My husband ignores me in social situations, why?

[sundance]

He does it all the time and I hate it. We attended to a wedding last weekend and his friends were there too but I didn't know everyone there. He said he will say hi to his friends and come back. He didn't come back until the wedding is OVER. He does these kinds of things all the time and when I get very angry he tells me I exaggerate the situation. Am I? Why he keeps doing this? Isn't it rude? Sometimes when we meet their friends as a group he doesn't give me any attention at all. Why?

[Finchie40]

I’m sorry , but that is disrespectful that he does that to you , sadly that can be a red flag as well , that he doesn’t really value or appreciate you anymore. Especially if he is constantly doing this to you , when he didn’t do this to you before , in the beginning of your relationship with him. Usually when a partner starts to distance themselves from you , to prioritize other people , like friends or co workers etc.. that’s an indication that you really aren’t important to them anymore and sadly that’s a huge red flag , that they might be up to no good as well or planning to be up to no good. This same thing happened to me with ex girlfriends’ of mine , part of the reason why they are my ex. You sadly become a convenience to them and no longer a priority to them The thing is , if a partner can do that to you , when you are out in public with them , or weddings or events , just think what they do behind your back? , when you aren’t with them? Your husband is sadly a selfish person that only really cares about himself , Most relationships will end because of these selfish mindsets. You are best to have a sit down talk with him and express your feelings of concern to him , if he doesn’t make a change for the better of your marriage? I suggest you end it with him , and move on , you will only be hurting yourself by staying with someone that doesn’t really appreciate you anymore and doesn’t make you their priority anymore , that just treats you like a convenience. Especially if your husband never did this to you in the beginning of your relationship with him? It’s sadly an indication that they are losing feelings for you. My advice is to not be a sitting duck with sucker written on your head. If your husband loves you and wants you to be by his side , he will make the effort to change for the better of your marriage , if he doesn’t? That’s your answer to kick his selfish ass to the curb where he belongs and go find yourself someone that wants to be by your side , that makes you their top priority , that wants to include you not exclude you. Someone that actually loves you and cares about you , isn’t going to distance themselves from you and exclude you from things. Not saying someone has to hold your hand at all times , but you will be their priority and you will out weigh the other people in their lives , if the other people out weigh over you? You are no longer a priority you are just a convenience to them. The only reason you are feeling this way? Is because your husband isn’t making you a priority anymore. Ask yourself this question? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone that excludes you from things? That can easily go on vacations and trips with out you? That seem more excited to hang out with their friends over hanging out with you? Me personally will not stay in a relationship with a girl that automatically excludes me from experiencing things together with her . Especially places that she knows that I never have been to before , but all of a sudden she is going there with her friends instead , and excluding me from going? That isn’t love , that is being used as a convenience , i would never go on a vacation without my partner by my side , if my partner is not included , than I am not included as well , especially if she is my wife.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yeah.. Um. I do the same. The reason being I can talk to her any time. I don't often get to see some of these people much other than at social events.
My Wife is luckily also a sociable person who can light up any room with just her presence, so it has never been a problem.
Might I suggest a different approach under those circumstances in future? Go and talk to everyone. It doesn't matter who they are.. You'll be surprised how much more fun it will be!

[Flatmanlewis]

This is a very worthwhile perspective. I hope the asker reads this one well.

[TommyMountainFigure]

@Flatmanlewis Thank you.

[midnightmoon05]

I don’t think the asker is the solution. Sometimes… they want people to be on their side… it’s easy to read these type of questions and understand the personality. It’s the same as her next question about wanting hubby to help with house chores.
Our way of communicating and respecting our spouses comes from how we talk to each other…
To me these are really none issues… as Mr. Tommy explains… but some women will make it an issues…
As well as sharing household chores… men love to help but the dynamic of this kind of relationship will drive anyone insane.

[TommyMountainFigure]

@midnightmoon05 It all comes down to finding the person who you are really suited to marry. You see when it comes to household chores, I do everything around the house. We take turns each. if one of us misses something, there is NEVER "I did this last week so it's your turn" If a bin needs emptying, the one who sees it first empties it. You see, we are VERY much a team, not two people at loggerheads. If we go to an even at my wife's relatives, She goes off to see everyone too, and I go talking to everyone separately as well. We are BOTH very confident, socially, outgoing people who enjoy the company of others!

