Are Submissive Men truly the outcasts of Society?

[Anonymous]

It recently occurred to me that there is overwhelming evidence suggesting men who are not "alpha' or domineering in their ways (as in, generally submissive) do not see much success at all in today's dating culture.

On the other hand, women can have it both ways. If you are assertive, you get what you want. If you are submissive, it's okay because you are portrayed as feminine and society accepts that.

But to be a guy who is a bit of a loner and maybe doesn't have the courage to approach girls he likes (which would be perfectly acceptable if he were female) is a social death sentence. That guy is seen as the wounded stray. At that point, the guy might as well forget about finding love. Women prefer guys who have status. Why else would they desire men who are ALREADY IN RELATIONSHIPS? As for the "wounded stray"? Tough luck, you don't get to reproduce because nobody wants you.

Do you agree? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

I disagree. Sure some women when they are young want a dominant man but after they get screwed over by these guys they learn the value of a guy who doesn't want to control and dominate her.

My boyfriend is definitely not the dominant type and he has me and there are plenty of guys who wish they could be in his shoes. One is even trying to break us up. It's my boyfriends passiveness that is so much a part of his appeal.

Most women who like a guy in a relationship like him because he is desirable, looks and personality, not because he is in a relationship. Most won't pursue it though because most have standards and that includes a guy needing to be single.

I agree that it's not fair that more girls don't feel comfortable approaching but I think that is changing as more and more become brave and lead the way showing the others that it is OK.

[Asker]

Can you describe his passiveness? What makes him so passive?

[xzinax2]

i can't agree cause most of the guys I've been in love with could be described as guys who are too scared to talk to girls,i've liked some assertive guys,but they're not a preference. the problem is-when you're a girl,you can't really approach guys without it being incredibly awkward for the whole of society,and when two people who are scared of even thinking about being assertive that are in love with each other-well you've just got a pile of bitterness and loneliness.

[Asker]

I agree. There are countless potential relationships that could have been amazing had someone spoken up. But in the end those precious words never leave your lips and life goes on.

The most compatible people never end up together because of this.

[Anonymous]

I know I'm not really interested in submissive men. I don't want a guy who I feel I'm stronger than. He'd come across as weak and unmanly to me. Sorry I'm not interested. Maybe some other woman would want him but I know he wouldn't fit my personality.

[handsomejackk]

NOT necessarily.

A big fat chunk of the consumer economy is driven by men throwing money away in an attempt to get laid. For some men, it's even their main motivation for having a job, or at least a half decent source of income. Point is, if all men suddenly stopped caring about getting laid, Great Depression II could officially be declared.

Secondly, when women get older, they start to run out of options. It is at this point that they decide to "settle". Who do they "settle" with? What better option than a pu$$y starved beta male with a steady job who has almost written himself off!

Therefore submissive men do play an important part in today's ecosystem. But important doesn't mean great. If you ask me it's time for the skinny, pathetic Atlas to shrug.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

I agree. Submissive men are generally less desired than assertive guys. Add to the fact that submissive men are less likely to be promoted on a job or considered for leadership roles of any kind. I think most women want a balance of dominance and submissiveness, but more times than not, dominance is above all preferred. Women want a guy that will defend them and make there over all life secure, as opposed to her guy being timid or passive. I believe that most girls that grew up with a strong male figures in her life would much prefer an assertive man to build a life with.

[Anonymous]

I agree, and approve.

Social skills are EASY to pick up. Children of 3 do it every year in creches and kindergarten schools all over the world.

A grown man who has the undeveloped social skills of a 2 year old, is sad.

But a grown man who won't bother to acquire the skills that a 3 year old can, is PATHETIC.

[Asker]

Not all children of 3 are social.

[Opinion Owner]

I never said they were. Stop trying to find excuses for pathetic behavior .

[luzianne555]

Social skills are not easy at all for introverts to pick up. Though, I do find that odd, as introverts on average have a higher IQ over extroverts.

[Asker]

Condescending Belgie making rash judgements about others. Nothing new. I'll take it with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because young women are idiots.

Once you're 30 you'll have all the women you could want coming to you.

[Anonymous]

apparently it seems like that, girls have higher standards

[ImperfectDVM]

No, not at all. Well not to me.

I love them!

[jaybee994]

ohh thank you thank you hehehe

[Anonymous]

Submissive are undesirable