Search Results: the honest approach

When I say “dangerous” I don’t mean a guy making some asshole remark like “fuck you cunt” or something else when a woman (politely) turns him down. Him showing some frustrated anger is NOT getting “dangerous”. It might not be appropriate and even creepy. But there is a fine line between him being sour grapes vs. being a legitimate threat.

I’m talking about a guy seriously getting physically violent, legitimately threatening violence or aggressively stalking afterwards. I’m talking in person stalking too (not stalking on social media). Like showing up at the woman’s house or at her work.

I do believe men like this exist. I make zero excuses for them and it’s twisted/wrong. But I also believe they are very rare (less than 1 out of a 1000 men). Instead women get paranoid because of ANECDOTAL evidence. They read a story online or hear of friend of a friend having a legitimately scary incident. Then they get this bogey man complex about men in general.

I say this because I think this paranoia has made women progressively worse in the last few years at tactfully rejecting men. They rather play games, ghost and of course friend zone and rationalize it to themselves out of a misplaced paranoia. When in reality all they have to say is “hey thanks for approaching me but I have to be honest I’m not interested”’. While no guy likes hearing that the reality is 99% of men out there will accept that and move on.

But why is it so hard for women to be (politely) honest? I think the so called rise of the “incel” community is partially attributed to men being frustrated about not getting direct communication from women. The game playing does more psychological damage then they realize.

Most men can take rejection especially in our mid 20s or older. We are used to sticking our necks out and taking the risk. It unfortunately comes with the territory but it is how it is.

One of the reasons men get so angry over the friendzone is not because we lost our opportunity to be more than friends. Rejection burns but that is just a fact of life for more most men. Dating is like being a door to door salesman to us. Its up to us to make it happen and if we get a no then we want to move on ASAP until we eventually hear a yes. The disinterested girl is now just a liability if we continue to waste our time and energy on her.

Anyway the real reason we get angry about the friendzone is we feel like our masculinity isn’t being respected. Respecting a man surely doesn’t mean dating him, having sex and/or getting a relationship. Its understanding his gamble he took a (likely uncomfortably) by approaching you. It’s now your turn to be forthcoming about where you stand. It need to be done sooner than later.

Confidently assuming he is going to be okay with being platonic friends when it’s plain as day he wants more is disrespectful, cowardly and selfish.

While I can understand that women are nervous that men won’t take rejection well in reality most guys can take in in stride. If they do get angry or rude than take that as confirmation you made the right choice.

No the truth is most women don’t want to lose out on the benefits of having the interested guy in their orbit (attention, favors, ego boost, someone to use against you really like, etc.). They also know that interested guy will likely do more for them vs someone who isn’t. This is especially true of if they see the guy is “nice” which women either consciously or subconsciously find feminine. Most of them have no idea how deeply insulting that attitude to vast majority of hetero men.

Anyway I haven’t been “friéndzoned” in a very long time but I’ve had women attempt that crap (including grown ass women in their 30s). The attempt itself is infuriating tbh (a woman past 30 should know better. I feel there should come a point in a woman’s life where she should understand male psychology better.