Are micro aggressions real and if so have you experienced any?

Question

WhiteSteve · Accepted Answer

They’re for sure real. I even have experienced them, but the social dynamic is just different in my case so it’s almost silly to even stress about lmao. But I’ve gotten a slight taste of being the minority in a localized area of a neighborhood I grew up in and being the only one who looks like me (obviously can’t compare to the overall “minority-in-America experience”, but just the aspect of being visibly “different” from everyone else), and, I don’t know, to put it in a more relatable and less dramatic way for the “stop being so sensitive” crowd, just little things would be said, or you’d just clearly feel like you were treated differently, and it’s just kind of a bummer. Like if I was playing sports and made a good play against one of my black neighbors/friends, he’d get mocked extra hard by other black guys, like “ohhhhhh SHIT, you let that whiteboy beat you!!!” And obviously they’re trying to make the other guy feel bad, but how do you think that made me feel? Like I was still overall happy with myself, don’t get me wrong, but there’s just an extra unnecessary feeling of “why is that such a big deal? Do you think I should just be automatically worse at sports than all of you because I’m white?” So I mean, did I cry myself to sleep over it? Of course not. But it just doesn’t feel good when you feel like you don’t fully belong.

Christ, even as a rap fan... and let me clearly preface this, I’m not whining about a very insignificant only-borderline-and-by-strict-definition “microaggression” that originates over a historically ugly macroaggression on steroids... but I can’t say the N-word singing along to so many of my favorite songs, and that SUCKS, lmao, because it just makes it awkward to censor yourself. Like I get it, I’m not challenging it, and obviously “cry me a river” over this atrocious injustice lmfao, but I’m just saying, on a purely conceptual level, that makes me feel more different, at times even with people I consider to be my brothers, than anything else in the course of my lifetime. And that is actually a blessing lmfao, that means life has been pretty easy for ol’ WhiteSteve, but I’m just saying that, truth serum in me, at times in the past as a younger kid that was a bummer for me, as much as I understand why it’s not cool, but I’m just talking that feeling of being that one guy in the room who can’t say it... I can on some level still relate as a white guy to that “not belonging” feeling, when in a very specific and localized situation, it’s just obviously the silliest of concerns, but I feel like maybe other white people reading this might actually hopefully be like “ohhhh, ok, I kinda can understand feeling societally left out if I wasn’t in a white majority situation.” (we don’t have a whole lot else to relate to in this area😂), and it’s a fairly uncommon perspective I’m able to provide, I think. Sorry for having to tiptoe through the tulips with that whole analogy, lmao, but it’s just one of those very sensitive things I want to make sure nobody gets twisted.

But that’s WAY too much about me for this topic, that was supposed to just be a preamble, YIKES, lmfao. Brevity ain’t my thing😂 Onto a better secondhand example, my girlfriend is half Puerto Rican, but she looks unmistakably Latina, and is thus kind of perceived as such in society. She’s very pretty, and she gets complimented constantly for it of course, but a lot it is white people who have to include “you’re so exotic looking!”, or “so what ARE you?”, and in her words, she says “even though it’s well-meaning, it still just makes you feel “other.”” And I think the overall thing with micro aggressions are...

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

no, i think microagrressions are a tool for antifa and other such left wing extremist to make basically "people saying things" something they feel legitimized to use actual violence against.

i mean there is a thing called "being passively aggressive". but that has a very clear intention to irritate and it's a horrible way to communicate generally. but "micro-aggressions" is basically just someone choosing to be butthurt and insinuate aggression, where there was none. so really with micro-aggression, not the person saying it is the problem but the person receiving it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

(Not that I'm very good about bringing it up if someone makes a softcore sexist remark toward me. But I know that not doing that doesn't fix it. So. Take this with a grain of salt. Also sorry there's no TL;DR.)

If someone asks questions that make you feel secondary or like an outsider, best thing you can do is tell or explain to them so they can recognize when they do it in the future and correct.

Most of these don't seem intentionally aggressive (I don't know if you can be unintentionally aggressive) just ignorant or misunderstanding, so they probably just don't realize the implications of what they're saying and if they knew how you took it, wouldn't be a jerk about it.

If they're just a willfully ignorant jerk that never takes criticism tho then they probably don't care if they offend anyone and will just laugh at you and possibly be more aggressive. So of course you'd have to tell from knowing the person what the best course of action would be.

But any way, if they're the problem, then fixing the problem is gonna have to involve confronting them in some way. Alternative is ignore. That's the only options I see anyway, if this does happen to you.

Also people are a lot more receptive to "little talks" if some lighthearted (non-patronizing, obviously, try not to talk down to them that makes people mad) humor is involved or incorporated, because that generally is tension relieving and non-aggressive, so they will be less likely to be defensive, and instead actually listen.

In my experience, anyway.

