Am I wrong for not allowing my in laws access to my child?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 1 year old daughter together. I also have a 9yo son from my previous relationship and my husband has adopted him. His family has always been toxic but it's always been in a "I feed off drama" way and nothing more. However, they really upped it last year. Basically my sister in laws husband hit my 9yo son in the back of the head out of anger (my son was playing tag with his cousin and ran inside and the door slammed behind him). It was a hard hit. Cops were called and the police did nothing because there was no witnesses outside of me and they called it a "he said she said" thing and stated that we needed to work through our own family conflict. They claimed my son wasn't a reliable witness because he wouldn't speak to them (he's incredibly shy, has ASD and was just assaulted by a grown ass man so he was already scared - he just kept hiding behind me saying "mum can you just tell them" and they took this as me making shit up and leading my son to say something that wasn't true).

When my sister in law found out what happened she was initially on our side and scolded her husband. But he threatened to divorce her, so she did a 180° and started claiming her husband did nothing wrong and that he only hit my son because my kid has been repeatedly told not to slam doors and didn't listen so her husband had an "impulse reaction" and claimed "no harm, no foul" because my son was fine. So, I cut all contact and when our daughter was born we refused to let her anywhere near her despite her being extremely excited for the baby and having made all these customized items for her. She was destroyed over it but oh well. Don't defend a child abuser.

Well, here it is a year later and my mother in law brought it up randomly and stated "I understand completely why he hit your son." So I told her to leave and she wasn't welcome back here around my children. Now my husband is upset because he wants his mother around.

Yes, you're wrong.

No, you're not wrong.

[Flower7]

They shouldn’t be around your children.

[Anonymous]

No, that is your right as a parent.

[Garud]

It depends on how strong the blow was, a hard slap on the back of the head that startled the child and made him fall or a simple sharp slap.
Only on this basis can we tell whether you are right or wrong.
But what is the use of thinking now when you have already created distance

[Asker]

The hit was hard enough for my son to face plant head first in to the corner of the door frame and bruise his forehead.

[Garud]

So this is unacceptable, did your husband not threaten them, did he not warn them clearly?
suppose an elder person unintentionally hits a child resulting in hurting the child, then they immediately caress and fondle the child with love, if this also did not happen and the man didn't apologize then you are 100% right

[Lliam]

Your sister-in-law's husband is an abusive, violent SOB. He's the only one I wouldn't let near my child. Don't go to their house, don't let him in yours. Tell your sister-in-law that he is not allowed to come over.

Let them all stew over that.

But I wouldn't bar the rest from ever seeing your kids. They can still visit from time to time. But don't go to their houses because the ass hole might show up. And let them know that. If they don't like it, fuck them.

[Asker]

I was going to allow that honestly. But my SIL pulled the "anyone who has a problem with my husband has a problem with me" card and has stated that if he isn't allowed around the kids than she won't be either. So that was ultimately her choice and I just followed it up with blocking her and all contact with her.

What bothered me about my MIL however was the fact that she defended SILs husband at random. We weren't talking about my SIL or her husband or the event (we never do). So she randomly just stated that she understands why my Sails husband struck my child. My son was at school at the time of her saying this.

[Lliam]

Then I agree with you. Cut them off.

[strateguy632]

Nope