Is it OK to take someone who refuses to acknowledge they have a child to court to prove they are the father?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Thank you everyone for taking the time to leave an answer. After reading all of your responses I have decided to go ahead and contact the legal agency to start the process to do the court ordered paternity test to prove he is the father of my daughter. It sucks this is the path I have to take but I need to do this for my daughter so that she will have something on record about who her biological father is when she is older if I can't be here to see her grow up and answer questions about him

[Ryangsoflord]

OH DAMN! I seriously hope that this man you are thinking about taking to court isn't someone who is a good person, good father and loves his kiddo so much that he considers his kiddo to be his whole world.

I can't stand crooked moms who use their kiddos as leverage on a good man. My ex-wifey tried doing that to me but my kiddo was intelligent and observing. So it actually backed fired on her. My divorce was the most civil I ever heard of. I still did go through what I feel was hell during the marriage and after. Even when she already had a dude.

I love my kiddo with all my heart. After our divorce, the only thing that brought me down into a deep 2.5 year depression was the love for my kiddo. I dated a few women who I felt were not good for my princess. One was even jealous of my princess and competed with my 9 year old daughter for my love and attention. She couldn't understand that the love for a child is different from the love for a SO. It was horrible.

I ended it after 5 months. But it was the most horrible and darkest 5 months of my life. After her, I lost hope that I would ever find a woman who at least loves my daughter half as much as my ex-wifey does. I feel so blessed that the man she is with cares so much for my princess.

I believe he is a good man. He isn't just a stepdad. He is a dad who stepped up. For the love for my daughter, I would even call him family. It was a bit rough at first but now we can be under the same roof and even joke around. We even vacationed together for a few years.

It's hard to believe my baby's stepdad did threatened me with violence a few times. He learned quick that even though I am only 5'3." My heart is as big, strong and hard as someone who stands 7 ft tall. My answers to his threats were, "Go ahead. Do it. You think I'm scared." That was usually followed by a click and then the ex-wifey calling me to apologize. It's so sad that selfish and bitter adults cause kiddos to suffer.

I hope you think this through. If he is a good person. Maybe he has no idea or doesn't know for sure. Do not have your child pay for your selfish and bitter feelings.

[Asker]

I'm sorry for what you went through but please do not think all mothers use their kids against the father. I am not stopping him from being in my daughter's life. I may be many things and I may have had my heart broken, but the last thing I would ever do is use my child against him.

I spent months while I was pregnant begging him to be there, especially at the birth. I spent time after I gave birth begging him but he refuses to have anything to do with his own biological daughter and it fucking sucks. He is the one who is choosing to not be in her life. I am not in any way stopping him. I've kept messages that were sent between us to prove this. He won't even tell his own parents that he has a daughter either. He got angry when he knew there was a possibility his name could go on the birth certificate

He himself knows what it is like to not really have his parents in his life as his own mum and dad were working a lot so they weren't really ever there, yet he has straight up abandoned his own biological child. I don't understand.

[Anonymous]

If it’s theirs you can

[Asker]

He is definitely the father. I was with him on and off for over 7 years and during that time I was only ever sleeping with him

[Opinion Owner]

If he isn’t helping with the support needed to raise his kids then I guess you can but tell him first so he has a chance to do it himself before getting a court order to do it

[Asker]

I contacted him by trying to call him and he has me blocked, so I tried calling on a private number and he ignored the call. I sent an email and he did not respond.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you write in the email that you’re going to pursue a court order if he doesn’t respond?

[Asker]

Yep I did. I advised him that if he didn't sign the paperwork that was being sent by the government agency that was being sent to his address the next step would be to go down the path of going to court and he still ignored the email.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I guess he gets what he deserves by not dealing with you directly instead

[Asker]

If it goes to court it means in a way he will be dealing with me as we both will have to attend court and we will also have to attend the DNA testing centre on the same day as well.

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes that’s what it takes

[Asker]

I got notification today that he didn't sign the paperwork and he has also ignored other people's calls. So it looks like the next step is 100% court. Thank you for your help appreciate it heaps

[provokeesmokee]

It's worth a try, but don't put yourself in a hole chasing justice.

A paternity test is a good idea if you can get one.

[alice55]

I guess it depend on the country in France it wouldn't be possible to do so because are free to not recognize their child.

[starfoxxy64]

That sounds sad for children who many might ask later in their lives asking about their Father.

[Vegasrunner]

@alice55 There's no child support in France?

[alice55]

@starfoxxy64 We also have birth under X which mean the parents identity are forbidden and a children can never know who his parents are like it's classified information.
If the father didn't want them I can't understand why the child would want to know him.

