Do you believe that women understand men better than vice versa (I don’t)?

[Anonymous]

It is heavily implied (and even outright stated) in society that women supposedly understand men more than vice versa. However the older I get the more that’s a giant myth.

Women might understand men’s sexual impulses and know how to attract (and often manipulate) men with their feminine wiles. That is if they are able to do so. Mother Nature isn’t exactly fair to all women when it comes to who fares better via genetic lottery vs who doesn’t when it comes to looks in itself.

However I truly believe most women fail to understand that what most men want is to be respected by women. Respect is not the same thing as attraction. They often go hand in hand but not always. There are people in this world I don’t find attractive and/or dislike. But they have attributes I can respect..

For example I have more than once come across some loudmouth aggressive overweight women. I know they are loud (and often bullying) out of frustration & insecurity.

However I’ve met a few them who were very driven and self responsible in their career fields. They know they can’t rely on their looks to get by on life. Instead they were forced to work hard to get by the same way a man is expected to work hard. That I can respect despite often not liking their personalities.

Anyway what many women fail to understand is the root of most (non pathological) misogyny in modern society is just the overall disrespect men perceive from women. It’s not sexual frustration. It’s about respect.

Men can naturally sense real respect vs passive disrespect (usually goes behind a fake smile)

If women naturally understood how men crave respect then:

• Modern feminists would shut up about 95% of the crap they spew (yes they really do hate men unless a man agrees with them and/or they find him attractive).
• Women would understand what a deep insult the friéndzone truly is
• Gold diggers & freeloaders would find nothing “cute” in bs they do
• Ghosters would feel much more guilt.

Women understand men better than vice versa

50/50 mystery and confusion.

Men understand women better then vice versa.

[Effably]

Why do people have to slap on extra politics to everything? The question and a little tidbit to angle responses would do great.

Instead this now is about misoginy, misandry, feminism, friend zones, gold diggers and so on. That makes it difficult to comment on the question because there is an implied stance taken to all the other stuff. Which while it may be linked to understanding each other and may be something that irks you, turns the post on its head in a way that in no way benefits your original question. Just look at all the prefacing I have to do to answer only the original question.

To answer the original question? I think women and men suck at understanding each other. I do think men as a group try more to understand women as a group, not that we succeed much. I do not think that extends to understanding individuals where we all have equal interest. As such it of course follows that I think men understand women better than women understand men, although we're still pretty clueless.

And the one thing I can agree with is that mutual understanding of course would be useful. Whether we discuss gender, race, origin or anything else.

[Asker]

I admit it’s complex. But the reason I brought up feminism is because from my observations most feminist assume they fully understand what life is like for the average guy and they sure as hell don’t. If they had a better understanding of what have to deal with and what we really crave (respect) they would think twice about some of the crap they spew.

[Effably]

And I am not holding that logic against you. Just highlighting that it rewrites the narrative of your post.

Of course women would have different views on a lot of things men face if they understood us better. Even simple matters such as lacking intrinsic value would be a gamechanger.

Comprehension is absolutely key! But discussing things fairly without a presented verdict, guilty and victim is often more productive. That's why I went on the long tangent.

[Asker]

Yes I admit there were too many variables in above when certain key points could have been focused on better. However those topics are definitely not unrelated.

[zagor]

Not necessarily. Most women are clueless on the matter.

[Asker]

You know it’s okay if women are clueless. But they assume they’re not. They assume they already understand our lives and needs and what we really want. Truth is most of them have no idea.

That’s okay. It’s impossible to ever fully understand the other gender. But don’t make stupid quick short term and selfish judgments assuming you already understand the other gender when you don’t.

[zagor]

Good point. A lot of times they make false assumptions and then try to justify them.

[Asker]

And men don’t get to justify their false assumptions. Especially nowadays.

[Lliam]

Sounds like you've had bad experience with women. Do you accept any responsibility for your poor choices or bad behavior? Have you considered self reflection and personal growth or do you just blame women? I mean, it's not like there aren't good women out there for those men who are worthy of their love, loyalty and respect.

Do you realize that what you said about men wanting respect also goes for women? It's a two way street. I hear a lot of disrespect in your comment.

If some modern feminists are bitter and hate men, you sound like the male equivalent by stereotyping women and holding bitterness and hatred for the entire gender.

Do you think women are inferior to men in anything but size and strength? Because that would be disrespectful.

[Asker]

You know I actually wanted to build out more details to just be fair with this question. It’s a bit tough when I am limited to 2000 characters.

I can and do play the devils advocate when asking these questions. I am introspective and yes I have made plenty of mistakes in my life and have said/done unfair things to women that I later regretted.

