Have you ever been afraid of being alone?

Question

After 10+ years of relationship and living together I have left my boyfriend because we weren't happy together and soon I'm going to move to a new apartment and live alone. I don't have many friends and I feel a bit of anxiety thinking about all the time I'll have to spend alone. Have you ever feared being alone and how did you overcome this feeling?

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I'm kinda going through the same thing as you are right now.

I was living with my boyfriend but he died suddenly 8 months ago.
I have been staying with a good guy friend of mine ever since.

In March I rented my own apartment and pay expensive rent every month, all my stuff is there, but I am not ready.

It will mean sleeping in the bed that he and I shared, except he won't be there to cuddle and protect me.

I am older than most people on this website. However, I can still feel afraid to live alone.

I lived alone for many years at different times in my life, but this is the first time I am feeling this way. Kinda like you huh?

I would get a kitten 😻 because I love them so much and if you get one that is affectionate, it makes you feel better and not so alone

If you do get a kitten 😻 be sure to get one that has been around good nurturing people since being born. They are the ones that give affection.

If you are a 🐕 person there are plenty of doggy's that need a mom. They cost more than kitty cats though.

I know it's going to be hard on you - especially at first. Just remember that I am going to be going through the same thing.

If you believe in God, pray to Him. He will watch over both of us!

🌹Sage

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Yes, only after my last one with similar situation. I think because you’ve been together for a long time, lived together, and loved… it’s just normal to miss and depend on them so much… so you feel lonely that they’re no longer here and you question the future… but if you give it some time… you’ll realized you can be happy on your own again and what’s important is finding your happiness… build your support system.. do what you want in life… find your peace.. give yourself more love that you deserve. And more.
It’s also a normal feeling to be afraid and question it.

CaptainOverthink · Accepted Answer

I can't relate to your situation specifically, but I have been alone with myself a lot and one thing I know that goes really well with it is to really explore the freedom of it, how it empowers us to feel independant and capable.
First, you'll need to..
1. Accept that you are out of your comfortzone, which can be scary and as long as you are near the edge of it or outside it, it's growing. ... And so are you.
2. Seek personal growth through trying out new things. Either make a list of thing you'd like to be able to do, sports, hobbies, skills, dancing, workoutgroups, hiking and so on.. or just look around in the area, what's avaliable? Sign up and meet other people. The types of people that want to grow are usually very good people and make great friends, you'll find them out there, doing things.
3. After a while, when you feel that you know what type of life you want considering your new situation. If you are still very lonely and if you feel that you want stability and aren't travelling a lot, then maybe get a dog or a cat. A dog is more flexible than a cat but both require attention and presence.

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Sort of. Back in the `70's, I went to Cedar Point for the summer to work there. I was perfectly fine with it all until my parents got in the car and started driving home and it hit me that I'm now completely alone!! This is not something I can just walk away from and go back home in an hour or three! Shortly after they took off, I started crying. Besides, my 21st b-day was in 11 days!
4 years ago, my aunt was my only immediate family member left and then she died (I was made to give them the okay to pull the plug on her!) and I cried like a baby over that but, part of it was because I knew that, from now on, I'm gonna be COMPLETELY alone for the rest of my life, most likely!! So far, I'm right! To make matters worse, a year earlier, my greedy, evil ex-sisters fucked me out of my house, where I'd spent my entire life AND I lost a couple tons of my belongings and life's memories in the process!! Things I can NEVER get back!! Now, 3 of my ex-cousins wanna take THIS house (grandma's) away from me and I'll have NOTHING left!! And if they lose, the bank wants to take it away from me, too!!

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Being alone is a great thing. I have lived alone for 3 years after divorcing my ex of 18 years. I do not go out of my way to date women and have yet started. Now this doesn’t mean l haven’t been trying. In my day to day activities, like running errands, I flirt and see where it goes. In a club or bar, women are expecting to be approached. But if l flirt while they are working, their guard is usually down. If they happen to be having a stressful day and l can make them laugh or smile, l will have made a good impression on them. I find that to be fun and it gets me through my day. Even if l don’t get her contact info.

ManInChains · Answer

When I was a kid I would panic when I was alone and didn’t know where my family were. I guess I had a fear of abandonment when I had never actually experienced abandonment before. But when I became a teenager and now that I’m an adult I value being alone as long as I have my cat with me. I know I won’t be Entirely alone though because I have my phone which connects me to everyone I know. Without it I might resort back to my irrational childhood fear.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I went through the same thing, I was in an 11 year relationship and I was very scared to be on my own. It was super hard to sleep alone again and I had trouble sleeping for a good 8 months, I jumped into a new relationship as soon as I could because I was lonely, but I don't recommend that lol. I seriously suggest focusing on yourself and fixing you before you try jumping back into things.

