Search Results: how to tell her no

I was always told this growing up. I used to believe women understand men better then vice versa. But not anymore.

I believe women understood men better in earlier times out of necessity. They used to depend more on men to provide and protect them. It was important for them to understand men they wanted to get in a relationship with vs. those to avoid.

But in modern times women seem far less concerned about understanding men. Not that I expect them to naturally understand that. But one thing they seem to struggle with is understanding the difference between likeability / attraction vs. respect. Men actually crave respect more then they crave sex, intimacy, etc.

It’s possible to still respect someone even think you don’t like them. It’s about understanding their situation and what they have to deal with. And truly men generally understand this concept far better then women do.

One example is when I broke up with my ex girlfriend. At that point I was no longer attracted her at all. Can’t say I liked her much either. But I still respected her. I knew about her struggles and dreams. That’s why I gave her the respect of sitting down and breaking up face to face. Endured 2 hours of hell (screaming, crying, etc.).

But I don’t regret it. I didn’t fixate on her flaws and chastise her over grudges and things I didn’t like about her to self justify my decision (I’ve had women do that to me when I was dumped). I had enough respect for her that would just add insult to injury.

One day, a man came to a philosopher and said:

— "Listen, Philosopher, I must tell you how your friend behaved."
— "I’ll stop you right there. Have you considered filtering what you’re about to tell me? Let’s see, the first filter is truth. Have you verified that what you’re about to say is true?"

— "No, I heard it from someone else and..."
— "Ah, is what you want to tell me at least something good?"

— "No, unfortunately, it’s not something good, quite the opposite..."
— "Hmm. Is it useful for you to tell me what you’re eager to share?"

— "Useful? Not exactly..."
— "Then let’s not speak of it anymore. If what you have to say is neither true, nor good, nor useful, I’d rather not hear it."