Would you date a home wrecker/cheete?

[ChinaGirl99]

Ok many people would have a problem dating a person who cheated on their ex before.

But lets say you met someone who was basically a homewreacker, at one point before you they knew that they were hooking up with a taken person and didn't care enough about wrecking the relationship and helping the man or woman cheat. Would that bother you?

It would personally bother me.

[Anonymous]

It depends. I've been the other woman before, so I can't really be too harsh in my judgement, but I don't view it as the same as cheating. Cheating to me is the worst, but I wasn't totally innocent either.

I can understand if it bothers people who are interested in me. There's not much I can do about that though, and I wouldn't want anyone pretending to have an openness toward exploring a relationship with me, while secretly harboring negative thoughts about my past. That's a waste of my time and theirs. I think if that's how you feel, you should hold off on dating them or just move on. You don't want to be in a position where you don't feel good about your love interest and they also don't need to be in constant defense of a past decision so early in the relationship. I just can't see that working out.

[Stacyzee]

We all were a lot of things before we became who we are today.
Unless the person was a murderer, rapist or child molester then I'd have a huge problem taking them into my life.
But if at one point they did negative things, and they're a completely different person now, why would I judge them?
People should not be defined by their past but more so, who they become from it.
We're always changing through out life.
No one stays the same.
Why should i judge someone if they have made progress and development?

[ChinaGirl99]

So why can't this apply to a murderer?

[Stacyzee]

You cannot compare someone that took a life, compared to someone that had sex with other people.
Two different ball games.
There's no one size fits all.

[ChinaGirl99]

I'm not saying they are the same thing, but what I am saying is a murder can be a good person later on.

[ChinaGirl99]

murder and rape are 2 different ball games also, 2 different situations but you're comparing those 2?

[ChinaGirl99]

Well I could say you were comparing but more like you were putting it in the same circle, by the way I wasn't comparing. I was just saying that thing of people change can apply to anyone

[Stacyzee]

I know what you are saying.
In fact, I answered your question.
Yes, a murderer can become a good person later on.
But as I said, there's no one size fits all paint brush.
There's no one saying that makes every thing okay for an entire group.
In life, all people do is make exceptions for others.
My exceptions are those who didn't commit one of the most despicable sins.

[Stacyzee]

Giving examples is different than saying apples and oranges are the same.

Lets be clear on that :)

[ChinaGirl99]

I'm not saying you can't make exceptions, every body draws their own lives, I was just saying anyone can be good, thats it. I wasn't disagreeing with your own personal level of comfort

[Stacyzee]

I agree any one can be good.
But however, I'd feel very uncomfortable with a murderer in my life.
Then again you can't group all murderers together... if it was an act of defense then I wouldn't care.
However if the person did it out of hate, or because they were mentally sick It's something that would always be at the back of my mind and make me feel uncomfortable.

[Schrodingerscat]

Yes. It would bother me too. Sure, people make mistakes, they genuinely regret them and try to improve themselves. But these are matters of trust. They have broken it and it'll take a lot of time to get the trust back on them. I mean I can never be fully sure that they would not cheat on me.
I *may* consider it if they have had faithful relationships after this relationship.

[Cosytoasty]

I would be very wary of dating someone like that, but given a long enough time i might.

In that situation it takes two people to cheat, one for knowingly tempting someone and the other for giving in to temptation so it's not all one way traffic.

[ChinaGirl99]

Yeah I know but the problem is the home wrecker is dating me, the other person who cheated isn't so that's why in that situation I'm more concerned about the homewreaker

[ChinaGirl99]

I would feel guilty being invovled with someone knowing I am wreaking the home or family or relationship of that person, I have much empathy for a girl in that shoe. I would never want to hurt a girl like that and a part of me feel if I became a home wrecker then how can I be bad at people who pursue my boyfriend and try to constantly break boundaries.

[Cosytoasty]

Yeah, that's a totally understandable point of view. I used to have very loose boundaries myself (still do a little) when it comes to other women so it's not so black and white for me, because i can understand WHY people do it.

You view is admirable though, its a good honest one.

[ShortCircuit]

Both imply that she has had sex before, which is a deal breaker in and of itself.

[allison13]

I would not date that person. Total turn off for me. If I liked them then found out that they did something like that, my attraction would disappear in a snap.

[Elarra]

I'd give them a chance, though I'd be more reserved. Like I'd take a longer time getting to know them.

[NyomiMcClinton]

I would it depends on how much I have see that the person has changed. But deep down, I will have some suspicion.

[ASEXY]

Nope, I would not date a person regardless of whether or not they were a home wrecker because I'm aromantic/asexual.

[jman46241]

This is not a situation where one knows ahead of time..

[Jager66]

No, I would not be involved with that kind of person.

[Anonymous]

it would super bother me. complete non date material.

[EvilAngel114]

Yes it would bother me

[likitb4istickit]

Date? No. Fuck? Maybe, if she's hot.

[Decentguy]

yes that would bother me a lot

[Anonymous]

No I would absolutely not date someone like that.

[Tonttu]

If it was easy task to cheat than I cheat again.

[Luci92]

Nope. Never.

[dudeman]

I wouldn't date her.

[Anonymous]

It would bother me

[_HimigNgKalayaan_]

Nopers it won't