
I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something
Something I can use
People love it when you lose
They love dirty laundry

Well, I could've been an actor
But I wound up here
I just have to look good
I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around

We got the bubble headed
Bleached blonde
Comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash
With a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation
Is the head dead yet
You know the boys in the newsroom
Got a running bet
Get the widow on the set
We need dirty laundry

Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers
In everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it's said and done
We haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry

Reporter: Is the border secure?
Kamala: Let me be perfectly clear, vote for me.
Reporter: But is the border secure?
Kamala: Trump vodka was shit, I should know.
Reporter: Are terrorists entering the country?
Kamala: Every moment in time, is a moment that exists in the present in which we experience the moment in which we exist in the present.
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