Jayla2000 · Accepted Answer

Yes it's real.
It's all over this site. With the racial questions asked, or gay questions asked.
It happens all the time.
When they try to make little statements like you have nice hair for a black girl. It's either purposely done to make us feel less attractive than other races.
Or when I'm told you are very smart for a black girl.
Or that i don't talk like I'm black.
Then when we say something about we are said 2 be overreacting, or that we can't just take compliment without making it a racial thing.

Anonymous · Answer

To call them micro-aggressions is to assume that the people who say these things are doing so with bad intent. I can see how these things might be offensive to some, but it seems to me that these are just things that people say because they're curious and are probably actually trying to be nice, and they don't understand that they're being offensive at all.

I'm an English white guy, but I'm not pale white, I'm always slightly tanned or olive skinned. Some people say that I look hispanic or others say that I look Italian/Greek, that I look "foreign". My girlfriend is a pale blue-eyed Irish girl. My son is a little darker like me. If we go anywhere where there are POC, they often ask those questions about me or my son. They want to know where we come from, where we're "really" from. They're not trying to be assholes, they're just curious.

courtney06 · Answer

Yes they are very real. I experience it all the time. If not at me then I’m witnessing it happening to someone else. It sucks when I try to explain to someone and they think I’m overreacting or they are simply indifferent. So now I’m very selective with who I open up to about it.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

"Black" women talk about micro aggressions all the time. I can't say I have noticed or experienced any. But then again, I usually just dismiss folks if they are trying to be racist. I figure if you are so cowardly, you have to express stupid racist opinions in that fashion, you aren't really worth my time.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

If they are statements that the person themselves dont know are aggressions and they require some one else telling them that they are and what they mean, and its so trivial that you call them "micro" then they are not aggressions, they are just weak people bitching and trying to be a victim.

NamerOfStars · Answer

... And people wonder why Al-Qaeda has sympathizers. Bonus points for the first picture demonstrating sexism AND racism, to the extent of using a racial slur, in its push to stir up trouble. Nothing quite like being told that your sex or race makes you so weak that a single offhanded comment can cause you "severe psychological harm".

IAMNathanael · Answer

Sounds stupid to me. These could genuine comments/questions from someone ignorant of that culture. Don't be so offended, just help them understand and explain. These aren't aggressions in the slightest but if you come off as aggressive then you'll put that person off from wanting any more contact with you.

Prof_Don · Answer

As a black American, I can tell you this subtly happens on a regular basis.

That vibe of "I would prefer if you were not here",

to even more intense vibes of "I don't like your kind" and/or "I'm afraid of you" shows in people's body language and facial expressions ALL the time... as in words don't have to be exchanged to demonstrate these racially-charged feelings people have.

Mr_longLegz · Answer

Yes and yes. Some people can tell if they are bugging you and will keep doing it because if YOU say something or do something, depending on what they did and how often you'll look like a clown. Gas lighting is a super common form of this, if a little more forward.

jgirl99 · Answer

HELL YEA THEY ARE. anyone who tells u other wise is an ignorant person. Micro aggressions are far too real and happen far too often

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I have. I use my middle name as my first name since people can never seem to pronounce it correctly, and my middle name is pretty "standard".

I also want to add one: "Why are you here?" I get that a lot, as an immigrant.

OurManFlint · Answer

I mean its definitely real thing, but I think it could help if we considered the context in certain instances.

For example, under no circumstances should an adult EVER pet another human being in anyway regardless of level of curiosity or amount ignorance. That said when it comes to questions, I think it would be wise to extend some grace to folks for some dumb questions within reason.

jasco · Answer

Honestly a lot of microaggressions i face came from black people. Not white people. Black people would always tell me i am not black enough or i act white, or something like that. Most black men call out other black women. White people so far that i know of that usually do that, of course there are some but non that i can recall

DiscomfortZone · Answer

As always, in-fact weakened groups like mental patients and divorced fathers are still absent from the definition offered to the masses. Do you know what that is, besides racism and bigotry? You've guessed it, it's microaggression :) But yeah, I realize you can only be a victim if your sex is non-male and your colour is non-white, thanks to self-victimizing feminazi filth.

TerminallyChill · Answer

Yes. I'm 6'2", and have a football player frame. Old Asian people, white women cross the street all the time at night when I go for my runs. White women have clutched their purse tighter when I am next to them in line or in an enclosed space etc... I'm not the average so I don't really give a fuck though. Low intelligence peasants are going to do low intelligence things, I'm more concerned about the structural, institutional and normative racism we as a people face.

shinnaeun · Answer

People who don't think Mico Aggression is real and those who've never had to experience it.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Quite common when someone doesn't understand the culture

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I agree that the things that the people say here as an example are stupid but to say that this is a big problem make me want to play a sad song for those who think like that on the worlds smallest violin.

I get insulted all the time and there comes a point where you realize that words don’t mean shit unless you let them. If you can’t stand the heat then suck it up or get out of the kitchen.

