What are the cons of being attractive?

[Anonymous]

I’d say I’m well attractive from how much attention I get from school. It’s nice that people find me pretty but I really don’t know how I feel about the constant staring and the weird shit people did whenever they noticed me. This guy shrugged off his girlfriend after noticing I glanced (because I thought they were a cute couple) at them. I’ve always wanted a boyfriend, but no guy approached me even though I can SINCERELY tell a few of them have crushes on me. I don’t feel like asking them out either because I feel like I’m breaking a lot of hearts by doing so. I can’t tell this to my friends because they’ll get jealous of me and I don’t want them to feel lesser either. I legit sound so conceited but its the honest truth that I’ve been enduring this school year.

[Miristheiss]

It doesn't seem like there are many major ones.

One may get tired of being approved and flirted with and asked out.
I'm sure one would get quite used to be noticed and used to getting approached... to the point that it is taken for granted and they may want to be left alone and only approached when they are in the mood for it or only approached by the one or two people they themselves are noticing but if and when they are approached all the time they may grow tired of it.

That would fall under the "perspective" category. It just depends on what perspective you are coming from. Someone who is used to being approached and used to expecting most guys to notice her will take that for granted and get annoyed by it.

A woman who feels somewhat unattractive and is never approached and who feels invisible would probably envy that and wish they had the "problem" of so many guys being drawn to her. I guess it depends on your perspective and what you grew up feeling the norm is and what you are accustomed to.

Other then a lot of attention and having to dress "bum", sweats, no make up, baseball cap to be left alone (knowing if you dress nice, fix your hair makeup... etc. you'll have a lot of attention) I can't think of any real draw backs.

[Anonymous]

This may come off as a humble brag, but I was quite an ugly kid and then somehow grew up and became attractive

-fake friends. People pretend to be your friend but at the same time like to put you down or humble you. I like to say I have many “friends”, but not as many true friends, I keep my true circle very small and know they’ll always be there for me

-Men use you as a piece of meat without getting to really know you as a person. You are usually passed up for someone they view as “having more substance” simply because conventionally attractive people can’t have much of a personality according to them. All I want is a best friend who I can goof around with, and not many men are interested in that with me

-people think you’re dumb or vapid. I have been a model for 7 years but my favourite thing about me was going to university and getting my degree and my other hobbies such as art. But people still assume I’m dumb because I present myself well.

-people are more likely to nitpick/be overly critical of your looks or point out your flaws. You are subjected to (often unwarranted) “observations” on your appearance because people want to find a fault with it and think you won’t be offended simply because you’re otherwise considered conventionally attractive

-negging from the opposite sex because they want to bring your self esteem down a notch in order to get you into bed

- people literally get offended if you’re confident about your looks or about yourself. They assume you’re arrogant or narcissistic. If I were less “attractive”, people would be encouraging me to “love my body” and would go all body positivity on me. But instead I’m supposed to be insecure and humble to make people feel more comfortable and not come across as arrogant

- getting less (not more) attention from the opposite sex. I don’t actually have people approach me at all when I’m out. I get catcalled, but no people actually wanting to talk to me

[MCheetah]

Without me coming off rude, me just reading this makes me not want to be around you. I feel like I've been sh*t on for just having read this.

[little_bird1]

Attractive people are usually dumb, shallow and unhappy. They get all the attention, everyone wants to be with them and therefore they don't experience the reality of the world and don't learn about true values. They place looks on a pedestal and usually also seek attractive partners who are the same dumb, shallow and unhappy. They get away with it and receive special treatments, so when dating they also believe they are entitled to anyone. The older they get, beauty becomes meaning of life to them and they in most cases end up being in love with themselves unable to see anyone else's beauty. And, as I said, they are constantly unhappy and they don't understand why. But it's because they haven't gone through hardships and processes of rejections, so they didn't develop that part of character. Beauty alone is not sustainable, it has no other value then to attract potential partners. And once they achieve that, they don't know what to do next and they lose or sabotage it all. So they end up in circles doing the same thing over and over again, the only thing they know how to do - attracting new partners.

Now, bare in mind that there is a big difference between those are beautiful and know it, and those who don't know it. It's all about self-perception.

