Do women really understand men better, or has that changed today?

[blueonblack22]

I was always told this growing up. I used to believe women understand men better then vice versa. But not anymore.

I believe women understood men better in earlier times out of necessity. They used to depend more on men to provide and protect them. It was important for them to understand men they wanted to get in a relationship with vs. those to avoid.

But in modern times women seem far less concerned about understanding men. Not that I expect them to naturally understand that. But one thing they seem to struggle with is understanding the difference between likeability / attraction vs. respect. Men actually crave respect more then they crave sex, intimacy, etc.

It’s possible to still respect someone even think you don’t like them. It’s about understanding their situation and what they have to deal with. And truly men generally understand this concept far better then women do.

One example is when I broke up with my ex girlfriend. At that point I was no longer attracted her at all. Can’t say I liked her much either. But I still respected her. I knew about her struggles and dreams. That’s why I gave her the respect of sitting down and breaking up face to face. Endured 2 hours of hell (screaming, crying, etc.).

But I don’t regret it. I didn’t fixate on her flaws and chastise her over grudges and things I didn’t like about her to self justify my decision (I’ve had women do that to me when I was dumped). I had enough respect for her that would just add insult to injury.

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Updates

3 mo

My biggest point from this is women generally demand that men understand / respect them REGARDLESS if the woman is of any value the man or not (this drives modern feminism in my opinion). But vice versa no such expectations. Men can live with not being liked but we want to be respected. There is a difference.

Not that you should waste time with someone that offers you little benefit. However you can be RESPECTFUL to that person just as long they didn’t do anything to harm you.

[Anonymous]

Women only understand what their feelings tell them. But the good ones at least know when they're being irrational and do the best they can to curb it, or at least apologize for it.

This is why you can typically break guys down into two groups those that exploit women, and those that do not. Because it's hard to respect someone when you know their motivations and can exploit them if you were so inclined to.

Good men know women will always be influenced by their feelings. Good men know that it's be very easy to take advantage of a woman. But because he LOVES her he does not. That doesn't mean she won't try his patience at times.😆

[blueonblack22]

Women are biologically programmed to test men. I accept that and other guys need to as well. It’s programmed into their DNA. I also believe women are biologically programmed to be more selfish in relationships because there was a time in history they had to be. It was about survival. But that isn’t necessary nor fair in the modern era. But they haven’t evolved out of that.

But my problem is that they be encouraged by society to indulge their sh*tty impulses. And they don’t take accountability when they do.

Men have bad impulses too (violence, promiscuity, etc.). But modern society doesn’t give men leeway to indulge these impulses. There are consequences for our behavior and we’re held accountable (as we should). But women aren’t held to the same standard.

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with the first part, not with the second part of what you said so much.
Women are allowed, and do make bad choices. Buy you are right, based on history women have never had to OWN those bad choices before. They married, they only had to make one choice. CHOOSE A GOOD MAN. Because everything was riding on that. And the man took care of her. Now today women do not NEED a man for anything. This allows her to indulge every hairbrained feeling that pops into her little head. But women still want the out of when 💩 gets too real a guy is going to save her. Regardless of what she's done. And somehow it's still never her fault.😆
You're right women have caught up to equality with men. Except in the way of accountability. That's probably still lagging several generations behind (we can hope at least)😆

[blueonblack22]

The thing is woman can get away with exploiting double standards in the short term. But it ultimately hurts THEM. When men fail WOMEN ultimately fail. It’s not a zero sum gain.

Nobody cares about the man’s feelings no matter how valid they are. But the only women are going to change is when they realize they are ultimately destroying themselves when they indulge their own selfishness.

[blueonblack22]

Clarification. Women only care about a man’s feelings if there is still something in it FOR THEM (they don’t want to lose the relationship, worried about what other people might think of them (don’t care what the man thinks, etc.). But men on other hand are expected to respect a woman’s feelings regardless if she is still of value of him or not.

[emeraldsaphire]

Men confuse me a lot. Like I think I can kinda understand them cognitively, but my husband just kinda has his man logic that I don't get. I think the big difference is men are a lot more direct. This can throw women off who are often looking for more meaning behind the words, but for the most part there is no game to be played. Women on the other hand are rarely direct. We rarely say what we mean and we kinda expect you to figure this out. This is something I've been working on with my husband. Because men are more direct I think it's a bit easier for women to understand men then for them to understand women. The thing is that you have to want to understand your partner and sadly not a lot of people want to do that anymore.

[Apple1996]

Men always say they are simple so some women might not put in the effort to try to understand them because of that

[blueonblack22]

Yes this is your husband. But how to act around men who have no interest and / or find value in?

Obviously you don’t nor shouldn’t waste your time with them. But lets say for whatever reason you find them unattractive and / or don’t like their personality. Yet they never did anything to antagonize / harm you. Are you still respectful (not the same as being nice)?

[Apple1996]

I give respect to everyone until they give me a reason not to

[blueonblack22]

💯💯💯💯

[blueonblack22]

That’s how it should be. I’m the same way. But look abbycados response to this. That’s what I’m getting to.

[Apple1996]

Yeah i use to be a bit that way in the past like thinking only the men in my life were worth respecting but I've learned its best to not put limits on it

[blueonblack22]

I’m glad you noticed that in yourself.

There is this thing called “general principle”. Doesn’t mean you should bend over backwards for someone who can’t offer much value to you. But ít also means you can respect them. And again respecting someone doesn’t mean you even have to be nice to them. But just treat them like a human being.

[msc545]

Not only do I not understand men, they also don't care.

[blueonblack22]

Exactly.

[Summeroflove]

It depends on the woman now men and women are wired differently so some very empathetic women project themselves onto men as well as the fact all men are different. I think it’s important to understand your man or your woman rather than worry about billions of other people.

Now being manipulative and being genuinely empathetic are two different things so if someone’s only looking to get what they want and need from someone while not caring about the other person. That’s an issue.

Getting to understand one another on a deeper level takes time and compatibility. There are great people who would never work in that type of a relationship. They could be friends but they couldn’t ever for different reasons

[Anonymous]

Not all men are the same, so not every woman can understand every man.

[blueonblack22]

Nor do I expect them to. But men are more expected to understand women regardless if the woman is of value to us or not.

[Opinion Owner]

I know, that's what's wrong with this world, too much expectations...

[Abbycado]

I understand the men I need to understand.

[blueonblack22]

You actually proved my point perfectly.

[Abbycado]

Didn’t ask, don’t care.

[strateguy632]

1st t