Why do I love to dance but 99% of the guys hate it?

Question

I absolutely love to dance and I couldn't imagine having a boyfriend who doesn't like to. it kind of sucks if you live in the northern hemisphere, because most guys here don't like to dance :( even if I know they like me and I ask them to dance with me, they 'll say they can't dance. why don't they try for god's sake?!

I mean I don't expect them to remember steps, just to be able to move to the music (and somewhat in rhythm with me please, so we don't bump into each other all the time :) )

seriously guys, is that so hard for you?

and are any other girls in love with guys who can dance?

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

1) It's usually bump and grind stuff, which is awkward; I had a platonic girl friend who was engaged to a buddy; I actually got out to the floor, and she practically started dry humping me in less than 10 seconds... I'm almost felt dirty about it. Almost felt like cheating.

2) If you don't know how to do whatever dance, as stupid looking as it may be, people can be really nasty about it if you don't do it . I was the second worst dancer in a group of friends, but luckily didn't get as much nasty remarks as a friend who was (luckily) worse than me. He was a laughing stock and didn't even know it; I'm thinking this could very well be how women talk about me to their friends when I'm not around. I already apparently give girls enough fodder without even trying. Why add to it?

3) Many girls assume, incorrectly, that the way guy dances is how he is "in bed." If I get out there to dance and I am BAD at it, then it's assumed that "other" skills) must be terrible, and most girls aren't interested in having a guy learn either; he's expected to be a pro first time out. Publicly humiliating myself by dancing badly is practically telling any woman that I'm going to be terrible at... other things, if it gets to that point. Nothing says "I'm clueless about dating" (ie making a woman happy) to a girl than a bad dancer.

4) Girls have freaked out if I even compliment them. I just put my arm around the shoulder of a "friend" and she had a fit. I'm certainly not going to be groping them on the dance floor; even slow dancing is awkward because it elevates a non relationship situation to a kind of familiarity usually reserved for close relationships; staring into the eyes, hands on hips or b.

5) For the past two years, due to injury, I've been unable to be on my feet or dance for very long.

6) It takes a lot of skill just to start. I've taken some dance lessons for beginners that were WAY too advanced for me. It's usually taught too fast; so it's like playing "Simon." But with THIS version of Simon, you just keep playing and it keeps getting faster and faster when you didn't master the game you just lost, and there's no time to learn from the mistake.

You screw up and everyone sees it.

You mess up, and you can't start the music over, you just have to keep trying to keep up, which is tough because you're trying to think out the dance steps and get caught up to everyone else, so you're wildly inventing stuff just to catch up, and you're always a step or more behind. Then you're expected to keep "running" through this fast paced song, and then get new (more difficult) moves for the next song, and keep going. At the end of 2 songs, I'm done, because it's usually way too complex.

There's an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry is forced to go dancing with his girlfriend of the week... he sums up dancing pretty well:

Keri: Ready to go?

Jerry: All set. I can't believe I'm going dancing.

Keri: You don't go that often?

Jerry: No, because it's so stupid.

WeaponZero · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's that guys hate dancing. It's more that the type of music that gets girls dancing isn't the type that gets guys "dancing." Dancing is nothing more than listening to music that impacts you in an emotional manner that makes your body want to respond to the emotional stimuli by moving to the music. However, the music that gets men wanting to move along with it, in most cases, doesn't really inspire the same emotions as in women. Men respond more to very aggressive music that touches more on negative emotions (rock, aggressive hiphop/rap, metal, etc) so, in turn, what they call "dancing" ends up being more like random body movements that could be seen as violent or aggressive in nature (how crunking was born, etc, a dance style that's basically nothing more than choreographed fighting to a beat).

So when men dance with women to the music that makes women want to dance (club music, etc), it ends up being forced because men don't really *feel* the music in most cases. Many men would rather not even attempt it than *fake* it.

In other words, women "dance" to sensual music that makes their body want to move in a manner, hence grinding and stuff like that, while men "dance" to aggressive music that makes their body move in more violent and random manners. Simply how we respond to different emotional stimuli.

