How can people say they care about equality when they let black people get away with using words they would have given a white person shit for using?

Like say a white English speaking person use the Spanish word for black or a very similar sounding word. Or other very similar words. He would never hear the end of it until he has lost is job, us utterly humiliated and dead. But if a black person were to use one of those word, most likely little to no complaints unless he has other unpopular opinions. So my question is. How is this equality? Are there any words white people can use that would be problematic if used by black people for example?
How can people say they care about equality when they let black people get away with using words they would have given a white person shit for using?
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