Firstly, let me start by saying that people who are unattractive really have my sympathy. I know life is much harder for them. They have far fewer romantic prospects. They have fewer job prospects. They have fewer friendship prospects. They're more likely to be convicted by a jury and they're sentences are harsher. They are viewed as less trustworthy. And on and on. I know and am friends with some people who are physically unattractive. It also sickens me how people tell them to "quit whining," or how it's really no big deal. It is a big deal, and past a certain point I believe expressions of sadness are inevitable and thus I do not dismiss them as "whining"
However, physical attraction is a component of romantic relationships in almost all cases. To deny this is denying reality. If someone isn't physically attracted to the other, that relationship is almost certainly destined to be an unhappy and passionless one.
On another note, unattractive people generally don't find other unattractive people attractive. This is why I don't just dismiss their complaints and tell them to just "date within their league." It's not that simple. You will have two people who aren't attracted to each other, in most cases. This is why I advise people to up their league, rather than date someone they aren't attracted to.
@Illusive_Man Thank you. I find it odd how some people believe they can improve matters by telling the person to just quit whining, as if there is no such thing as a legitimate expression of pain. They often point out that these expressions of sadness are pointless. From a practical standpoint, I suppose they are right. However, shouting in pain when you've just hammered your own finger is also pointless, but people generally accept it as inevitable. Sometimes expressions of emotional pain are inevitable, too. Particularly when it is a life long problem.
There's a side of me that wonders if the "quit whining" advice is, in some people, a defense mechanism because they simply don't know what to tell the person.
@TheInfamus So as not to clutter the other person's inbox, I'll respond to you here.
How do you account for the differences between the women of GAG and the women in your own life? Why do you think many women on GAG think you're attractive, yet the women in your real life allegedly (and yes, I use the word "allegedly" quite on purpose) do not?
No. Why the heck would I? Looks aren't everything, but they're still important. I'm not gonna be with someone I'm not physically and sexually attracted to be. It wouldn't be fair not only to me, but also the person I'm dating.
The first one looks like a mug shot, she has good basic facial structure and she could be given a makeover easily. It's also the face she is making that makes for a bad photo I think she is crying :/
Plus in psychology we learned that the better people get to know you the more attractive they perceive you as especially if you are kind and helpful. Why do you think you see so many ugly men with gorgeous girlfriends? To you they seem ugly and way below her league, but to her he's someone she loves and knows well and that's just how the human brain works.
In psychology I also learned that people tend to meet ugly people with mistrust. If a person is ugly, it lowers his/her chance of anyone wanting to get to know him/her in the first place.
"Why do you think you see so many ugly men with gorgeous girlfriends?" I don't see that very often at all. I see it on rare occasion.
No, I wouldn't feel attracted to such a person at all and I wouldn't wanna lie to them about this and hurt them if they find out eventually. Neither of us would be happy in that relationship.
@Bluemax I would either lose weight and try to make the best out of my looks or eventually give it up and look for someone equally as "ugly" to be with
If you found someone equally ugly to be with, would you be happy in that relationship? You already said you wouldn't be now. Why do you think you would be if you were ugly?
My heart goes out to anyone who is born ugly. their lives are harder than the rest of us. But I had to vote truthfully, I would not date that ugly woman
@TheInfamus "it really does suck being ugly, life is def not easy for me" Says the guy who has been told by countless women on GAG that not only is he not ugly, but attractive.
I'm not looking to date Johnny Depp or Theo James ( :'( ) But I need a minimum of attraction towards him, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get intimate with him. So no.
If you're not attracted to those people in the pics now, what makes you think you would suddenly become attracted to them if you were in an accident and rendered ugly and disfigured?
It's easy for the attractive to tell the unattractive "Date someone on the same level of attractiveness," but if YOU don't find them attractive, what on earth makes you think unattractive find them attractive?
Let's be honest. It's a difference in ugly when someone who don't take care of themselves to someone looking below average. I would date a woman below average if she is nice, sweet, caring, and loving.
Would this dating someone who is "nice, sweet, caring, and loving" extend to people for whom you feel actual dread at the thought of crawling into bed with them?
If u look like them I would get a makeover and run everyday. Some people are just lazy and don't want to keep theirself up which, cause them to let theirself go.
I don't consider what has been pounded into us by 2 million years of human evolution as "shallow." Why use a word with such a negative connotation to describe a perfectly natural human trait?
What would you do if you were as ugly as those people in the pics?
@Bluemax probably would kill myself lol jk anyway you're right, some people would say it's being shallow but that does have a evolutionary perspective to it...
depends if I was a guy or girl, as a guy it wouldn't matter much, I'll earn a lot of money, would try to become famous and all, and if I achieved that I would get a lot of pussy being a girl would be tricky cause then I'll have to cry myself to sleep everyday, or just date some desperate losers if I could find some @Bluemax
Because I wonder what you would do with your life if you were as ugly as those people in the pics. So what would you do if you were as ugly as those people in the pics?
What would you do with your life if you were as ugly as those people? Would you be content to date the women in those pics? Would you just give up on dating altogether (and all that would follow: giving up on relationships, giving up on marriage, giving up on children, etc.)?
@Bluemax yes i haven't any other option in this situation. but i have never looked down about this people. all people have good and bad point. nobody is excellent.
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