Why is it this generation of men really struggle to take accountability?

[MissPiggy2025]

At my work im the only female union rep. I essentially do my normal work but kinda act as a let's say lawyer to my colleagues if they get in any trouble at work i can sit in there meeting and defend them and advice from a legal stand point and making sure the mangers follow all policies and procedures.

I was trained in business law as to why I volunteered myself to be a union rep as I thought it be a useful thing to learn for free.

I dont work with great people as it is as its a entry level position job so we certainly have some interesting colleagues. I seem to getting a lot of young men especially around my age late 20s who really struggle to take any accountability for themselves especially men from Asian backgrounds but today im gonna use an example of a English lad I work with.

Ash is the same age as me 28 still lives at home with his nana, can't drive, goes home any chance he gets, is abit if the class clown at work but he's actually sometimes very annoying he treats people like shit especially women. he's been dating one of my closest friends on and off for years and got her into ❄️ too even though she swore shed never do it because thats how her dad died.

My friend is actually a really good girl and is way out his league. she's just friends with him atm so I decided to set her up with a contractor at my work whose a really nice guy. They are so happy together now and in love. Obviously Ash isn't happy as he's lost control even though he treated her like shit.

Anyways Ash is constantly in trouble at work and I stay professional with Ash at work and rep him time to time. He took an extra 7 mins on his break even though ots a agreed in his contract to take a 30 minutes break not a 37 minute break. He thinks the mangers are being dicks for giving him disciplinary action for this and blames me for not doing enough to get out of it.

I told him its no one elses fault but his own maybe needs to get a watch.

Updates

1 mo

There is no way I can excuse him for breaking his terms and conditions unless he had a medical or family issue which he doesn't. When we had a meeting to discuss how we could improve the company. He got up in front of everyone and said i should resign for not defending him well enough. Its not my fault he can't tell the time at 28 years old and maybe he should take some responsibility for himself was my response. he's gone round trying to smear me at work to my other colleagues as well

[CalmUntilAbused]

Okay, I'm going to give You the benefit of the doubt here... This "rep" action could mean either "represent", which would actually make You stand out as a kind of proper union representative, or "report", which would make You the exact reason why most men these days are only motivated to take their own lives.

Now, as for the answer to the question in the title, the reason men do not take accountability is that there can be no accountability without the freedom to make decisions. As of the 21st century, feminism has practically stripped men of almost all authority to act freely and make their own decisions. Now, if they cannot choose their way of action, they obviously hold no responsibility for these actions. They are basically (wage) slaves, the ones responsible for their actions are the ones barking out the orders. This, as well as Your actions leading to the collapse of this Ash guy's relationship that might have been His only motivation to do anything anymore, also explains why He's taking longer breaks than allowed and does not care for the quality of His work. His life is basically done for before it even truly began, just because He's a man, and therefore He assumes nothing He does (or does not) matters.

Therefore, in a way, He does have a medical issue - His medical condition is His depression arising from the Male Loneliness Epidemic as well as all the constant nagging He is forced to endure. Honestly, if He's at the point where He avoids and even criticizes/"mistreats" women, He might be close to snapping and becoming one of the E. R. cultists - which will obviously cause His own death (not that He cares at this point - and yes, I deliberately wrote "at this point", He most likely already no longer cares whether He is alive or dead, the one last thing that must still happen for Him to become an E. R. cultist is for His accumulated frustration to pass all emergency thresholds), but will also bring death to many of the women who have mistreated Him in His life, as well as some innocent women caught in the crossfire. If I were You, I would show Him some empathy, for the benefit of everyone involved.

[MissPiggy2025]

Where have you gotten but he's mentally ill? Plus he's not a wage slave he does about a 3 hour week and claims working tax credits.

he's never threaten to kill himself once to my knowledge. I think your making a lot of assumptions out of nothing here.

he's certainly not lonely either. he's constantly going out and partying with friends how do you think I know he does coke?

[MissPiggy2025]

To say im the reason most men take there lifes is abit strong too. I've actually helped a lot of men get help for there mental health and have a lot of empathy for men in this generation but that doesn't mean men shouldn't be held accountable

[CalmUntilAbused]

@misspiggy2025 Well, I am kind of glad I gave You the benefit of doubt. You seem to only be clueless, not hostile to men. Thus, allow me to present the reality of an average man to You.

We men do not usually talk about killing ourselves. See, even if we did, we know nobody would care. There is simply no reason for a man to show weakness - best case - it will be ignored, worst case - it will be used against Him.

Then... He goes out partying with friends and doing coke? Well, I guess the former part might have blinded You from the latter. He is definitely aware that coke can kill Him, so if He does it anyway, it is a pretty clear sign He considers death an acceptable option. All this "partying with friends" is just a smokescreen, an armour He puts on to show that He is strong - the details reveal Him to be (almost) completely devoid of hope.

