My best friend makes strange comments and gestures about my boyfriend and I don't know if I should say something or not?

[Anonymous]

We have been friends for 20 years and she’s never acted strange or made strange comments towards any man I’ve dated. My boyfriend now, who I very much think is the one, and we’re expecting our first child, she makes some odd comments sometimes. Quite a few years ago when I showed her a picture of him and said “do you think he’s cute” she said not really no. Then when she met him in person she said “wow…he’s a lot cuter in person”. Then she made a comment the one day how she wishes she could have the type of relationship me and him have. Never thought anything of those comments until she started physically acting weird around him. She was over our house and I went downstairs to do laundry and she went to my bedroom where he was and sat on the bed and asked him what he was doing. He was very obviously playing a video game but she kept inching closer to him so he said well I’m gonna go help with laundry and came downstairs and told me. I just shrugged it off and figured she didn’t mean anything by it but he said it made him very uncomfortable. Then at our gender reveal party she cornered him in the kitchen and fixed his chain because the clasp was showing and was touching his neck to which he said I can fix it myself and then walked away. She’s also been very distant with me since we started dating years ago and even more since I’m pregnant. She stayed at the gender reveal party for about an hour then left. I texted her and said thanks for coming and she said “of course. It was nice to meet his parents” it was just a strange response considering she said nothing about the gender of our child. I don't know. We are both just weirded out by this. I also want to add she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and hasn’t been herself since.

[HollyK21]

I can’t tell you what to do, but here’s what I did. I stopped talking to my best friend about my relationship, and anything I mentioned was generic, bare minimum scraps. Like I made it clear with my energy that we weren’t going to gossip about how my relationship was or anything of that nature. Then we grew apart and it’s been 3 years since we last spoke.


The thing is, women can be trifling, even your best friends want a good relationship. So when they see you having it, sometimes it isn’t even about the man himself, they just want to have the experience he is giving to you. Those other things (like if he’s handsome, has a good job, has money, etc) are just bonuses on top of gaining what they perceive is a good guy.


If your friend is like mine and she’s boy-crazy (always seeking or having a guy in her life), then there have most likely been signs of her true nature. For example, has she every tried to steal someone’s man? Despite how cool her and the girl seem to be? Because that’s how my friend was. She never seemed to have limits so I don't know why I thought I’d be exempt. Maybe it’s because we were friends for 15+ years lol but in any case, keep her from around your boyfriend the most you can. I’d also say to reevaluate the value of that friendship, she may not be the best company to keep anymore.

[Flower7]

Stop having her around since you don’t trust her.