You never think it will happen to you but the reality is at some point in your life you will experience heartbreak. Whether it's your girlfriend dumps you, your husband cheats on you, your dog dies or you and your best friend stop talking to each other, it's almost inevitable.
Heart break definitely brings on the five stages of grief.
- Denial: Denial is the conscious refusal to perceive that painful facts exist. You try to make excuses for the situation. You may even dismiss the fact that something wrong happened and you try to pretend that everything will stay the same, but it doesn't.
- Anger: The feelings that anger commonly masks include fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment, betrayal, jealousy, sadness, hurt, and worry. You feel shame for your girlfriend leaving you. Why was the other guy better? You feel guilty that your husband cheated on you. Was your love not enough? Your feel betrayal because the girl who claimed to be your best friend forever was talking about you behind your back. Did she ever really like you? You feel sadness for your dog dying. You did everything you could to save him, but your all was not enough. Did he know how much you loved him? Would you ever be able to love another dog as much as you loved him?
- Bargaining: You try to avoid the bad situation by trying to bargain "If I do this, then it won't happen. It's sometimes hard to accept that there's nothing we can do to change things. Bargaining is when we start to make deals with ourselves, or perhaps with God if you're religious. We want to believe that if we act in particular ways we will feel better. If I change myself maybe she'll take me back. If I have a baby with him maybe he wouldn't cheat. But the ''What if I...'' doesn't change anything.
- Depression: By this time you are beginning to cope with the situation and you accept the things you cannot change. Each person handles depression differently. You may start partying with your friends downing alcohol or shutting the people who care about you out. You may spend a lot of time sleeping because the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can feel it. You spend a lot of time self-reflecting, at a certain point you analyze what you could have done differently that would have prevented this from ever happening. You realize that you cannot trust everyone and everything they said.
- Acceptance: It doesn't mean you're happy, it doesn't mean you forget what happened. But you become grateful. Sometimes in a round about way. You're thankful for the moments you had with your girlfriend. You're thankful for finding out about him cheating before having kids. You're thankful you lost that friend before you told her that big secret. You're thankful your dog is no longer suffering. You're thankful that you've grown and learned how to cope. You may not feel thankful, but that weight is gone. You realize that while that situation sucked you deserve better and will meet the right girlfriend, husband, best friend or dog for you. And maybe you aren't happy at the moment but you're glad you know what to look out for, who to trust, and you is there for you. I hope your heart never gets broken but this is life and it happens.
If you are depressed and feel like you'd be better off dead please reach out to someone. You may not know this but there are people who care even if you think there is no one. You are never alone! Healing takes time but ''The heart would have no rainbows, if the eyes had no tears.'' Remember that pain helps you grow. You end up growing and developing into stronger person due to your past pains. As many as 90% of people who experience a traumatic event also experience at least one form of personal growth in the following months and years. This of course does not excuse what you went through and I hope everyone understands that. Pain makes you more compassionate, more self-aware, more forgiving, more tolerant.
Pain helps you grow and heartbreak can heal you!
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