Orangesareyummy · Answer

I think this is bullshit. I was always very interested in different cultures and never felt bad for asking about heritage. If you’re so ashamed of yourself culture you get pissed when someone asks about it that is YOUR fault.

psychoticanimaIIover · Answer

What’s wrong with “you speak English so well”? Is that not complimentary to someone whose second language is English, regardless of race? The rest are quite obviously offensive.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Of course their real but that’s not a bad thing it just... is. People need to chill the fuck out and not get butt hurt over every word that leave the mouth of a stranger.

Bat-Perv · Answer

A white girl I dated at school was for speaking spainish by an jealous Mexican girl.  She was blonde hated and blue eyed and was ethnically spainish.

Anonymous · Answer

Micro aggressions are proof that real racism is dead and the left needed more shit to use to attack us over.

The following terms/phrases are micro aggressions
White Privilege
Mansplaning
Whitesplaning
Feminism
The Future is Female
Black Lives Matter

Pink2000 · Answer

As a black girl attending a pwi, I can say I have. Being the only black person or person of color in a class of 30-40, it’s bound to happen.

israelisevil · Answer

Micro agressions not real its just ignorance and not being exposed others. It's like a rich person saying homeless people should just get a job it's not a microaggression its optional ignorance.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

By the example you posted, I didn’t know ‘microaggression’ is aggressive. Doesn’t sound aggressive, just curious is all.

Uannoyme · Answer

Another way to make people tiptoe around one another. It's a way to try to make you feel like you're racist when you're not.

Imuglyandiknowit · Answer

oh yeah. being asked if i’m hispanic due to my last name and small splash of melanin. my dad and i were born here, but my grandpa is from puerto rico. like imagine not knowing what the asker’s intentions are.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I've never experience a racial micro aggression, but I have experienced homophobic or transphobic ones

leahzrc · Answer

i can't think of any that are fucked up like the example but microaggression is very common

Holisticapproachsara · Answer

I did I experienced it regard my gender as a female u always get mean comments regard ur sexuality

Anonymous · Answer

Im not sure why so many people are offended by this question but then again the people calling it stupid are white so...

locutus9999 · Answer

no they are not a real thing. I live in a foreign country. I get asked a lot were do I come from... and I find nothing bad about that... indeed were i live is so cold in human interaction, that actually is a plus. cause ice is already broken.

Anonymous · Answer

No, and it's not a big deal you forget quickly about it. People who really feel like it's an aggression must be extremely sensible or attention seeking.

OddBeMe · Answer

I get pissed off by a lot of things. Not sure what makes them micro.

I hate fake patriotism where someone thinks kneeling for the anthem is unpatriotic but then doesn’t give a shit about black inequality.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, people are always saying "White people this and White peopole that. " Minorities don't realize how hypocritical and racist they are.

MCheetah · Answer

No, they're not. That's just called "insecurities" and we all have them.

Not_Average · Answer

No I’m not that sensitive. I focus on things that actually matter in life. Being so easily offended by words seems exhausting

dolidol · Answer

Yes of course they are real. I face that everyday unfortunately.

TadCurious · Answer

Yes! Somebody once asked me "Where are you from?" and I was soooooo offended at being "othered."

goaded · Answer

Yes, they're real. Guess who is expected to deal with anything involving a tool or shit.

R3DthatDude · Answer

Your name is to hard can I call you ___ for short. That’s a popular one lol

Anonymous · Answer

Yes they are and being biracial I’ve dealt with this all my life

es20490446e · Answer

Don't worry, on my country they think I came overseas.

Anonymous · Answer

Not real. If it's intentional then it's what we've always known as passive aggressive. If it's unintentional then it's not real, and it's the "receiver" being a lunatic.

themythos · Answer

I've heard you don't act black before. Its weird to hear but not as racist as other things being said

007kingifrit · Answer

they're not real, even the guy who invented the term said he regrets it and they are being misused. its thought policing is what it is

MountAverage · Answer

Of course they are real. Disliking the term doesn't make the things it describes not exist.

Scholastic · Answer

Yes - talibans, islamists, blacks, online and offline, always attack Christians, anyone decent, anyone weaker.

TheLastLady · Answer

Yes. They come as psychological abuse or emotional manipulation

Waldoe · Answer

its called being "annoyed" get a thicker skin, sometimes being annoyed is all on you...

Nachowedgie · Answer

No, they're just another bs thing the left created to make themselves feel important

Anonymous · Answer

Some of them are real, and yes I've experienced them. They're very unpleasant.

Agape93 · Answer

I think the concept is retarded.

SavageGirl101 · Answer

Micro aggressions are very much real

Anonymous · Answer

This is fucking stupid. Lol

joeldalton · Answer

More nonsense for the outrage theater crowd.

stuntbrain · Answer

I'm offended by the question

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Just more anti-white nonsense.

Anonymous · Answer

people need to stop being so fucking sensitive.

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