As for You being the reason for men to get motivated to take their own lives, it was only one possibility, in case the "rep" phrase represented "report" instead of "represent". If I can trust Your clarification on this matter, I can only reiterate my pride for giving you the benefit of doubt - You seem to be a good, just mightily clueless woman.

One last part about this Ash guy being a (wage) slave... If He is being ordered around, He is quite literally a slave, with little if any responsibility for His actions - since He is only following orders and has no authority to make His own decisions, there is literally nothing to hold Him accountable for. Whether He fits the definition of a "wage slave" is a whole different story, that's why I put the "wage part in parentheses - if He only works 3 days a week (3 hours a week seem way too short, I believe it to be an honest mistake on Your side), I guess He is not exactly a "wage slave", while remaining a slave for the company and the society as large, since men have been recently stripped of pretty much all agency by feminism.

[MissPiggy2025]

Maybe the reason for your male loneliness is the fact you call women "clueless" over a random man's situation you know nothing about but yes im the clueless one because im a woman and all men are victims of women wanting basic human rights

[MissPiggy2025]

I think your probably the prime example of what im talking about. Men are always the victim and its all feminist fault. You type of really need to come up with a new one its like a broken record and probably why your lonely too as most normal people dont like people who love to play victim and blame women for everything there's even names for them now incels or something like that but yet again im just a "clueless woman" so what do I know

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Woooow 😂. So basically, you don't like Ash so you're going to do everything in your power to get him fired?

This is the kinda thing that destroys companies. And in my opinion this is the main problem corperatizing everything was initially in response to.

The first piece of advice I have is laws are tools for people with the ability to enforce them. This idea a lot of people have "you broke a rule, that's wrong, you need to be held accountable " is bullshit that you pick up in school. That logic doesn't apply anywhere else in the world.

If a police officer runs a speed trap and everyone speeds by the same amount, after enough times, you'll find statistical patterns that show there's certain cars that get pulled over more often and some that almost never do.

Where I don't blame you, it sounds like the managers are trying to get rid of him too.

But here's where all these ideas come together:

Your job is to do everything in your power to set the kid and the company up for success. To allow someone to be fired over a 7 minute overture on a break, at that point why are you there?

The message you're sending out to all the other workers is that if you're a little goofy and rough around the edges, you're not going to be protected. The whole point of a union is to ensure a career is stable and practical. That's YOUR job. It's HR's/management team/seniorities job to fire him if he's taking it too far.

I'm a little hung over right now so I hope I said everything in a clean way. But I just want to say that I think how you grow from this moment is going to define how your career goes. I'm not saying to baby the kid, but you came here complaining he's immature and friends with your friend and sometimes is less than 15 minutes late on lunch breaks. It's just petty.

And you don't want to be that person because eventually you'll be in the same position as that kid and there's going to be nobody willing to stick their neck out because frankly you don't deserve it.

[MissPiggy2025]

Were did i say I didn't like him and that i wanted him fired? Can someone literally quote were i said that 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I did defend him but what more can I say if he admitted to it and they've got cctv.

Everyone gets treated the same at my work over conduct he's not special. How would like it if you were waiting to take your break meanwhile your colleagues taking the piss in smoking shelter having an extra 7 minutes whilst your working.

If anything my works let him off lightly. He only got a warning thats a slap on the wirst.

You can't break the rules of the company and expect to get away with it or everyone would do it and no work would get done.

[MissPiggy2025]

he's not a kid either he's 28 . Im 28 married, mortgage and child on the way. he's to busy living off his nan and snorting coke maybe he should learn to grow up instead of blaming everyone else its a massive issue in my generation were their always the victim

[Telekinetic-Potato]

"He took an extra 7 mins on his break even though ots a agreed in his contract to take a 30 minutes break not a 37 minute break." Is not something you say about someone you like. It's just a silly thing to make a big deal over.

"Ash is the same age as me 28 still lives at home with his nana, can't drive, goes home any chance he gets, is abit if the class clown at work but he's actually sometimes very annoying he treats people like shit especially women. he's been dating one of my closest friends on and off for years and got her into too even though she swore shed never do it because thats how her dad died."

This signals there's an element of this situation that feels personal to you. You write about him in a way that reveals emotional frustration. And indicates you precieve your status as higher than his.

Everyone here breaks rules at work. Every job I ever had I got away with whatever I wanted and still got promoted to leadership roles. People would ask how I do it and I'd tell them I know why the rules are in place and I never get in the way of that.

These companies see a degenerate coke head living in his mother's house the same way they see a young woman climbing the corperate ladder. They don't care because there's too many of you to care. And the part that hurts is they aren't wrong for that.

