What cues or signs might make you wonder if a person is being sincere and genuine with who they are? can you tell if they're a phony?

[Still-alive]

I know some people are good at just detecting insincerity but what signs might make you wonder if they are really who they appear to be or if its all just some act they are putting on?

Here's some here. do you have any others?

[ChrisMaster69]

I think there is a divide between real and online for this.

for example, I know people including me that are simply too loud online (the car forum I’m on is an example, where I am fairly loud but as I am a MoD can’t be that loud, but we have people that really are loud) but when we go to a meet up, they are. Quiet and composed. I am actually worse in real life as I can see the impact of what I’m saying lol.

I did get burnt a bit when I left the Air Force and started working civilian life, in the RAF you can trust a persons word, the same is not true outside of it.

Trust is really i important,

what I do get a lot of, is people trying to be better at things than they actually are, or happy to drop others in the shit.

My managers all know that they are umbrellas for their teams and are not to finger point to a team member, if their team fucks up, they take the flak.

I did have a problem with some that were to quick to blame someone else, they are no long part of my teams.

[Still-alive]

Its true online im also ‘louder’ than i am elsewhere

[TurboKid]

What I've come to favor are very assertive people, even if I strongly disagree with them. They can be somewhat on the rude and crude and unfiltered side at times, but what you see (and hear) is what you get.

The very agreeable types start to raise my suspicions because surely they disagree with at least something I say (especially since I'm a chatterbox and spill out ideas, including crazy ones, all over the place). It's like do they actually agree with me or are they just kissing my ass? I've found with girls I dated in the past who were like this, they were just kissing my ass. Their true opinions started to surface within just weeks or a couple of months of dating.

So I actually have a fondness for at least the slightly rude and crude and unfiltered. There's a genuineness to it.

[TurboKid]

Of course, I don't like anything taken to the extremities. My most genuine friends and people I've known can have that unfiltered side but they at least know to avoid making jokes at a funeral, for example. They do have some basic level of sensitivity.

[TurboKid]

I had a close friend who passed away a year and a half ago but we disagreed so strongly with each other on so many topics that we'd almost want to fight each other outside. But especially when he passed away, I realized he was one of my best friends because he never kissed my ass. We both knew exactly where we stood, and we had a lot of fun with each other.

[TurboKid]

With that said, he was a bit flaky at times. He was kind of an unreliable friend, saying he'd show up somewhere and arriving late or not at all. Some people might consider that a very bad type of friend. But it was easy to understand exactly how he thought and why, and I prioritize that quality of really feeling like I know a person over their reliability (ideally I would like to have both, but it's rare I meet people who are genuine in every aspect).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Insincere/phony
Insincere compliments... Agreeing with everything you say instead of challenging you if they disagree (albeit doing so respectfully)...
That over the top trying to hard fake charm that becomes easy to see through...
sincere/genuinewhen they tell you the truth over those little white lies...
When They show genuine interest or concern without expecting anything in return
When they're upfront enough to be themselves their real selves with you

[Still-alive]

“ When They show genuine interest or concern without expecting anything in return”

Yes this is something I've come to learn more of. Giving way more than getting in return.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If you freely give, others freely give in return sometimes.. not because they have to but because they want to

[devilish-cutie]

its all abot vibe and gut feeling, if someone makes you feel some type of way its not for no reason even if there appears to be no rational reason. People that look at you too lonog in the eyes when talking, when they are vague, avoid to answer, there is tension or they become verbally agressive... I don't know really a lot of reason but mostly how someone makes you feel and what they are saying is not being accurate, like their words dont follow their actions

[Still-alive]

Good answer. One of those im curious about is you mentioned tension. So what might suddenly give you that feeling while talking to them?

[devilish-cutie]

if they dont try to maintain the conversation and go silent leave you hanging, dont ask you nothing, dont share... that type of people i consider rude and possibly selfish

[crazyish]

I seriously can't decipher genuine people from fake people overall. I only figure it out the hard way. I believe it's because I have a hard time trusting my gut instinct. I feel it but I have a hard time deciding that someone is just a fake person. I don't know, I'm weird and probably need to work on that.

