Search Results: developing feelings

I don’t think he does based off something that happened today, but I definitely have strong feelings for him.

This is a long story so buckle in.

I’ve been friends with this guy who’s almost 10 years older than me since I was 19. He went to back to college, and that’s how we met. We’ve always just been friends and never crossed any lines with each other and are part of the same group. He graduated 3 years ago and moved back to our hometown (turned out we’re from the same city), but we’ve stayed in touch and I see him almost every time I visit.

Last year we were hanging out and the topic eventually went to dating (not each other just in general). I described my perfect guy and he said something like, “oh like how we do?” And that’s the moment the light bulb clicked in my head. Ever since then I’ve been developing feelings for him. I felt like he wasn’t returning my feelings, so I backed off to try and readjust my emotions.

A couple months ago, he called me out the blue and we’ve been texting/calling/watching shows through zoom together practically every day the last few weeks. My feelings for him are back and are definitely getting stronger. I’m not sure how he feels. It’s like he’s hot and he’s cold, he’s definitely sending mixed signals. He’s asked me what my plans for grad school are, wanted to know if I’d move out of state to go to the same school as him, stays on the phone with me while I share my location while in traffic, etc. In a show we watched recently, they were talking about date ideas and he kept telling me he wanted to take me to those places, so I started to feel like he might feel the same as me. Today I finally had enough of wondering and texted him that I’m wanting his attention more and more, and he deflected it and made a joke.

When we met 8 years ago, I was just a kid and he was pushing 30. I’m worried he still thinks of me as a kid and doesn’t see me as the woman I’ve grown into.

Is he just a good friend? Does he want more? What do I do?

Over the past few months, my colleagues have been ruthlessly teasing me about another colleague (we'll call him John). John and I are both in administrator roles, the colleagues who are teasing us are teachers. If we all go out for drinks, they tell me not to worry about getting drunk because John will drive me home. If I request that someone assist me with something and John volunteers first, I'll tell other colleagues who later volunteer to never mind because John is already on it and they tease me because I don't need them since John (emphasis) responded. They glance at each other and smirk when John and I are together and one even obviously lingered to eavesdrop during our conversation. They also bring him up in conversation a lot and one of them (his closest friend) was watching like a hawk when John and I were speaking in the hallway (though she was too far away to hear our conversation I think). None of the teasing or eavesdropping seems malicious. Most of them are very good friends with John and have worked with him for a few years.

I'm not sure how it all started. I suspect that a couple of the paraprofessionals (who aren't a fan of me or John) started a rumor and it eventually reached the teachers. Either that or the teachers are just trying to play matchmaker. The thing is though, John has been extremely supportive of me in some of the challenges I've faced this year, and in the last month, he's grown on me in a way that's surprised me. I'm seeking employment elsewhere, and wondering if, when I leave, I should ask John on a date. I'm not sure if he feels the same way though. I would say that maybe my colleagues picked up on me developing feelings for John over the last month, but the teasing has been going on for months, and when I first started, my colleagues told me they were intimidated because I was difficult to read (RBF), but once they got to know me, they liked me a lot. Do you think their teasing me is a hint that he has feelings for me too?