Do women really understand how men feel in this world?

[HawkPerception]

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Yes

No

[DishLady]

I mean… it’s really difficult to know what ANYONE is truly feeling in this world. But when folks with conflicting priorities meet up (e. g., a guy and a gal at a party/event/shop/wherever) there’s a chance they click on some level right away (or not…game over).


Let’s say they do click and level up to hanging out and they continue feeling they’re on the same wavelength, perhaps a bit of attraction starts to simmer (or not…game over).


Let’s say the simmer starts to escalate (texting, calling, getting into each other’s business)…. AND SUDDENLY… something in one of their conversations triggers the other. Without warning messages start lagging. Convos are cut short, etc.


WHY? Countless guys and gals will go nuts trying to figure it out. Bottom line is that once communication shuts down there’s no magical way to know what the other person is thinking. They’re either mature enough to express themselves or they’re not. (This applies to both the guys and the gals.)


Regarding triggers, it’s interesting. A guy I used to go out with would constantly tell me I reminded him of his ex (his former fiancée, who apparently broke things off super abruptly because she didn’t want to sit still and work while he travelled everywhere). I told him it wasn’t fair to compare me to someone I don’t know and will never meet bc I have no idea what he did or didn’t like about her.


He said he liked EVERYTHING about her, but she didn’t want to be “stuck home” with his mom while he did whatever he wanted. (A few weeks later I met the guy’s mom… No comment, but I knew why the gal ran back to her little island, you know?)


Anyway. They couldn’t see one another’s perspectives and it created a rift they tagged as being travel/schedule related. But it was a super basic communication breakdown. She could have done with him, for example, at least for their first year. But they split.


Similarly, another traveling guy met a gal who was perfect for him right after breaking up with some other gal who just wanted a sugar daddy. They hit it of REALLY well for months before he suddenly shut down. WHY? Instead of communicating clearly that he was still dealing with trauma or transitioning through a difficult work-life issue he just clammed up and redirected his efforts to assessing and analyzing the new gal to figure out what her glitch was… and when he couldn’t find one he freaked out and broke up with her.


No one should be expected to be a mind reader. Just be direct, open and honest and understanding will follow. It may not always be perfect but it’s better than the toxic alternative of keeping everything bottled up and missing out on what couple be really terrific relationships!

[DishLady]

(Sorry for the typos… *gone with him (not done) and *could be (not couple be) my autocorrect is wackadoo sometimes. 😂) Thanks for MHO!

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Probably not, since I'm not a man. But I've heard enough horror stories from people in my life to have a great deal of empathy for some guys. :(

I watched the video. That's a reality for many guys. Please don't be offended by the religious reference, but I pray for my own son and his future as a man. I pray I can teach him the skills he needs to process his emotional pain and overcome adversity. I do everything in my power to learn how to engage with him in healthy ways. I don't want him to be a "mama's boy", but I do want him to understand that having tenderness and empathy is not a weakness in men. Only deeply hurt people believe that because they don't know any other way to survive. It requires greater strength to show compassion in the face of ridicule than to put all our feelings in a vault. Locking down feelings is a reaction, processing them is a skill.

The thing I wish is that men could create safe havens for other men to be emotional and to practice healthy emotional responses. I know that probably sounds like a girl response, but the closest relationships guys have are generally with guys they have been through hell with. Guys who have seen them at their breaking point and still called them brother. Those relationships are far deeper and richer than most romantic relationships, I suspect. I've witnessed a few friendships between men that are like that and it's a privilege to see. There's nothing sexual about it; it's friendship on a powerful and deep level. If all men could have that kind of healthy connection, it's my belief that a lot of the negativity and apathy would have less power in their lives.

I say all that, but again, I'm not a man. I'm open to feedback if there's anything here that is not on track. :)

[Summeroflove]

It depends most men and most women are good people who are wired differently. There wre those dark personalities without and empathy or remorse. There are those dark empaths too but that’s another story.

Every man and every woman is different too. It’s about finding the right person whose right for you. Find someone who is nurturing and loving. Not only you will thank you…. But your future kids as well. Trust me

[RavVid]

Understanding requires caring as a precursor I'd suggest. Not convinced women care about men or men cared about women anymore.

[Dargil]

No and they never have. It has always been about their feelz.