[humpbackjack]

Listen to yourself you sound as ridiculous as she does there are plenty of people that are attractive and extremely smart there’s also a lot of people who are gorgeous and very intelligent but act stupid around the opposite sex as a means of manipulation. The main thing is you sound very jealous and jealousy is something that will hold you back in life because I’m sure that you’re beautiful in your own right but jealousy will make you bitter

[little_bird1]

@humpbackjack Oh I know a lot of attractive people who are amazing, but the difference is that they don't think of themselves as attractive ;) They don't post selfies of themselves all over their social media to get validation, and they certainly don't themselves happy. They simply don't have any opinion of their looks because they have more important things to think about then physical appearance. At most they are aware they are not "ugly" but they have a lot insecurities about their looks like other normal people do. And THAT is what I find attractive. I'm not jealous, I think I'm okay but what's most important is that I learned true values in life and I'm happy! It takes experience and discipline to see physical looks as nothing but as a set of parts across the body. Beneath the skin we are all just same bones.

[little_bird1]

You can easily check in which group someone "attractive" belongs by simply asking them if they mind that their partner is with them because of their looks. I know a girl who asked her boyfriend why he loves her and he said "90% your beauty and 10% your kindness" and she was happy about it! Wise person would dump his ass.

[MCheetah]

An inflated ego and thinking the whole world revolves around you. (I can think of one car-named girl on here like that.)

"I don’t feel like asking them out..." Gimme a break. 🙄

As someone on the total and complete opposite scale of looks, I don't really have sympathy for those living life on Super Easy mode. And no, it's not "jealousy" or anything, either. It's like complaining that you're "too rich" or "too tall" or something trivial.

It's not like you can't "make yourself ugly." I have a cousin who looks like an A-list celebrity and 5'9", but she's a computer genius and very anti-social. Kind of like a female version of Sheldon Cooper who looks like Amber Heard (never mind Heard being a literal piece of sh*t). This cousin of mine hates how "naturally beautiful" she is. But I told her not to complain about it, because most human beings are ugly and get treated accordingly for it.

And it's not like people will ignore a great personality in spite of looks. Guys like Dwayne Johnson and Chris Hemsworth do just fine, and so do women like Emma Stone and Anna Kendrick, who all have looks AND personality.

I just don't see a problem with being attractive, or tall, or rich. Trying being ugly, short, and broke, and see how "hard" it is to be beautiful and have everyone adore you.

[Spookydood]

This is honestly the best answer👆 the vast majority of "problems" people report resorting from being attractive come entirely from psychological issues.

[TruthBringer]

I couldn't have said it better myself. And I wonder who that car-named girl is, probably not Subaru wink wink

[atiquahbby]

I completely get your perspective on this, however there are certain things people can face on being attractive. It sometimes isn't just an inflated ego, trust me I'm generally considered unattractive to people when I don't wear makeup and people's behaviour around me changes when I do dress up to an event with my hair and makeup done. I can definitely say that if people generally consider you to be unattractive, it can resort to bullying, and people putting you down to make themselves feel better. However from the other perspective, when I do wear makeup, I find that people exclude me in photos or sometimes think I am conceited. I haven't experienced anything too drastic, guys only stare for a couple of seconds so it makes me self conscious, but it isn't anything too much.
In the bright side, people are a lot nicer when you seem attractive to them and I would say this outweighs the negatives. I would rather wear makeup and seem attractive to most people than unattractive to most, there are far more negatives I have experienced with the latter.

[TheorionMage]

I once had the privilege of meeting my friend Louis Tanny's neices Tanny & Terrin Herlocker in their late teens. The older niece was beautiful, but the younger was 'drop dead STUNNING!'

The younger worked at a SEARS dept store as a clerk and people would approach her from behind and when she'd turn to greet them, even WOMEN'S jaws would drop! To her credit, she'd modestly give them a few seconds to close their mouths and 'get their 'deer in the headlights' shit together'.

I will not bore you as I am male and could wax effusive on platitudes but her most noteworthy attributes were her intellect and her magnificent personality which made her "the WHOLE package" and rightfully her beau looked like a human 'Ken' doll (lucky bastard!) tennis instructor.

On those RARE occasions when I was privileged to be in the company of BOTH sisters, they were obviously behaving like normal teens but intuitively internally as male, it was like being in the company of 'Venus' and 'Aphrodite'! The lyric: "How do you talk to an Angel..." comes to mind. To their credit, in my presence they never leveraged their 'beauty' personas.