[Still-alive]

Hard to believe anyone would ever deceive you. Theyd have to be all kinds of messed up for that.

[crazyish]

I'm an easy target to take advantage of for any fake person. Too naive and trusting maybe? I don't know if it's a bad thing considering it makes me who I am but it also opens me up to those not so nice individuals. Thanks hun but you'd be surprised lol.

[Still-alive]

Yeah stuff like that does make m a little mad reading it. But oh well i guess. :/

[crazyish]

That's because you have a big heart and care about others😊 but it's life. And It's partly my own fault.

[Still-alive]

*hugs* 🤗

[menina]

Yes, I usually can tell if they're being fake. If they take their time to listen to me and to try to help me, I assume that they're being sincere.

[Still-alive]

What are the signs for you though that would tell you they aren't sincere though?

[menina]

If they smile too much, if they're always trying to compliment you. If they enjoy bringing other people down so they feel good about themselves. If they give you pats on the back or try to hug you constantly.

[Still-alive]

I see yes you have good points there

[menina]

I'm glad you agree.

[SandandWaves]

I know what fake people are. from the fake people list, I do not understand what number 13, and number 14 means

[Still-alive]

13: Back handed compliments are the kinds that may sound like a compliment but when you really think about it they are really criticizing you in disguise. they aren't being up front with you about what they think

14: embarrassing you in front of others. they don't have your back and just humiliate you in front of everyone for kicks or out of spite... just a dick move all around

[SandandWaves]

Thank You for Explaining. I appreciate it. May you give me examples of number 13? I still don't really Unerstand.

[Still-alive]

something like that... its a little harder to detect but this "compliment" tries to hide what they are really saying here. that they are not all that attractive.. only from far away.

[SandandWaves]

Perfect. I get it now. Thanks

[Ez-Bri-Z]

I generally have a gut instinct for which is which, my problem is I still try to be friends with both and end up regretting it. I respect honesty more than anything else though.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ez-bri-z I can be a bit too brutally honest

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Brutally honest is fine too. I married a woman who has absolutely no filter and her stuff comes across brutal too.

[ChrisMaster69]

@ez-bri-z I do have my soft and fluffy side, but I like being hard

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Mrow 😼😽

[ChrisMaster69]

@ez-bri-z.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Lmao its cute but he and I dont do that... yet 😉

[PaynefulPleasures]

Fact or fake I'd rather be around people who are a matter of fact then people who are a matter of fake & falseness
Usually I can tell if someone is genuine or not but in this day & age it's hard to tell ✌️

[loves2learn]

Ugh. I used to work for some fake people. It was bad. 😒

[PeacefulRainDrop]

I can read facial expressions almost feel if its real or forced

[exitseven]

When times are bad you really know who your real friends are.

[Viciously84]

If they look into your eyes or away is a good sign.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most of the people I've met are fake like that.

[Still-alive]

What tends to give you that impression?

[TheSpaceGnome]

they do a lot if whats on that list

[TheSpaceGnome]

a lot of*

[Still-alive]

Like what for example? Like facial cues are off? Odd inflections in the persons voice?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, but also:
1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 15, 16, 18, 20. on your list.

[Still-alive]

Ok cool thanks

[TheSpaceGnome]

dunno about cool, it actually sucks lol, but you're welcome i guess lol

[Still-alive]

Well i mean it is a useful skill to have being able to sense insincerity and all.

[karaspara]

If their lips move

[Still-alive]

This is true my lips dont move at all. Guess im pretty genuine!

[karaspara]

Coolio

[Still-alive]

Agent Smith asks Neo "What good is a phone call if you are unable to speak?"

[karaspara]

Make it count

[Anonymous]

Some of those signs can be indicators of autism.