Does “respect your elders” still make sense when elders abuse power?

[Vesuvius87]

I don't doubt it must've been a great teaching at some point long ago.

Then many of those in authority would abuse their position. Some even would go ahead and mistreat the younger person but hey as long as they were elders, nothing happens. Then parents that scream and slap you for any argument gone wrong get shocked when you react too, ignoring you're also a human that can already be having a terrible day and getting assaulted can make things even worse.

I think respecting your elder (provided that they're loving and respectful too) was meaningful when those didn't abuse their power. Not anymore. What do you think?

[PeachyPie93]

I respect my elders.. obviously not to my own detriment but like I talk nicely to them, I would give up my seat, or help them if needed. I see waay too many punk ass kids being rude asf just walking down the street, and I tell you straight if a kid or teen fucks with me he will be sorted out and so will his whore of a mother. It used to be ingrained into kids heads and now that its not, you see the disrespect widely. Like a month ago a stupid bitch and her kids were taking up the whole alleyway and the son (around 10) stops in front of me with an arrogant look like I need to move and squish past them so I pushed him out of my way into his mom and said fucking move.. they both looked shocked but I didn't give af no little punk should be behaving that way to strangers and let alone his whore mother not reprimanding him for it. I swear society is on the fast track to criminal and retard behavior.

[Vesuvius87]

Helping them when needed and applying basic courtesy is different than going out of your way with being nice and giving them unlimited respect even when they're acting like jerks.
Personally I'll be teaching my son mutual respect, to treat others (young, elder, etc) the way he wants to be treated. If an elder has been rude first then he can ignore them by then. If the elder then complains about that, then I would just state my son has my permission to ignore you.

[PeachyPie93]

That isn't what respecting your elders mean. No one says if someone is rude asf to you or pushes boundaries, that you need to take it. It just means give someone older than you common courtesy and if they are fragile you take extra care with them. Also if you get in trouble by a teacher or someone in power you should take the criticism and learn something not talk back and act arrogant as long as they are trying to teach you something and not belittling you. I teach my kids to be aware of adults and don't act cocky with them and as the old golden rule used to be... Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But if someone hits you, make sure you hit them harder.

[Agape93]

Nope. Respect is earned and being old doesn't cut it

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. I hate it when elders demand respect but don't treat you with the same respect.

[jshm2]

LOL, grow up.

The term doesn't mean what you think it means. That "elder" could have just come out of a life sentence from prison, he could be a bum, or he could be any number of negatives that are to your detriment.,

What is actually being implied is that you not be ageist. In much the same vein you're told not to be sexist or racist.

Hence it's actually saying "don't be ageist" but a lot of people would take exception to the wording and think they are being accused of it.

[Vesuvius87]

Respecting your elders is already an ageist statement. It's already putting people with more age and experience worthy of unconditional, unlimited respect. This leaves an open area towards those that can and have abused their position of authority in the past. Too many stories of people raised with parents or teachers using fear-based compliance were authoritarians; awful examples of abuse of power. Why do you think more of us are raising our children with fair rights and logical consequences, not fear-based?
If an adult were to verbally threatened my son with a slap even as a joke (if he was 5-8 years old), he would have my permission to inform them he'll call the cops in return.

[Vesuvius87]

I don't care what that older person's life was like. They don't get to be all imposing and then demand respect if they aren't respectful themselves.
I apply fair respect to all (regardless of experience or age) initially until they're rude first.

[OneViewpoint]

You're reading way too much into a simple expression. All it means is have respect for people with more life experience and consider their advice, be kind to the elderly, etc. It does not mean you need to be submissive to every 65 year old loudmouthed bully with a low social IQ.

[Zack-Bann]

Respect the respectful is a much better way to do it.
Elder or not.

[Vesuvius87]

Even better. My son will learn to respect whoever Is respectful.

[OneViewpoint]

Respect is earned. Always. Respect is never an entitlement of age, race, parentage, wealth, education, or anything but demonstrated worthiness.

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly but sadly several entitled people have hidden behind the "older than you" or "I'm your parent" card. They really think that just because they're in authority they can say whatever they want in harsh tones and even dish it out but expect the young person to tolerate it all and remain calm while they're not. Cowards

[OneViewpoint]

So you laugh at them and walk away. Leave them screaming into the wind.

