Why do guys hold girls at arms length?

[Anonymous]

Have you ever dated or "saw" someone who seemed mysterious. Like, they randomly texted you and hung out with you once a week at most. you feel like you're on the outside of their life yet they are fully with you..when they're with you. other than that you have no idea what they are doing. they seem a bit unavailable when you need them but they pop up here and there. They are like phantoms in a way, keeping you at a distance for some reason. What ended up happening? did the mystery ever end?

[lolfreddy]

Yes, living the mistery. girls seem to dig that sometimes.

I honestly don't like doing that lol. I preffer hanging out with you and keeping in touch if I like you.

And It depends on the girl, the guy can keep playing that card for a while just to see how she reacts. I say embrace it and just relax, at least he's not hurting you :P

[NMMan]

Some guys feel that being mysterious is far better for their dating chances, as opposed to being overly available and perceived as "clingy" - the lesser of two evils, one might say.

[Asker]

True but could there be deeper reasons?

[NMMan]

The only other reasons I could think of are that they want to take things slowly, or they don't want to commit too much early on. If that stuff happens later on in a relationship, then they're definitely commitment-phobic.