However I have absolutely no doubt that our culture and society has changed and not in a good way. I notice older generation guys often don’t get this. Many of them still believe in chivalry because there was a time where women generally respected that. Now “modern” women are generally the opposite. And there a lot of women like this now. A lot. Don’t tell me “oh just make better choices in dating” because this cultural change in pervasive. It’s not easy to identify the crap that’s going on. I might be encounter a woman who is seemingly decent but when challenges arrive she is now being encouraged to take the mental shortcut for selfish short term benefits.

That might sound like a cop out. I’m not using that as an excuse to quit. But you have to acknowledge the special challenges younger straight men face nowadays in our modern culture. What worked in your time doesn’t usually work nowadays. It often leads to young men being exploited.

[Lliam]

I appreciate your explanation. If what you are saying is true, I would have no idea if women in general have changed, aside from wanting the same respect as guys.

I hear an awful lot of guys on GAG who seem to want to go back to Victorian days where women lived at home and were considered old maids if they weren't married by age 21. They became obedient, dependent pieces of property and men acted like kings. Women never had any experiences other than raising children and keeping house.

Is it possible that's what's going on? I don't know.

[Asker]

I absolutely don’t want that and albeit a few trolls I don’t see other men saying that either. We want fairness but modern feminism see this all as “a war” and a zero sum game.

From what I’ve seen is when we men do “what women say they want” it’s similar to an irresponsible parent letting their adolescent doing whatever they want. Of course the kid is going to be influenced by his rebellious emotions and impulses. He might have might have moments if brilliance but he doesn’t know the long term consequences of his decisions.

These “modern” women mostly have no idea that when they indulge their short term impulses/feelings they are not only harming men but ultimately harming themselves. Seriously is long term happiness being voluntarily childless and unmarried for your entire life? But that’s what most of these modern feminist “say” they want. It’s supposedly “freedom” for them.

So now singlehood rates are skyrocketing for both men and women. Is that good for society? But women usually get to decide if they want a long term relationship, marriage and kids. They are the gatekeepers.

So more and more men are finding themselves frustrated, jaded and lonely when it comes to dating. The teenagers run the show now figuratively speaking. Unless more women (nobody really listens to men) speak up about this crap it’s only going to get worse.

[Asker]

Also when it comes to indulging emotions these women have little or no control at second guessing their negative emotions. They are being told that “they are oppressed” so disrespecting men without thinking twice of the facts and/or long term impacts on what will do to him is “good”.

[Lliam]

Is your point that fewer women want to have kids?

Also, I think there are vocal, radical feminist leaders who, on one hand, hate men and, on the other hand, want to act more masculine, themselves. But I think they are a small minority who don't represent the majority of women. That would be like thinking that radical, high profile cross dressers and trans-sexuals represent the entire LGBT community. Or like thinking that militant, anti-white racists represent the entire black community.

[Asker]

Again this issue is more pervasive than you realize. Of course not all modern women will identify as radical. But when it comes down to judgment call situations they are more likely to take the easy way out because our culture tells them to “embrace” their feelings.

For example I have a former female “friend” who told me a few years ago she planned to stand a guy up on a date just because he called her “babe” twice in a text conversation. I read her entire convo with him. The guy was definitely flirty but he never mentioned sex or said anything creepy. They were going to meet publicly too.

I told her she was totally fine to cancel the date but at least give the guy the RESPECT of knowing she wasn’t coming. She could even text him letting know she couldn’t make it and block him fast if she was so terrified of his response. But the bottom line is this guy might of rearranged his entire schedule to meet her. She’s a grown ass woman in her early 30s too.

In your time the vast majority of women wouldn’t quickly decide to disrespect a guy like that. Even 20 years ago they wouldn’t do that. They would call to cancel. But now modern society is telling women they are “justified” to indulge their emotions and not give two shits if it’s disrespectful.

I personally believe women are generally more selfish and picky in relationships because there was a time it necessary for self preservation. I think these subconscious impulses are now considered a woman’s “truth” or some nonsense. And they are encouraged to embrace this more and more to their own detriment.

[Asker]

I talk about this is in further details here. Are there evolutionary factors that make women more selfish then men? ↗

[Asker]

However I will fully acknowledge that men have subconscious impulses to make stupid and harmful decisions (promiscuity, violence, etc). But men are being CALLED out for that nowadays. But women are just being given more and more leeway to indulge their selfishness.

[inhua]

only attractive men are to be understood

Ted Bundy, Jeremy Meeks, Cameron Herrin are all good looking criminals who have women defending them and trying to "understand them"

the average looking or below average looking men can piss off for all they care

[Anonymous]

EVERYONE understands men better than women.

[Anonymous]

50/50 mystery and confusion.