[Vesuvius87]

Yup, walking away is the best option.

[strateguy632]

still must. but if they are physical violent that is a crime. so report them. and respectfully visit them in prison.

[Vesuvius87]

Yeah we don't have to take it and be their punching bag. I believe in verbally standing up for myself and applying logical consequences.
Some of those elders really expected respect even if they were irrational or aggressive and can be shocked or feel hurt that we can report them. They literally expected no consequences at all and us younger people to just forget it and act like nothing happened. That was unfair.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

As others have said, i highly believe that respect is earned, not given no matter their age or position in life. I am not going to demand that younger generations of people respect me just because I am pushing 50. I don't even expect it from my kids. I believe in mutual respect. I do expect them to listen to me, but respect is a little different.

If someone older is acting like an ass, then they deserve to be treated like one.

[Vesuvius87]

That's exactly how I'm raising my 15 month-old son. I had enough of the old school ''elders first, respect them''. We both respect each other. I agree it should be mutual respect.

I'll teach my son that if an elder is rude to him, he can ignore them.

[Anonymous]

It still must be earned. Some old people are the absolute worst people ever. Surviving more years than other people doesn't automatically mean you earned it.

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. I always hated how being older was used as an excuse to disregard the younger person's rights to be treated fairly.

[DonaldDarko]

In a way I guess. I respect George Soros for knowing things and being extremely experienced at what he does. I'd listen to what he had to say. Doesn't mean I should chase hookers drink till I pass out or what ever else he's done.

[Vesuvius87]

It's good to respect them for positive things and ignore the negative behaviors.

[slatyb]

It never made much sense. Younger people should understand that older people may know some things they don't, but no one is automatically entitled to respect.

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. It's interesting how many generations kept buying that garbage until someone like me had enough of the abuse of power.

[jahaims]

Respect is earned not passively given based on age.

[Alex-Snow]

I respect elders that only earn that respect

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. That's how it should've always been.

[NathanDavis]

I've respectfully put people in their place before, yes

it can be done

[TonyMetal___1986]

Nope, when you respect your elders, they need to respect you too...

[Vesuvius87]

What about when it's the elders being rude from the start or abusing their power when you have done nothing?

[TonyMetal___1986]

Don't listen to them, just ignore them if you can...

[Vesuvius87]

I agree with that one. The issue I have is when some elders really demand respect and for us to go out of our way of giving them special treatment even when they are rude, irrational and get hurt when we walk away or ignore them. They want to act rude but expect us to just forget it, like nothing happened.

[TonyMetal___1986]

Right 👍🏻

[Iron_Man]

I’m not gonna fight an old man I can be arrested unless he’s coming at me

[Vesuvius87]

That's obvious. Yeah I would just walk away from confrontational, rude old people. I would simply ignore them and if they complain, tell them they're unworthy of special treatment beyond basic courtesy.

[Iron_Man]

Yes..

[Badtobad]

Depending on the actions and circumstances. Hard to say

[Vesuvius87]

The reason to this is because over the years they have abused their position of authority. Parents that uses the excuse that they're your parents and so therefore can scream and slap you whenever the heck they feel like as long as there aren't (and even do it with a level of entitlement) are full of garbage.

[loveslongnails]

Respect your elders is no different than respecting anyone else, is it?

[Vesuvius87]

yeah but the old school garbage kept putting the elders in first place, as someone privileged. Younger people never got treated the same with respect.

[Vesuvius87]

It should really be mutual respect, treating others how you want to be treated.

[loveslongnails]

The "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" generally works, unless you're a sadist or a masochist. LOL

[Cidknee]

Wait a few years and ponder this question. You're looking at 40. Get you a dose of it and see what you think about it.

[MrChinaski]

I respect people that deserve my respect.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes it still makes sense. You can still be respectful and not take someone's mess

[msc545]

It makes no sense whatsoever.

[canamlusciouslad73]

H**L to the NO !!! F**K 'EM !!!

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. I had enough of older adults abusing their power and thinking the can talk to young folks in whatever tone they want to because of you being in authority.

[MasterKS]

No its not.

[Vesuvius87]

True. It never did.