Whenever I talk about how men have certain advantages because there are certain concepts we learn since childhood that women don't, this is a perfect example.

It's probably hard for you to see it this way but you're thinking in terms of fair and unfair. God never said anything about that. Because it doesn't exist.

[MissPiggy2025]

I don't wish on him being fired and even them worlds you quoted prove that.

I dont dislike the lad but he was the one who made it personal so if he's gonna talk shit about me , ill talk shit back as its only fair and plus im only telling the facts he is abit of a loser and maybe if he took some responsibility for himself it might change things for him.

Im not trying to climb any ladders or I wouldn't bother getting pregnant or being a union rep too career ruining choices right there.

Personally I think he's using this as a way to get back at me for helping my friend move on from him and find a new man but thats another thing that has to be someone else's fault not his own because woman can't make choices for themselves clearly

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Maybe things are different across the pond. But In the US a union rep is one of the most powerful jobs a normal person can dream of getting. You'd be as powerful as a politician here.

[MissPiggy2025]

Really 🤣🤣🤣 thats mad and im not trying to be rude in saying that. We do have some reps that are abit deluded and think there a politician but in the uk are jobs are literally just to make sure mangers are following the correct company procedures and treating staff accordingly to them

[MissPiggy2025]

As to why its career ruining. Most the mangers hate us as we are constantly watching over there shoulders and come into conflict with them.

Them kind of colleagues never move up and its just protection we benfit from because the mangers dont want us catching them out

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Many of us think it's crazy too lol. But they're political in the sense (some of this is me guessing but I've heard stories) there's so many ways for reps to completely derail a project, it effectively gives them leverage over potentially millions of dollars, contracts and whatever else is hinging on someone laying a slab of concrete that day or whatever they can put a stop to.

When I got my asbestos inspector license the instructor told me a story about a union rep who was mad at a contractor for not using his guy to do the inspection required before tearing a structure down. So he told one of the workers who was described in a way that reminds me of you talking about Ash lol that anything "suspected of being asbestos" calls for an immediate stop. Which caused big problems.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

But yea, I guess that's why it's political people hate you so the friends you make probably owe you big time.

[MissPiggy2025]

Its ran by the labour party which is a very much hated party especially right now in the uk for good reason and they say there's ways to work yourself up into politics from it but its not. We have a thing called the academy thats ment to help your progress but its just a liberal brain wash camp using people to campaign for them for free.

I got offered it but refused as im not liberal and only became a rep for a better education, to help my colleagues and protection.

Its pretty much well known if your daddy didn't send you private school and you benfit greedy business men in some way but your not getting into politics

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I wish I could say I'm surprised. Looks like George Orwell wasn't as fictional as people wish he was

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@ilmigardner the original true huh?

[Nikki1989]

It is not just this generation. They have always been like that. Men never liked to take the blame for anything.

[ammar12343]

Who hurt you?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Giving him disciplinary action over such a small amount of time does seem really excessive.

[MissPiggy2025]

7 minutes though and he has done this multiple times and gotten away with it so he thinks he can take advantage.

I do also think my work is petty as to why I became a union rep too but there's no why I can really defend him if he admits doing it and he was caught red handed. He breached his contract in the businesses eyes.

Its also not far to the people who do stick to the rules and come back on time. It be understandable if he had a health issues or something came up like a family emergency were had to take a phone calm but he was just in the smoking shelter.

He only got a first written warning which last 8 weeks and its along process before anything serious would happen. Its literally a slap on the wrist but he's butt hurt and I think its deeper then just that its because im friends with his ex and helped her find a nice guy

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You’re just waiting for them to fire him at this point

[MissPiggy2025]

Well im not really. Unless he does something again then they wouldn't fire him. Plus its his responsibility to stay out of trouble not mine. I have no control over his life choices.

At my work it might be different else were but you get a first warning stay out of trouble for 8 weeks its gone, second warning 8 weeks again stay out of trouble and its gone, final warning and its 6 months and then on the rare occasion if you do something after that you get fired. What he did was classed as conduct so things like being sick to many times etc doesn't count. They'd only fire him if he was a repeat offender and at the end of the day if you can't stick to basic rules at work and then get pissed when punished why bother signing a contract with them in the first place.

Its like if you hired someone to paint your house and you were paying him hourly including his breaks and he took extra long on his break you wouldn't be to happy about it. Thats how the business sees it

[rtj1211]

It's hard to generalise but there could be any number of reasons why he behaves the way he does. Firstly, it could be attention seeking due to lack of empowering male role models growing up. Did he have an absent or weak father? Did his schools not have male teachers?