[TommyMountainFigure]

*event

[midnightmoon05]

Correct… the differences between two mature adults sharing life together on the same team vs. two adult kids living like roommates.. with a signed marriage paper.
My two teen kids behaved like that sometimes… and I am working hard to raise them to be two responsible adults.
Sometimes one would say why do I have to do it? what about “Susie”? I would respond … well… this is our loving home and it would be so wonderful to have all of us pitch in and get things done together or whoever sees it gets it done.
I think lacking good parenting nowadays may have contributed to these type of self coupling.

[TommyMountainFigure]

@midnightmoon05 It's SO true. If you want your kids to behave responsibly, then you cannot suddenly wake up one day with a conscience and expect them to behave like you want them to. It takes time, effort and seeing how their parents behave!

[DishLady]

For starters, when he goes to his friends, that’s a natural thing. Perhaps they’d childhood friends etc.


You COULD be proactive and go to him after 10-15 min to be by his side and introduce yourself rather than just sitting around on your own.


You could also do this thing called mingling… very common at social events… and meet some new people with fascinating stories to share. Start off with “how do you know the bride and groom?” Blah blah blah, try to catch your guy’s eye in the process and when you do, you can graciously excuse yourself from your new friend and go to your guy’s side to be introduced to his buddies.

[Screenwriter]

How long has this been going on? If you've been married a long time, sounds like you need to have marital counseling. He doesn't seem to care about your feelings at all. I can't understand this. He's gaslighting you about your feelings, also. "This shouldn't matter to you! What's wrong with you?"

I think this is a serious situation. You don't want this to continue and you need it to halt, or your marriage will need to halt. Tell him this. My feeling is, this isn't the only area where he ignores you, correct?

[blunty]

Feeling ignored by your husband in social situations can be really tough.

Distraction: He might get easily distracted or deeply involved in conversations with others, not realizing he's excluding you.

Social Styles: Perhaps your social styles are different. He might be more extroverted and enjoys mingling independently, while you might prefer staying together as a duo in social settings.

Unawareness: He may not be aware that his behavior is making you feel ignored. Sometimes people don't realize the impact of their actions unless it's pointed out.

Comfort: He might assume that you are comfortable on your own in these situations, especially if you seem self-assured or if you typically navigate social settings well.

Underlying Issues: Sometimes, behavior like this can be a symptom of underlying issues in the relationship that might need addressing, such as feelings of disconnect or tension.

Communicating openly about how you feel can be a good start. Try to discuss your feelings at a time when both of you are calm and not in a social setting. Expressing what you need from him during these events, like checking in with each other or sticking together more, might help him understand your perspective better.

[midnightmoon05]

I would go around talking to others and letting them know what an amazing guy I am married to!
we are doing just that … we are traveling and meeting strangers… hubby talks to other people ( male or female… I am as well) but we always tell others how lucky we are to have each other.

I would never get piss off in your situation. I would be so proud to see his friends and be a supporting wife what a great gal he has and tell them what a great guy he is to have good friends around.

one of your other questions was about friendship… sign… good luck to you and hope you find happiness within yourself…

[sheikalana]

Well, I assume since he's your Husband you see each other every day and have each other's attention every day, right? Once he sees his friends he sees it as boys time and wants to hang out with them, time flies when you're having fun and maybe in his head it hasn't been that long that he's been away from you. You already sleep with him and see him every day in the house, what makes you want to have his attention so badly during these gatherings and events? If it bothers you don't turn it into ar argument but tell him how it makes you feel uncomfortable.

[Jersey2]

Ugg. I’ve done that and I have heard about it afterwards from her. I’m just interacting with others and forget myself sometimes. That was many years ago so I have grown out of it. He means no harm.

[EmmaMary]

It's about time you started considering your options, as to where you want your life to start taking you.

[lightbulb27]

have to talk to him.

requires training and new patterns.

[DrPepper12]

That's not cool. He should be especially aware when you don't know people.

[jahaims]

He is social and you aren't. If you don't want to be social don't go to social events.

[EddieWinehouse]

I think you need to search deep and try to remove the barriers

[Floda]

you're probably ugly

[DarkLegacy]

@sundance Just ignore this pink troll, she is calling everyone ugly on every question it answers, and saying how she is horrible to them and doesn't like them

[Anonymous]

Wow, how rude and disrespectful.