Why do women "over-analyze" things? And why men do not?

[Anonymous]

From my personal experience and from women answering on GAG, I do believe a lot of women tend to dissect every single bit of information given by their guys and go over them multiple times.

Sometime for the better, sometimes for the worse.

As a guy, I rarely do this and I believe most guys are quite like me (?). Sure, I think about what my partner has told me and all, but it's not a big part of my day and I tend to forget a bunch of details that are nice and fun to share during a conversation but that I don't think are worth keeping long term in my memory. As a guy I tend to focus on the task at hand and have a hard time doing multiple things at once.

But, I do think a lot about the person I'm in love with throughout the day. Just, not analyzing things. Just feeling good thinking about her in a very simple and emotional way.

I'm quite interested to understand why there might be such a difference between genders. Is that a behavior women develop as they grow up? Is it something they have inherently no control over? Is that something that has a clear role in relationships between men and women? Is that a behavior mostly constrained to their guys or is this something women do about everything else as well?

Come and give me your ideas and opinions!

[toulouse]

The only time I have thought about what a guy said, was when it was very erratic and he was having random melt downs, from things that seemed innocuous to me.

i was not sure if he was playing games, or had trust issues from being abused as a child. I thought about it, to better understand how to go about interacting with him, in case it was the latter.

i do not think women do analyze more than men, but they are certainly given more recognition for doing so, and given different reasons for the same act.. I notice, when a woman thinks about a detail, people will say " women do this. they are too emotional. she needs to cool off. not worry so much. relax. ". A guy does it . "wow that guy thinks too much. he needs to slow his thinking down, chill. ". I think its a prejudice people are taught early on,. subtle & insidious.

Now, my guy friends definitely analyze things, no more no less, than my female friends. myself, I think about things as far as what category they belong to, what they represent, how it fits nto the larger picture of life.

but if a person who I interact with regularly, is being inconsistent, and I'm not sure they are just trying to waste time, I will reflect on it. because I want to be rational and understanding, and perhaps helpful in how they deal with things.

also I don't like jumping to conclusions. in order to not to that I have to let the persons character reveal itself before forming conclusions. in order to do that, I have to pay attention to detail.

also, I'm an actor. & work at a mental health center, so regularly I study psychology. I am accustomed to thinking of the motivation behind actions, and the understanding of the person, and from the person who is making a move.

I think often as well, some people feel more at liberty to bullsh*t- but you don't know if that's what is happening with an particular person.

People will generally, think about things that do not make sense. its often hard to tell,when a person is not making sense, if its genuine confusion. deliberate ambiguity, or just someone who is mental.

In my case I like to be careful and understanding in case it is a force beyond their control. and if not, well, I learnt something about manipulation. do I think of these things, when I'm doing other things- no, of course not. So it does not interfere with my day or my deadlines, to take time to think thoroughly about my interactions, if need be.

Sometimes I end up helping someone, but I always learn things from thinking through things,.

[Asker]

You do bring interesting points. but, let me give you a simple example. Between women, it is very frequent that after they have had something new popping up with their boyfriend (good or bad) that they'll pick-up the phone and go over it with their best friend.

This is much a rarer behavior between men. I don't say it's good or bad because I think it has positive and negative aspects to it. But, I believe it's different between men and women and I'm interested to understand why that is.

[Fitzroy]

I analyze because, as mentioned in your elaboration of your question, 'you' are all so commonly quiet. I am left no choice- and so many men love spouting that WE expect YOU to be mind readers! No, other way around- and you are all way more passive-aggressive.I have known quite a few men who could not shut up, though.

You do things out of the blue that are very inconsiderate like forgetting plans or forgetting to tell me you are dating other people and most -yes, 'most' -men analyze a LOT! Especially about techniques for how to 'get' women and how to be good in bed and how to 'win' at just about everything.

I analyze people who are playing games, actively making me uncomfortable the types of people who 'give (you) a look' and I have no idea what is going on . Or the people ho are discomforting friendly and solicitous one day and ignore me the nest.It's the reason I come onto GAG hoping others ask or answer question I have about these instances...Which answers your question yet again: women in general are never any one thing as a collective any more than men are. And the GAG site is for analyzing problems, so that's what you'll find on here :D

Men analyze ;game' women analyze 'collateral damage' recovery. If women are so analytical why do so many males on GAG complain about us being shallow and stupid? Overly analytical also implies that we think about things we do not need to be thinking about which in turn implies that our concerns and interpretations of Life are not valuable to you. Maybe you need to try categorizing objectively non-judgmentally the things we genuinely talk about verbatim, maybe switch around the interpretation ie: 'Why do women talk about shopping all the time?" -->"Why do women talk about spending money all the time?" -->"Why is spending money important to women?"-->"Why do women not like to spend money on dates?"--> "Why do women not approach guys to go on dates?"--> "Why do women like successful men?" -->Why do men care about spending money?""Why do men like to be friends with the 'cool' guys?""Why do men grade other people on scales of usability?" = the same reasons: planning a healthy. Stress free life. To some men, worrying about what may happen is stressful, to some women, not worrying and trying to fix the messy outcome is stressful. We don't over-analyze any more than you under think and we do not think about stupid pointless things any more than you do stupid pointless things.

[Fitzroy]

I forgot to post a link: The Discovery Channel just re-aired an old topic with a lot of the same old tests and arguments I ( and probably others) have read in many books and seen on GAG and in everything from NOVA to 'Coupling'

This may or may not answer your question but it may interest you and others. It is a one-off show called 'The Science of Attraction.

link

[vishna]

dude we have no control of this, especially if we like the guy, we girls dream and like to feel special so when a guy says something to us , we have to analyze things, but this is exactly oppisite if we don't like the guy, then we give him no mind at all, what they say could be alien gibber gabber, we don't care

[Waggaman]

I think you're looking at this the wrong way.

Yes, women generally over-analyse anything to do with relationships... generally. I believe women's brains are wired to manage relationships, which is probably why they are better at it than men, so they always want to make sure they know where things are at any given point in time.

I think men's brains are wired to manage situations. We still over-analyse, we just focus our attentions in other areas.

[Asker]

Yes I meant in relationships, that's what I was talking about in the question. And you seem to agree with me on that point. I find your point interesting though I disagree with your comment about women being better at relationships than men. To me it's like a car, it's not because you know all the intricacy of the car mechanics that you are a great driver! But it does help when something is not working and need to be fixed. LOL

[TheGoodTheBadTheHOT]

Well, you just made a whole bunch of gender generalisations there.

As for guys not over-analysing. Well, you've not seen many of my answers then have you?

[Asker]

I don't say there aren't guys dong that, I said most guys. And that's my opinion, until I see otherwise of course.

[wonderw]

I think you got at the answer yourself when you said "As a guy I tend to focus on the task at hand and have a hard time doing multiple things at once". This is supposedly a big difference between men and women. Women are in general better at multitasking while men do best focusing on one thing at a time. So we are working, talking on the phone AND analyzing what you said last week. While I'm guessing men in general are better at going with the flow and feeling what they feel at the time.

[-StillWater-]

Men don't have enough energy to bother, women have too much energy.

[Fitzroy]

link

[FierceMegan]

Men don't over analyze in order to balance out the crazy women like me that do. :P

[shani982]

Very true :P

[FierceMegan]

:P