A second possibility is that he has been treated badly by women growing up, so he has unresolved pain and possibly hatred toward females, which may play out in how he dates/relates. A boy who was never loved growing up is still waiting for that unconditional love of a mother toward a child, which is not exactly available to a 28 year old in the real world. At least, not outside of a skilled therapy session where it occurs without being overtly explained as such.

Does he actually have any self-directed goals? Have his dreams been trashed by significant others? It's very hard to be 'a good guy' if you have been emotionally and spiritually abused in that way.

I wouldn't try and judge him too much until you feel you have some kind of deeper understanding of him as a person... even if the final conclusion ends up being that he is, in fact, an objectionable jerk...

[Chazmatazz269]

Too many men were boys raised by mothers who alienated them from their fathers. Women never accept responsibility. Without that necessary male influence, how else are boys supposed to learn to do so?

[CalmUntilAbused]

@chazmatazz269, that's an incredibly sound point. Thank You, good Sir!

[MissPiggy2025]

I actually agree with what you're saying. Ash has neither his mum or dad in the picture and was raised by his nana so what you said probably has so truth to it.

I've tried to be empathetic towards him in the past but him calling me out in front of others over something so petty is kind of whats done it wity me.

Im pregnant and dont need that shit. I did my best given the circumstances and he only got a warning which is nothing in my work place so I feel its more personal and more the fact I helped my friend move on from a toxic relationship with him

[InknKink]

If you employ the dredges and if you're job focuses around scraping the sediment off the bottom of those dredges... it's not exactly going to provide you with a favourable view.

When you're job is dealing with people having disciplinary actions brought against them, it only stands to reason you're going to receive a skewed view. The good ones, they avoid any reason to interact with you in the first place.

A criminal defence lawyer asking why all his clients are criminals.

[MissPiggy2025]

I have some people who genuinely just made a mistake and had a bad day and will own up to it. I know it sounds sexist but I rarely have to ever rep women unless its health related

You ever seen them memes online if a image of a man doing something dangerous and stupid and it says "this is why women live longer" yeah well thats my work.

The women tend to avoid getting themselves into trouble in the first place whilst men at my work if they see an issue or dont know what there doing they won't report it to a manger they'll just think they know better and do something extremely dangerous

[Anonymous]

Every person has the capability of being an asshole, a good person, an egotistical nightmare, a kind generous soul, take criticism well, yell at you for the littlest critique, etc.

That was real good what you did especially setting her up with a guy who would genuinely make her happy. You’re a wonderful amazing beautiful person for showing you genuinely care.

[Anonymous]

It’s not just men. It’s both men as well as women. I work in a field dominated by women, a lot of unaccountability there as well. If you’re thinking it’s just men that’s all you’re ever going to find. Same thing people w Benton mentalities do. All they ever see is the injustices according to them because society collectively is somehow against them.

[exitseven]

It seems that the daycare generation and the generation where everyone got a trophy have a problem with accountability.

[Anonymous]

Most men aren’t bad and neither are most women. There’s also large numbers of women who won’t take accountability.

[LiamJHayden]

"Why is it this generation of men..."

Gives a single isolated example.

[MissPiggy2025]

I have plenty others but I didn't think you'd want to read every example in the book sorry for assuming you had a life

[jahaims]

Most humans don't know how to take accountability. It isn't gender based or new.

[Anonymous]

Seems like it's just Ash, if I met someone like than they'd be encased in concrete 'accidentally'

[MissPiggy2025]

Its mainly Indian men in my experience. I have to rep them a lot and whenever there in trouble let's say for breaching health and safety there more concerned who reported them over the people they could have killed or injured.

They'll get very angry and tut at mangers as there telling what they did with cctv proof and say that wasn't them and lie or blame someone else. I had one colleague try and blame his wife and when I asked why he said he's rather she was fired over him. Obviously the mangers didn't take that as they had evidence it was him.

They'll say stuff like "who reported me because i wouldn't reported them" so they've basically just admitted they wouldn't report a health and safety concern and would rather risk others wellbeing then be classed as a snitch.

They'll shake there heads and say "no, no" and even laugh at mangers

Tbf a lot of the English lads will owe up to and take my advice as there's no point in blaming others or lying as theyll get caught out but I do have a hand full of them who think the mangers are wrong for telling them off for not doing there job correctly. They'll be like "omg that mangers such a bitch so what if I ran off to maccie for an hour instead of doing my shift"

[Opinion Owner]

Guess accountability is the factor of self-employment

[MissPiggy2025]

I agree. My husband and my farther were both self employed at one point and you can't really blame anyone else when things go wrong in them cases

[rapfan107]

Not just men !! People can't take accountability nowadays

[Dargil]

Blathering nonsense.

[MissPiggy2025]

Piss off then if you don't like it

[Jersey2]

There it is. Now I don’t have to say it.

[Anonymous]

It's just that kind of generation.