Search Results: into a male friend

I bumped into a male colleague on a night out. We’ve known each other for a couple of years and have a flirty relationship.

When I say drunk, I don’t mean stumbling everywhere and puking their guts up, he seemed pretty coherent and just more sociable if anything.

I, however, was a little more drunk. I admitted to him that I liked him as more than a friend. I asked him if he felt the same way. He kept saying “you’re a lovely person” and I eventually said “just answer the question”. He said yes and we kissed a bit. When he said “yes” he sounded kind of annoyed, like he was very reluctant to admit it.

things were a little awkward at work, but now we are very flirty again. I’ve noticed that when he stares at me, his eyes will look at both of my eyes and down to my mouth. He also looks at me first when he enters a room.

Do you think he meant it? As I said, he didn’t seem overly drunk. Although he claims he “can’t remember” what happened.

I bumped into a male friend on a night out. We’ve known each other for a couple of years and have a flirty relationship.

When I say drunk, I don’t mean stumbling everywhere and puking their guts up, he seemed pretty coherent and just more sociable if anything.

I, however, was a little more drunk. I admitted to him that I liked him as more than a friend. I asked him if he felt the same way. He kept saying “you’re a lovely person” and I eventually said “just answer the question”. He said yes and we kissed a bit.

Do you think he meant it? As I said, he didn’t seem overly drunk. Although he claims he “can’t remember” what happened.

The barista at my local coffee shop is really hot, is good with eye contact and we have really good conversations. We enjoy similar things and have similar political views. He teases me frequently which makes me think he like me simply as a friend. The first I time I came in he gave me my order for free and the next time as well, he tried to do it again but I insisted on paying for what I had ordered. He has covered some of the payment at times I've come up short. He does have a girlfriend but every time he mentions her its in an off handed way. Whenever I come in he tells me about things going on in his life and seems genuinely interested in what's going on in my life. I would have directly approached this and just asked him if he didn't have a girlfriend but I keeping getting mixed signals and am confused. Is he into me or am I reading way to much into this?

As a matter of fact, it doesn't even have to be a dark-skinned girl, but maybe a girl who just isn't conventionally attractive or the type that your peers would want from you.

I understand that dark-skinned women aren't everyone's type. (I understand that there are studies that explicitly state that men have a natural biological attraction to lighter women predominantly.) But I also can't help but wonder sometimes if those preferences are not just natural but also nurtured or shaped socially by male peer groups.

Growing up as a dark skin girl, I remember having a lot of experiences with different men of different races being very attracted to me but almost seemingly embarrassed to be attracted to me at the same time or scared to be attracted to me in front of their family/friends. I'm wondering if one of those reasons was because they were afraid that their friends/family would have bullied or ostracized them for that.

It seems like there's this almost unwritten social mandate, largely manufactured by certain men, for men to participate in celebrating not being attracted to dark-skinned women and those men in particular also like to push this idea onto their peers as the standard/ way of thinking for success and status.

For example this attitude of: "If you date dark-skinned women, you're not successful or a loser in my eyes, get a white girl and then we can talk" type of situation.

There are also negative stereotypes about dark-skinned women being masculine, obese, unfeminine, mean, that certain men like to perpetuate further in order to pressure their friends and family into not being with a dark-skinned woman, even if dark-skinned women aren't all like these negative caricatures that they paint of them in real life.

So, as a question for the men of GAG: Have you ever been peer-pressured by your male friends into not pursuing or liking a dark-skinned girl or a girl that your friends didn't approve of?