How to tell the difference between a girl showing disinterest and playing "hard to get"?

[asdaven]

So your talking to a girl for a month or two...everything is going great...everything's headed towards a relationship and then all of sudden she stops responding and completely cuts you off at this point you got two options. Step up your game and pursue harder or cut your losses and move on. every time this happens it leaves me wondering If I made the right choice. What was the real reason she cut me off. And there's really 3 reasons for this:

A. she's playing hard to get. She wants you to chase harder.

B. She decided she's not into you anymore. Time to back off.

C. She gave up because you took too long to make a move.

But, problem is reasons a, b, and c all result in the same situation. So how do you know when a girl is just playing hard to get and want you to chase harder? Or if she's not interested and wants you to stop talking to her? I've made both mistakes of either rejecting (cutting off a girl because I thought she was not interested) a girl who was interested but playing hard to get and chasing harder a girl was uninterested. When a girl stops talking to me I really don't know what to do. Of course maybe the best policy is to cut them all off that do that because I don't like games especially the hard to get games for this very reason. Somebody on here asks or complain about a girl who has stopped talking to them and half of the answers say man up and chase her more and the other half say cut her off she's uninterested.

Updates

+1 y

See trouble is there's all these internet sites and magazines saying play hard to get . So either a girl plays hard to get because she is misinformed and think she has to or she likes to play games. I don't want a girl who likes games but if she's just misinformed id like to give her a chance. I myself have gotten confused and played hard to get with girls and it failed. Basically trying to act like I can get any girl to make myself look desirable. But other people are like you need to chase her.

[yopyopyop]

If she cut you off, take your loss and find someone else.

After a few days (or a couple of weeks at most) of chatting, the date question must be raised.

Otherwise, it starts to become a stalled situation, and one person makes a reason and thinks it's no use. Probably what happened here.

The playing hard to get case is more something that happens in real life (as opposed to internet flirting).

So maybe recontact her in a few days, if you really think it's needed, and ask her how she's been and all, but be prepared to receive a cold answer, if any.

[yopyopyop]

@Update : They can only play hard to get if you let them. If she's alone to play, she'll stop playing pretty fast.

[asdaven]

Very good point. But then what if in doing so...she thinks you lost interest. I've had women who stopped talking to me then turn around and say I stopped talking to them when theyre not aware of their own behavior or are playing a counter-move to me shutting them down when they try to play hard to get.

[yopyopyop]

I don't believe in that. Of course, you'll always find a proverbial birdy-brained example once in a while, but usually those are more candid excuses: they perfectly know that they went too far in the ignoring/not seeing game, and yet won't admit it. Those were asking why you didn't let them keep playing hard to get.

[asdaven]

So what is one to do in the case? Call them out on it? For me personally, hard to get is a turn off. At the same time I don't want a girl that's too easy cause that tends to indicate she's involved with a bunch of guys. But purposely trying to be hard to get is a big turn off for me.

[yopyopyop]

Well it seems that you spent too long chatting without acting. If it was me, I'd cut my losses and move on. But I'm not you. See for yourself.

[lumos]

What you really need to ask yourself is if you actually want someone who plays immature games like that. Does it really matter if she did it because she's not interested or because she wants to play hard to get? In both cases she's being immature - she's not being upfront about her intentions. Communication is very important. Who's to say she won't continue with these games when she's in a relationship?

I say cut your losses every time.

[Anonymous]

sounds similar to my question

link

i decided to move on because he confused me alot.pl let me know do you resemble the same character and wats on your mind?

[asdaven]

Yeah I read that. I ve met girls like that too. Its a shame in that type of situation ...you don't know what couldve happened. Maybe your giving him mixed signals? Because the only time. Might act like that is when I don't know how a girl likes me. So I discreetly show her subtle affection, so it doesn't creep her out if she only likes me as friend.

[Opinion Owner]

i lost my courage to give him signals..he always let me down.ya he was being a good friend,often took me for granted as well..but again..y would you compare and make your friend feel jealous about some other girl..its not always fair..

[Anonymous]

Always cut your losses and move on.

Girls need to learn that playing hard to get is stupid.