Is there a point where ''respect your elders'' have a limit?

Question

I want to educate my son that respect is actually a two-way street. I believe respect isn't magically given just because you're older. It was to be reciprocal.

What if there are older people that are disrespectful no matter how polite you (someone much younger) are? Is there a point where someone can call them out on their rudeness too? Is there a limit to the ''respect your elders'' saying.

I'm sure there are elders out there that have taken advantage of their position as older people (just like there are bad parents out there who mistreat their children) and think they can talk and treat you however they want too. That would be abuse of power. What do you think? What if an elder was rude to you, would you still be respectful just because you were taught to respect your elders?'

Mynameisbobby · Accepted Answer

Definitely it has a limit. My mother abused me when I was little. People told me I should respect her just because she was my mother, I don't think so!! Why would I respect her when she didn't respect me? Just because someone is older doesn't mean they deserve your respect. If someone treats me with respect I will treat them with respect.

jahaims · Accepted Answer

Obviously, being alive for a long time doesn't command respect. Respect is earned

DonaldDarko · Answer

There are a lot of people like that. I remember the world war 2 generation. They caused trouble where ever they went, they made boomers look like saints. The 90s was the last of them for any practical purpose. I wouldn't really want to go back to the 70s because of those assholes. That and cigarette smoke everywhere nastiest smelling shit, weed smoke is nothing by comparison. Those morons turned the inside of their lungs, the things they use to breathe and not suffocate into chambers of soot like the inside of a wood stove. I watched one of them after another gasping in doctors offices begging for help "call Dr so and so" I , I can't breathe, George Floyd breathed better than they did in their latter years. When they were young they strutted around acting tough with a dirty cigarette hanging out of the corner of their mouth like they knew everything. Then they shriveled and aged and "Dr, hurry" LOL. Huge swaths of my generation died like flies too but it was from drugs. Same stupid shit mentality, those stupid 70s bands playing that screeching sleazy bull shit. Big rock stars with their long dirty looking hair slyly alluding to how cool illegal drugs were in their music. Kids in school that were into that were usually assholes. They grew up to be bigger assholes addicted to meth or some other stupid drug they took. Then the drugs plowed them under the dirt. No one remembers their how cool their cars or their music was supposed to be. Some of that stuff is still sitting around and still looking stupid af. It's dented up, rusted out and the proud and drugged up owners long dead, blown away in the wind like nothing. Their whole world blown away, rusted away. There legacy being they were cool and sleazy and on drugs like the cool rock stars they listened too. So, older people , yeah we know things it's worth listening to what we say but we can be huge assholes and losers at the same time. Often we know what we know because we acted stupid and life literally beat the living shit out of us. Be careful of something else too, there are people who don't want you listening to older people because we know and remember things that actually were good. We knew what a woman was, and a million other truths they want to hide from you. They know they can get young people to listen to stupid shit that no older person would ever believe, they did it to us too back then. They're nobodies friends and they mean harm.

Staximus · Answer

Definitely. Somebody's age doesn't matter if they don't treat you respect. When I was 14, my aunt (who was my dad's older sister) told me to put a box of rocks and Driftwood she collected from the beach into her trailer. She didn't ask me, she told me like I was her servant. I was not accustomed to being spoken to like that because my parents never talked to me like that, so I asked her why can't she do it herself. She said "because I told you too do it" I said "but you can do it yourself" and she screamed at me and said "I'll hit you and make you bleed!" I laughed in her face because I was not scared, and said "you better not hit me" and walked away. I did plenty of chores for my parents but they never talked to me like I was their servant. I told my dad and he told her "don't tell my kids to do shit, they're not your servants". When he was young she used to boss him around and make him act like her servant, so he put his foot down and said that's not happening again.

serious · Answer

Yes, of course. There is a limit. However, it is up to the younger person to determine their own limit in regards to this.

1. "What if there are older people that are disrespectful no matter how polite you (someone much younger) are? Is there a point where someone can call them out on their rudeness too? Is there a limit to the ''respect your elders'' saying."

Yes, of course there is a limit when the younger person should not tolerate.

2. "I'm sure there are elders out there that have taken advantage of their position as older people (just like there are bad parents out there who mistreat their children) and think they can talk and treat you however they want too. That would be abuse of power. What do you think? "

Yes, of course there are elders who do this and it is very cheap and as you said it is abuse of power.

3. "What if an elder was rude to you, would you still be respectful just because you were taught to respect your elders?'"

Yes, what the younger person can do is ignore them and be indifferent to them.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I believe that you’re conflating courtesy with respect.
Most children who are at the appropriate age range to be learning about courtesy and respect have in no way accomplished anything in life deserving of the kind of respect that his or her elders has accomplished. There’s not even a debate there. It’s just a simple fact. The only people who argue that deserve no respect because they’re just trying to justify being rude, entitled jerks.
Courtesy is something different. You don’t have to know anything about a person to treat them with common courtesy. That’s just how a civilized society functions. Once they do or say something to justify rescinding courtesy, then you stop treating them with courtesy, but you don’t need to disrespect someone even if they disrespected you. A WW2 vet can say all manner if sh*t to my face and i still owe him the respect he earned by risking his life and livelihood in service of our country. That doesn’t mean that i need to coddle him or even accept the abuse. I can choose to not associate with a grumpy old fart who refuses to demonstrate common courtesy and/or the respect i have earned in my lifetime.
Learn to be the bigger person and teach your kid to do the same. Respect IS a two-way street, but not everyone deserves the same amount of respect.