On one occasion at my friend's family picnic, I had the opportunity to meet their Mother and to compliment her on the exemplary way she had raised her daughters.
"VERY WELL DONE, Madame!" For... Keeping America beautiful!

[Anonymous]

I definitely don't have what people define to be attractive, I'm not skinny, not tall and I'm quite old fashioned. People rarely notice me without makeup and I'd say most of the time, people's behaviour around me is pretty 'normal and ordinary'. So according to most people's perspective, I am 'average' and the thing is I have really experienced bullying due to my tanned skin. Some of my friends think they can sound seemingly superior to others by putting you down, and that is definitely the worst part of it.

However I dress modestly and putting on makeup and doing my hair makes a stark difference to what people do around me. For example, I helped out at a friend's wedding once I went relatively unnoticed, however, later that day when I attended the actual wedding I dressed up for the event and a lot more people approached me. So because I know both sides of the coin, I can definitely say that being attractive has less cons than being unattractive does.

When I wear makeup, I notice that people often compliment me, most people are relatively nicer to me, I also find that people are generally more willing to help and they go out of their way to ask if I need help. However I have also faced social exclusion as a result of it, people think I'm conceited and some people avoid me in photos, guys often stare at me for a couple of seconds which sometimes makes me self-conscious, but I'm rarely approached by them, making it fairly awkward. However, even with makeup, I haven't experienced anything more drastic than being stared at for a couple of seconds, so it's relatively harmless. People also don't think I'm dumb or stupid just because I wear makeup, and for the most part, it is a lot better than the bullying I face when I don't wear makeup.

[jeffnevrotski]

Kid let me give you some advice. and tell you some things. I was the one who walk up and say hello. Its your beauty that makes you unapproachable most think i don't have a chance in hell, 9r she's gotta have a man or she's too good for someone like me. Your looks are intimidating thats what is isolating you because you feel awkward in thos position in reality yoyr lonely and think there's something wrong with you. The only thing wrong is how your reacting. Thinking your breaking hearts. Obviously thats wrong because there are none to break have any apprached you? No then how can there be heartbreak with no relationship. You go up to one boy you like and start talking to him and most of those friends you have aren't really friends theyre just trying to siphon attention. Beeing seen with someone beautiful makes them beautiful. If you make it through life with 5 people you can count on when you needed someone the most you did great but only count on having 1 or 2. you'll marry 1 of them.
2 things then if you ever have a question ask me im around. Stop caring what other people think of you its not your business to care if i think your a bitch why would you care you dont date me, you dont eat meals at the same table you dont even know who i am so why would you even care what someone else thinks. If someone gets jealous as you meantioned earlier then get that person out of your life fast the person isn't a friend. A true friend would be happy for you. That was the while not caring what people think was building. To. Time goes by faster than you think. Lifes short don't waste time like your doing its to valuable cause when your times up its up.
Nobody will ever xare for you more than you so don't second guess yourself. You already knew but looking for approval. ✌️

[MJtheCoach]

You have to understand the generation you’re living in.
When I was between ages of 15 and 19 I would approach hotter and hotter girls and I will get rejected 90% a time but I would always be seen with hot girls but I’m the last generation for that I’m in my mid-30s now.


Boys in the Tiktok generation have no concept of what being a manly men means they have no confidence and then approach girls they rely on swipe right swipe left and they have no male skills to do anything this is why you’re feeling the withdraws, don’t get discouraged.


I know at this age you do go from who you think that are cute I have a high advice for you and I do this for a living is don’t go for looks only aim for going for a manly man I even probably would suggest going out with someone if you’re 18+ that’s at least four years older than you.


And another thing you’re too young to have a boyfriend as soon as you start getting into relationships the sooner you’ll be disappointed with guys you have to understand guys around your age are absolutely mor0ns!

[Cathy7734]

I'm just average looking but I have a girlfriend who is pretty and gets a lot of attention from men. As far as cons, this is what she told me.

1. People automatically think she is a dumb bimbo.
2. People are only interested in her looks.
3. She is automatically in the spotlight. She is introverted and likes to be alone. She hates being in the spotlight.
4. She gets things because of her looks. Since she didn't work for those things she doesn't appreciate them.
5. Some women hate her. They think she is a threat.
6. Many people put her on a pedestal and she hates that.