Men can dance. Just not what women call dancing, because we don't respond to that same emotional stimuli from that type of music.

Standingpretty · Accepted Answer

I kind of feel the same way. The only dancing I can get a guy to do is slow dancing.

jayrex · Answer

I love to dance! I can dance with no alcohol in my system in a room full of people.

I must admit I didn't like to dance until I was like 18, and what got me started was three American girls who were dancers, grabbed me, and dragged me onto the dancefloor, which was empty, and everyone else was just staring at me, dancing with two left feet. It was embarrassing at the time, but it was what brought me out of my shell.

And from the looks of all the reaction below, 99% of the guys are just going to say no to you.

Not me babes :)

PatrickRory · Answer

because we get embarassed, I don't want to look like a total dweeb in front of a cute girl even though it happens regardless. Most people don't want to try and yeah its understandable to an extent but I mean give it your best shot. I used to be HORRIBLE at dancing but at my exgirlfriends family parties they would all be dancing so I learned how to dance to spanish music and I realized its really not difficult if you give it a genuine effort. I mean I still suck at dancing but maybe they just don't want to look like a fool, me included. The difference between guys and girls with this one is that we don't know how to dance so we don't but girls, regardless if they can dance or not, will just dance.

I think its a great icebreaker kind of, she grabs your hand and wants to dance with you so you say, "i never learned how to dance, can you teach me?" As long as you try then I feel in her eyes, you're golden.

blueyaa · Answer

What you have to do is just grab them by the hand, pull them onto the dance floor and place their hands on you hips and you start dancing. They'll either start dancing with you and be a little embarrassed at first, or they'll just stand there and look like an idiot, either way not your fault. Also, I love dancing, I can't wait for the next time I get to bring my best friend to a club this winter, she blows my mind.

Musical546 · Answer

um. yeah. its not like we don't want to- I would love to dance, but its more of the physically don't know how to and unable to thing. and most guys are the same way. and they are straight out tell you...

john5246 · Answer

Guys don't dance, it's very "gayish". Just grind on him, that's mostly all you're gonna get out of guy. Trust me, most of them can dance but it's just not appropriate, it's not a freakin dance movie like Step-up or w/e.

Dancing is a girls thing, you guys look good doing it, just like cooking is a girls thing.

statlor · Answer

is your question why don't we like it or why aren't we good at it? big difference. most girls always say stuff like 'oh just try it, it doesn't matter if you're no good' and then complain when were no good. I for one like dancing but know I suck at it and always will, I wish I could be better but that's the way it is. And I feel like this is most guy take on it: dancing is fun because your with a girl, but embarrassing myself isn't

Swenzor · Answer

Because some of us just don't like to dance?

I'm horrible at it, I tend to lose my balance quite often and I feel uncomfortable overall to "shake it".

Can't find the rhythm at all, and just feel plain bad at a jackass.

I reckon there are a fair share of dancing guys out there, but they are at dance clubs then, are they not?

Seems logical considering if you like to dance you'd go to such a place.

Maybe you've just been to bad places, perhaps try new dance clubs in new cities.

sixstring · Answer

Well I tried to dance at a wedding last week. I was slow dancing with my stepsister, she kept bitching that I had to move my hips without my shoulders (which I see as completely impossible) and she just gave up halfway. I tried swinging with my sister and she stopped me after 15 seconds.

So yeah if they don't even give me a chance, what am I supposed to think when I ask a girl I dón't know to dance.

randomdude33 · Answer

i don't know about anyone else, but I would love to dance any type of dance I could lear. samba, ballroom, whatever I could do except tap because I would fall down and laugh too much

sixstring · Answer

Yeah, but I'd be afraid she'll think it's a turn-off.

DanceKing123 · Answer

I love dancing and go out the vast majority of Friday and/or Saturday night on there for every dance and get lots of compliments on my dancing skillls , usually the only or very few guys packed with lots of girls

JensonStatement · Answer

I LOVE DANCING AND I ain't GAY (please don't bully me)!

sixstring · Answer

I don't hate to dance, I just suck at it.

Ezmotts · Answer

I can't dance at all.

Why do I love to dance but 99% of the guys hate it?

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