DishLady · Answer

No… and you shouldn’t be either…
I know it’s hard, but being alone and free to discover who you are is a blessing. Not having many friends now at this moment can be easily resolved by joining a few activities in your new neighborhood where you can meet people while getting to learn about new things that might interest you (eg, cooking classes, hiking groups, book clubs, travel/tour groups (especially now that summer is here)). You’ve got this.

Xia1994 · Answer

It’s a normal reaction and feeling because humans are social beings. I’m single, I don’t want to be in a romantic relationship right now so I hang out with my family and friends when I don’t feel like being alone sometimes. I’m going to get pets too and I’ll hang out with them when I don’t feel like being alone.

DrPepper12 · Answer

You're not alone!!! You're LIBERATED!! Plus there is a world of difference between being alone and being lonely!! I think it's lonely that you're being afraid of, because to be alone with oneself is truly to master oneself. This is a fantastic opportunity not something to be afraid of!!

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

I can't really relate with you on this one. I've never felt fear towards being alone, rather I have always looked forward to it. Girls can be suffocating. 10+ years is a long time being with someone, so I'd recommend trying to rediscover yourself and double down on the things that interest you; I'm sure you'll enjoy your freedom after getting a taste for it

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Yes, but not in the sense you're asking about..

When I was a young kid I got left behind in the pitch black, alone in the middle of playing fields for hours.. Very long story

I was terrified of being alone for months afterwards.

rosemilk · Answer

at least you don't have to be in a relationship you're not happy in. that may be worse. take the time for yourself. you may even like being alone once you get settled.

you don't have to be alone. get a pet

tzdc21 · Answer

At first when I was a kid I was horrified of being alone. And of course I ended up being the outcast alone many times at school growing up. But after a while, I grew to like being alone, and now I prefer it mostly.

jshm2 · Answer

No.

Also, no one is really afraid of "being alone" any more than people are "afraid of the dark".

They are afraid of what may hide in the dark; just as you may be afraid of your shortcomings when you're alone.

Account · Answer

No. That has never been among my fears. I appreciate my own company.

WintersDaughter · Answer

Not really? I'd rather not be alone, but I'd be okay if I was. I'd rather have a husband and children, but if that doesn't happen I'll be okay. Sad, but okay.

Gent207-2 · Answer

I have my faith  But that's not for everyone, so take this time to develop yourself, find a hobby, join a social group or volunteer to help a cause

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

You are never alone if you have imaginary friends.

sawno · Answer

For me its more a fear of never finding someone special again. I haven't met anyone yet who comes remotely close.

leahzrc · Answer

I thought I loved being alone until my mind made up fictional people watching me live my miserable existence

itsclearlynicholas · Answer

I'm already alone lol 😆😆😆 ♂️ yet ah well lol 😆 what's another decades of the same lol just like decades already

Jefftheduck · Answer

Make friends go out do things meet a new guy get a dog you don’t have to be alone

PreferNot2Say · Answer

I decided nine years ago that being alone is a lot less stressful. I've never been happier.

Jkgordon · Answer

You move on you were y to spend 10 years without marriage wake upevolve and smell the coffee

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Not afraid, but I thought it'd suck more if I was alone. It's nice to have someone to come home to.

exitseven · Answer

No, but when I am home alone I suddenly can hear every little noise.

Rangers · Answer

Not at all, I'd love to be alone with just me, my dogs, and my girlfriend out in the jungle, woods, or desert living in a trench where there's nobody.

In_Trance · Answer

I'm not afraid of it at all. I think there's a lot of good to come from solitude and most people should take advantage of it at some point

Unit1 · Answer

Alone is my second name bestowed upon me by fate.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Just 10 years to realize that you aren't happy with him, such a short time 🤣🤣

whistlingwh0res · Answer

well, you will meet some bad people out of loneliness and then you accept being alone finally. And you start meeting true friends from that moment.

thisAppIsGarbage · Answer

I'm a twin. I'm 42 years old. I was only alone for 4.5 hours my entire life. I was 23. It was the worst experience of my life.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course, that's what keeps people on relationships so long

Serkee · Answer

Yes, for all my life.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i literally do not because of Jesus

Zoe112211 · Answer

I have become accustomed to a life。

DreamLife7 · Answer

10 years? 🤣 girl he left u

Cheerguy · Answer

No i prefer it now that i divorced

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I LITERALLY COULDN'T BE MORE ALONE

Somegirl124 · Answer

Yeah I live alone and feel a bit like that

Have you ever been afraid of being alone?

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