Have you ever made a fool of yourself talking to someone your attracted to?

[Anonymous]

There is a girl at the gym who I had caught checking me out. I approached her a few days later and introduced myself. Today I saw her and went right up to her not saying hi, but asked a question what kind of workouts are you into? She talked with me for a few minutes, somehow I think she misinterpreted me asking her routine to what times she comes into the gym. Which is what I did not directly ask her but she said she usually comes in late to avoid crowds etc. Long story short you could tell I was trying to make conversation with her, it was short but awkward to be honest. At the end of the conversation I was like well have a good workout and left. Now I know that in her mind she probably think I some weird ass dude. When initially she thought I was just like a cute guy she didn't know. I know the gym is not a place to pick up women. Now if and when see she's me again she is prob gonna be like " there goes this guy again.." Should I just avoid her all together and not even acknowledge her? The last thing I would want to do is make someone of the opposite sex fee uncomfortable.

[btbc92]

No. Not really. Because I am a type of person that when extremely young as a child would be very nervous and technically had a social phobia with EVERYONE. And that is best my experiences have shown me not everybody is friendly, wants to get to know you, pay attention to you, let alone nice people. I eventually stopped expecting much. But it didn't always stop me from talking to people.

Regardless of a person's attractiveness. I don't like trying to talk to somebody just because they are attractive. I know how to talk to people, but even as a naturally backward person, that doesn't mean I can't talk or communicate with people. My goal is to get to know a person and talk to them. Not their attractiveness. I had to learn to ignore it and make sure my primary reason is not that they are attractive, and it makes it a lot easier. Practice makes perfect.

Now if you are just a shy person, you're going to be like that around anyone. The biggest problem is that you didn't say hi. You always introduce yourself. Otherwise, e she knows you were trying to ask her out, she was weirded out not because you asked that and she assumed you were trying to stalk her. She was weirded out because she wanted to know why you bothered to ask that question if you knew you were trying to talk to her. She knows. She wasn't stupid. The problem is your overthinking and assuming way too much also, and that is because you weren't upfront in asking her anyway. If you knew that women would be uncomfortable and a gym is no place to pick up women, then remember that you do not pick up women in the gym. Befriending a person is fine. Dating is another story.

Firstly why would you try talking to a person you're just going to avoid? Have proper ETIQUETTE! And show that you were taught manners. Because if you do that, you definitely gave it away that you were trying to ask her out, and that you are not confident as a man. Whatever her ideas, thoughts, and desires then may no longer matter because you already gave up. That is a defeating attitude when there is no guarantee that she feels or thinks that way. Unless you are intuitive like me, I know when insecurities get in the way and know what is called: Self-fulfilling prophesy and self-sabotage.

Who are you trying to impress, what are you asking her out for, why her, why only if she is attractive to you, and why jump in if you're just going to quit like that? That is not how you become successful in life with anything if you have that mindset. While I do not agree with what you're doing and why. I will say that you need to have more backbone about yourself, be a man like you try to do in the beginning, and start finishing what you started. Unless her attitude is very clear that she is not interested, what I have learned is unless you TALK you won't KNOW. It is uncomfortable when you are uncomfortable and not relaxed and it makes others anxious when you're anxious. People can mirror you energy. Either way, if you don't know how to talk to a person. Then this is what you need to do.

If you are not going to ask her and see what her answer is, then at least say excuse me, you sorry to interrupt, you apologize to her, and you state your insecurities upfront so she understands where your coming from. If she enquires further, then tell her. Better to be honest and upfront and humble, than to fear her mockery only for you to realize you shouldn't have bothered with her from the jump. Or simply do not engage unless she decides to. That's all. But if she seems open to talk, go talk to her and not assume she isn't friendly. She acted weird because you acted weird.

[btbc92]

You have to stop assuming everybody is the same when there is no concrete evidence that she thinks that way unless her body language and her avoidance, in general, tell you that. Not a possible RBF, but that she appears cold and you would already know that unless already she appears stressed. MIND YOU it is not always you. But women expect something if you approach us. If you not being direct, we're going to start assuming either you weren't serious, or we're not worth being respected. Either way, it won't like good on your part. So if you really do care about how your view. Take a chance and talk and communicate. If she doesn't look like she wants to talk, then leave her be.