[Sarahr123]

boys stare at you at school because of their raging hormones. They’d just about do the same to any girl however average looking she may be.

A good way to know if you’re really good looking is if most girls hate you for no reason. Not by boys because young boys well they’ll fuck just about anything that moves with how their hormones are at that age and sometimes it stays that way for a long time past the teens too.

If most girls hate you for no reason then you might be very pretty.

[Hallo626262]

You'll get a sex drive eventually.

[anon1903]

- being expected to date douche bags cuz league is a thing
- being called bitch even for slightest hostility
- same gender jealousy
- people think you have it easy just cuz you have the pretty privilege
- being used as an eye candy in videos, photos, events
- having too many options
- being insecure about personality
- being harassed
- being an outcast sometimes
- basically everything from the movie Legally Blonde applies here
- being slut shamed if you're open
- being labelled as attention whore for no strong reason
- friends falling for you leaving you friendless in the end
- some partners might feel insecure and jealous as you get more attention
- perceived as smarter and more mature, than being a disappointment

[devilish-cutie]

Im pretty and I understand. Those that aren't won't and will just be jaelous of you not understanding that everything in life comes with cons.
I hate when guys stare at me, and so annoyingly when its obvious im uncomfortable. A lot of men dont approach as they dont think they have a chance. Some hate you just cause you are pretty. Some would never date you as you make them feel you are better than them.
As of your love life, you shouldn't concern with other but ysf. If there is a guy you like, try to get to know him, its your life and you deserve to be happy.

[laurieluvsit]

1) Cat calls (if you don't like them)
2) Attention from aggressive guys (if you don't want them)
3) Some guys think that the prettier you are the stupider you are
4) Stalking and increased potential for rape from stalkers
5) Extreme jealousy from other girls
6) Stereotyping
7) High sexual expectations
8 ) Having a guy like you just for your looks and not for who you really are, like he could care less about that, until he does... lol
9) Sometimes it's hard to find real friends because they are intimidated by you
10) You many times end up the center of attraction
11) Hate comes out when you won't act upon flirtations
12) You develop many trust issues

[sage2021]

You asked what the cons are. Guys find very attractive gals to be unapprochable and very intimidating. There is an old saying that is true: The prettiest girls don't get asked to the prom. No guys will ask the pretty girls because they are too intimidating. Maybe instead of making yourself up to look pretty, you could tone it down to look more natural. Also, the way you conduct yourself around people has a lot to do with why guys stay away. Have you heard the expression ""She is beautiful on the outside AND just as beautiful on the inside. You gotta be both. I don't know if you know who Dolly Parton is but she is a classic example of beautiful on the inside and on the outside. She is getting pretty old now, but people still love her and love to watch her sing. She owns Dollywood in Tennessee. She has everything, money, fame, etc., but you would never know it just by talking to her. She is sweet, kind, generous, loving, helpful, etc. Hope this helps you.

[ohshee]

Well that kind of all sounds good I guess but that's not the part that you really need to work on you you you need to work on that person on the inside that I'm sure like you said you are probably cute but see that's not what guys go after real guys anyway guys who just want to get their dick wet they will go after you they probably going to stick around too long either I mean it's all good right now probably. But there will be coming today this time to switch roads switch pads and something always seems to get lost then you just don't have what used to have. Or that you thought you used to have. So I would have to answer your question by saying there's a lot of attractive girls who con themselves. For just way too long

[lovelyhoneybones]

Pros always out way the cons of beauty. If you have a situation where there are positives and negatives but people will always choose to put up with the negative just to keep the positive, it isn’t a bad situation.


If you’re attractive there are things you can do to make yourself less attractive or unattractive yet people don’t take those steps. Complaining about being beautiful is like complaining about being rich. You have the upper hand. You have a better quality of life because of your situation.

[DonRollins]

The problem with attractive women is some of them never learn how to be a person, just an object in every room they enter. It creates narcissistic sociopathy.

Men don't experience this because women are either too passive or cowardly to be forward about their attractions or we are just oblivious to it.