[alice55]

@Vegasrunner There's but it can only happen if the father have recognized his child if he haven't recognized it or signed a paper like what he renounce his father responsability he doesn't have to pay it.

[Vegasrunner]

@alice55 TY for sharing that. I was not aware, thats pretty smart though.

[DaveJord]

So this is my issue with this. First of all, yes. I think it absolutely vital that women make every effort to include the children's father in their children's lives for the shake of the children.

I also think it is very important that men, take responsibility for their children and really be present in their child's life.

But here is the deal, by forcing a man to submit to a paternity test, literally means a woman can bring any man into court, based upon her word alone. So, if woman does do this, and court do allow it... then she better be right or there needs to be some type of consequences, because this guy should be compensated for the wasted time and consequences her actions had on him.

[DaveJord]

Like if she forces the test, and it comes back negative, then she should be made to pay for the test and compensate the man for his time and expenses.

[Asker]

I totally agree anyone who forces someone to do the test knowing he isn't the father there should be consequences. In my case he and I were involved on and off for over 7 years and during that time he was the only one I was sleeping with so I know without a doubt he is the father and the test would come back he is. If you were to also see my daughter and see her biological father, she looks exactly like him and so many people have told me this as well. Including strangers who have come up to me and said she must look like her dad and I always respond you look at her, you see her dad.

He himself also knows he is the father but he just refuses to acknowledge he is and he also refused to sign the paperwork for his name to go on the birth certificate because he doesn't want to acknowledge he has a child and also because he doesn't want anyone knowing including his own parents. I wish he would be in my daughter's life I even begged him to not walk away from her but he didn't care.

[DaveJord]

Well in California, I would recommend that you contact the State Child Support Offices or services, and they should be able to guide you through the process on what's required.

[Reorx]

I think it should be, if the mans falsely acused she pays expenses, just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt

[Asker]

He is definitely the father and he himself knows he is since he was the only one I was sleeping with for over 7 years he just doesn't want to acknowledge he has a child

[Reorx]

Yeah, I agree he has a duty to uphold to his child & if he doesn't should be enforced.

[Asker]

Thank you

[genericname85]

i mean if they are the father, that is a good method.

[Asker]

He is definitely thr father

[DextroShade]

Paternity tests should be mandatory for all births.

[Asker]

I totally agree. However with him the only way to prove he is the father is going to court but I'm so conflicted on if this is the right path or not

[BoopBoopBeep]

What's the downside, I mean if you're sure that's who it is.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep the downside is not knowing if when my daughter gets older if she will be affected more knowing the name of who her biological father is and knowing he wanted nothing to do with her.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well if he's not there he wants nothing to do with her either. He obviously wants nothing to do with her because you're having to take him to court to prove she's his. A whole lot of people have parents that don't want them. That's a first world problem.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep I think the other downside is knowing the fact he doesn't want to acknowledge he has a child, and wondering if doing the court order forcing him to acknowledge he is and knowing he still won't be there for his own child is the right thing or not

[BoopBoopBeep]

He doesn't care. Daddy doesn't love her. It's not the end of the world. He's not going to be father of the year either way but if you don't prove paternity then you can't get child support. This hangup where grown ass adults are crippled 20 years later because daddy didn't love them enough is pathetic. A whole lot of the world grows up without a dad because of shite mortality rates in third world countries, warfare, shite medical care. He's not going to be there, if that cripples her then you raised a weak ass woman... so moving on from that... HE f'ed up too, he needs to be held accountable for his actions. You're not going to do that without proving paternity unless he admits it in court, which, since we're having this conversation he obviously won't be doing.

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

Oh, me no understand big words like "court" or "father"! Me just want to fuck! Me no care about laws or rules, me just want to bang! Me just want to find a girl who's down to get down and dirty with me, no matter what her past or her family situation! Me just want to rip her clothes off, bite her neck, and fuck her like a wild animal! Me no care if she has a child or not, as long as she can keep up with my insatiable appetite for pleasure! So, me say yes, go to court and prove you're the father, but me just want to fuck!1

[BigDog1989]

You just need to have a DNA test done. You could have a DNA test court ordered, but that's a process in of its own

[Staximus]

Put the screws to him and make him take responsibility

[Drumlin2001]

Yes. Are they the only possible father?

[Asker]

He is definitely the father he just refuses to acknowledge he is as he doesn't want anything to do with the baby.

[DarkLegacy]

Yes but on the other hand men should be able to take women to court to prove if they are the father or not.

[Reijen]

Guy should be doing that automatically.

[Asker]

He refuses

[Reijen]

Then yeah, get that court to mandate a paternity test.

[exitseven]

Yes, make him step up and do the right thing.

[Jmmmfi4]

I mean legally yes

[LiamJHayden]

Yes,

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes.