said she said" thing and stated that we needed to work through our own family conflict. They claimed my son wasn't a reliable witness because he wouldn't speak to them (he's incredibly shy, has ASD and was just assaulted by a grown ass man so he was already scared - he just kept hiding behind me saying "mum can you just tell them" and they took this as me making shit up and leading my son to say something that wasn't true).

When my sister in law found out what happened she was initially on our side and scolded her husband. But he threatened to divorce her, so she did a 180° and started claiming her husband did nothing wrong and that he only hit my son because my kid has been repeatedly told not to slam doors and didn't listen so her husband had an "impulse reaction" and claimed "no harm, no foul" because my son was fine. So, I cut all contact and when our daughter was born we refused to let her anywhere near her despite her being extremely excited for the baby and having made all these customized items for her. She was destroyed over it but oh well. Don't defend a child abuser.

Well, here it is a year later and my mother in law brought it up randomly and stated "I understand completely why he hit your son." So I told her to leave and she wasn't welcome back here around my children. Now my husband is upset because he wants his mother around.