Search Results: jealous of what he could have been thinking

I’ve been dating my girlfriend Lucy for a year. Lucy has a lot of good values. She’s smart with her money and has no debt. We’re thinking about getting married in the new year. I’m 33 and she’s 43, so there’s no time waste. But 90% of her friends are male, so only has 3 female friends. Which is kind of strange to me. She’s not a tomboy, these dudes aren’t gay, so why would she be so close to other men? She has a guy friend Alex that she texts a lot. Every time Alex has a girlfriend she doesn’t like his relationship with Lucy. Also, Alex doesn’t text Lucy as often when he’s dating, and Lucy gets pissed that he’s neglected. I wrote about this in another question.

We’ve had arguments about her male friends and she told me that I’m “too jealous”, and that she’ll stop hanging around men for our relationship. She showed me her texts to prove there’s nothing going on with the guys, but I’m still uncomfortable.

On the flip side she hates that my best friend is a 69 year old woman whom I FaceTime once awhile. So how can I accept her guy friends and she doesn’t like me being friends with an elderly woman? She also got mad at me for going a girls apartment with a crowd.

We broke up 3 years ago (my fault, combination of immature, scared, and got jealous of little things). I've been working really hard on myself to not be like that. Last Friday I went out to celebrate, got drunk and then text her. Following morning after woke up and realized I had become a stereotype of "what could have been" and immediately felt like crap. Ever since then though we've been talking for hours a day. She's single, I'm single, and she said that I have changed in all the right ways. I keep thinking maybe I'm just imagining it. But its at least 100 texts a day, and my heart races like it did when we first started dating. It definitely feels like it could be more than 2 people who were good friends catching up. Am I trying to find find gold in a silver mine here?