We do however love getting big and strong and working out and complimenting other men with really gay suggestions about fucking each other in the ass because "damn Eddie your ass looks great" even though we're straight. Though that's more about men enjoying acting like fucking retards. I certainly do. I also assert that every man I know must be at least 200 lbs with abs. BIG MAN BIG. lol

[Floppy2112]

Being arrogant about it, like posting it online for everybody to see. "Oh, the world is so tough when you are pretty as I am."
I know you're a kid, but get over yourself right now. Do you know how you make other young ladies feel when you talk about how attractive your are? It makes them feel self conscious and makes you look like an ass.
Never in public discuss how attractive your are or how intelligent you are. There is always somebody more attractive and more intelligent than you. And it makes you look very arrogant and stuck up.
I would never date a women who brags about how attractive and\ or smart they are. That is a huge red flag, it means they are entitled and attention seeking. And attention seeking is the worst kind of behavior, entitlement is a close second.

[Subarugirl]

Oh shut up, she didn't include a photo and posted anonymously. You really gonna give a girl half your age a hard time because she isn't insecure about how she looks and want's a boyfriend.
As a woman, I am thrilled when another woman is confident and feels good about the way she looks. It doesn't make me self conscious at all, and I don't think it would really make anyone feel that way unless she was trying to tear them down.

[Cherry234]

@Subarugirl I agree with you. There was a troll who insulted the way I look but I think I'm attractive and other people think I am too. There's a difference between bragging about how you look and feeling confident in how you look. The OP wasn't bragging about how she looks. Some people missed the point of this post. I don't see why it's bad to feel nice about how you look just because some people are salty

[TruthBringer]

@floppy2112 Very well said, sir!

[Floppy2112]

@Subarugirl Shut up? I don't think so. You have no power over me.

[Subarugirl]

Yeah that was rhetorical, a figure of speech if you will.

[Floppy2112]

@Subarugirl If you say so.

[Grond21]

People assume you are smarter than you are. They assume you have lots of friends and people who want you. They assume you're happy. What they don't realize is that you might be struggling just as much as them. You might be just as smart as they are, but people don't help you because they think you are smarter. You might be just as lonely for a boyfriend but the only people who approach you are the players. And you struggle to tell if someone is interested in you for your character and heart or if they are interested in you for what's skin deep. It can be very lonely

[Anonymous]

I thought of becoming a male model because then I could travel the world. But I heard you have to work so much, and you’re always by yourself. So it wasn’t for me, but at the same time, I rather just work a regular job. Anyways, what I noticed is that some girls will try to make you jealous, so that you can like them (but at the same time it f’ing hurts when you see a girl you like flirt with other guys). Not only that, but most women assume you’re a player. So if you’re talking to a girl, other women who see that automatically get discourage to flirt with you. And I’ve also had quite a few women (like 4 in the past) stalk me before. I literally had a girl come every night to my house to possibly see me. Even though I don’t get why they just don’t ask me out or approach me? Instead of being creepy? And I feel like just as women, they only want you for your looks. So I care more about personality more than anything. Otherwise, that’s it for me.

[DarkCarousel]

The cons are that we have to be privy to questions like these.


Seriously. You’re probably pretty. That’s great. That’s easy. You were born that way. Now see what else you can contribute to society. How can you make a difference in the lives of others, aside from being momentary eye candy?



"You have more to do than be weighed down by 'pretty' or 'beautiful.' You are a fiery heart and a wicked brain. Do not let your soul be defined by its shell."

[jim009]

Guys who like you think you "must" have a boyfriend or that you are too hot for them. Carefully evaluate the confident ones who hit on you, they could just be confident, or could be gaming you for a lay. If you like a guy and think he likes you, make that first move. Manage expectations early "I'm not sure if I like you, but I would like to get to know you better"

[HighValue]

People get very upset when you explain why they will never meet your standards. They build up some fantasy relationship with you/infatuation then when they can't have you to live out their made up fantasy they get angry and may try to hurt you (like sabotage you at your job for example)

[Kaamraj]

Being a man, no woman has ever told me that I am beautiful (handsome) so it has never factored into my life. I work out and am in shape so I can assume that I'm not terribly unappealing. So I can say that I am unaffected by the way I look. But I'd assume that for women it's a minor detriment, that's why there is a multibillion dollar make up and cosmetic surgery industry.