Screenwriter · Answer

Respect should usually be earned. It is deferred to older people because, there is the assumption that they have wisdom, experience and some level of tolerance and kindness.

But if someone has none of these traits and simply thinks they should lord it over you, it is wise on your part to keep your distance from them to protect yourself from hurt and harm.

MrChinaski · Answer

I don't respect people for being old. Listening to their life experiences and the wisdom they have distilled, rather than dismissing it as irrelevant to the modern age, is a skill i would enourage.

There are good or bad, wide and dumb, people of all ages. I don't think elders are any different. They do become rigid in their thinking, on average. And for many, their true selves manifest more strongly in social interactions as they let down the public facade they have carried through life... which may turn out to be that they are, deep down, very good, very evil, or any place in between.

purplepoppy · Answer

Idiots grow old just like the rest of us, as do the rude and arrogant. Many young people see and achieve more in a year than oldies have in their whole life.

But it's worth remembering they were raised in a different era, educated for a different world by teachers and parents who already had dated beliefs. Someone born in the 60s was raised by people from the 40s who was still carrying the scars of his 1920s upbringing.

That old man doesn't understand why you identify as a lettuce because he's an idiot, or that it's wrong to call your boyfriend Sambo, his brain was programmed at a different time to survive in a world that doesn't exist anymore.

a_gallant_one · Answer

Very good way of thinking. Thank you for your post. This is something I think about quite often. Everyone should be kind and respectful to eachother, no matter the age, and just because someone is older doesn't mean they're wiser, better behaved or that they should be privileged. I am recovering from brain surgery and I've seen many disrespectful, self-centred old people who are in a way better condition than i am currently, but they simply don't care. They act like they the only people on the planet.

NathanDavis · Answer

respect itself, has a limit

it has to make sense

to respect someone doesn't mean you would allow them to step on you or anything like that, it doesn't mean you can stand up for yourself or defend yourself and this has it's limitations as well

so, I think you should show children how to measure themselves, others, and all these interactions as well... critical thinking and a more proper balance to see where the tilt is

UrLoveMocha · Answer

I can’t speak for anyone else, only for myself. But I do believe there’s a limit, because respect is earned, not just given. At the same time, I feel like everyone deserves a basic level of respect from the start, until they show you otherwise.

NessaEssa · Answer

Yes things change if they aren't respectful. Sometimes elderly people forget. You sometimes have to remind them. I tried to help and elderly woman at the store once. She was really rude yelling and saying she didn't need my help. I called her out on it and she told me that I was right and she apologized with a hug.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes and no. Does love ever have a limit? Not really. And what I mean by that is this is the Bible's 5th commandment. Regardless of how your enemies treat you you're supposed to love them. So technically speaking regardless of how your parents or elders are you are supposed to respect them, even after death. I would say respect for your elders doesn't mean you have to have deep, deep respect for them. But you should always maintain a modicum of respect for them kind of as a rule. Think of it less as respecting them and more as respecting God's order of things.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You need to respect everyone when they deserve it. Unfortunately, some individuals forgo this right due to their miserable and bitter attitudes, and older people often exhibit this behaviour the most.

Mike_Hum · Answer

I don't think you're teaching your son the right way. You can't control other people. He's responsible for his behavior. If he's respectful to people regardless of their actions, then that's him being the better person. If you're being a dickhead because you think someone else is being a dickhead, you're no better.

Berethor · Answer

Respect your elders is the default, of course if they abuse him then he not going to like them.

uzumymw · Answer

You only need to respect elders when they deserve that respect. If they are being rude or taking advantage of being an elder, they haven't earned the right to be respected

Lauleneke · Answer

I am one of those elders lol and I was raised to be polite but my family I was also raised that first impression is everything I am polite to you right off the bat as I show respect but when someone gets right in my face respect is out the window but if respect is shown we will get along well from then on

strateguy632 · Answer

A. Yes it doesn't mean obey do whatever they say. B, no it is not two way nor condition if, we must respect everyone.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Oh yeah. I don’t owe an old fool any respect, just because he is an elder.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Everything has a limit.

Hulk30 · Answer

yea because it's a character thing but simultaneously it's also gonna come with intense and Petty Pushback

Apulu_backagain · Answer

You're absolutely right.

888theGreat · Answer

those like Trump that sex up kids should not be respected

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

For sure… not all elders are respectable

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Yes there is. Invasion of space.

AviatorTom · Answer

Respect does not always mean believe them.

Bowserforever · Answer

It's an antiquated concept already

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

S*xual or other physical assualt.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Is there a point where ''respect your elders'' have a limit?

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