I'm writing this to be honest but as equally respectful as I can.
I dated an Irish guy a few years back and in the beginning I thought he was a nice guy. Friendly and caring.
But he kept going on about how great a job he had and frequently offered me cash to help me out or make sure I could get home if there was an emergency. (I won't lie at first I found it incredibly odd like he was being my parent he was a little older than me)
His paycheck wasn't of great concern to me, since I didn't wasn't dating him solely for his money.
I'd dated other men from different racial backgrounds in the past who had good jobs but ended it because some were asses others were just incompatible.
I have always worked, living alone and learned how to manage my salary working full time and studying to earn more.
But in my current industry I realised working full time means working 42 hours minimum, 12 hour long shifts. With no work life Balance. So now I work part time.
At 3 days I work 36 hours a week and I'm often asked to cover an extra day.
I earn pretty much close to what I was earning due to tax and I have more time for myself.
Since signing up to dating sites, When I tell people I work part-time, some assume I'm broke, but then they look at my clothes and question how I can afford x, y, and z.
Being a person of colour this is something that I've been subjected to for as long as I can remember.
But now I've realised recently that people are actually hesitant towards me.
I fear it's the protests maybe even the pandemic, but the highlights over lower pay etc may have people questioning whether the person they like is after their money or if their preference is due to forms exploitation.
I have put myself out there on these sites and I have had guys bragging about their jobs, lifestyle and travels but the moment I've mentioned being equally travelled the conversations weins or I find is met with what feels like competition in other area's...
I'm worried that I'm in a no man's land.
I'm not poor enough for someone to take pity on me, or exploit. And I'm too stable for the same...
(Although on three separate occasions someone has actually attempted to exploit me financially.)
I'm not rude, as you can see here I'm trying to be honest but express what I'm experiencing without being disrespectful.
And that is who I am.
Even when I was out, a few weeks back some people from my own racial group were standoffish, when they then saw me talking to certain types of people outside our race, I was subjected to stares and eye cutting. To make things worse when I approached that group they rejected my attempt to talk to them.(why bother, you may ask?)
I felt like I'd been regarded a traitor for being able to liase between the two "worlds".
Some people are living in dire situations, it's not just because they are black.
Look at the working class level of society.
But as you have seen from the statistics themselves. The people more likely to not be in managerial roles are in fact black.
That's the reality.
Things are changing because well people are seeing this and offering opportunity's to help those they can, so in that regard it is good. But what hurts the most is the fact that a lot of us never asked for hand outs.
We wanted to be given the chance based upon our skills, experience and merit. To be treated fairly inspite of our race.
I'm insulted really that someone after seeing a photo of my poorly dad, assumed I only showed interest in them for financial gain. Had they enquired or waited to find out they'd have known he's past away after years of sickness.
I don't expect anyone to like or agree with me but this is just my view and perspective on things. So much so that even finding new friends is virtually impossible.
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