Search Results: why can''t i be happy

Imagine your life is a movie, and you're the main character because it's your life. Are you a protagonist who is a hero, anti-hero, or villain? Why?

If you're wondering about me:It's me hi, I'm the problem, it's me. I think I'd be the anti-hero and no, it's not just because I'm a Taylor Swift fan. I think at the core, I'm the kind of person who always tries to do the right thing, but, sometimes when I'm a little too in my feelings I can become reckless and selfish and act irrationally because I feel bad, and that creates damage I only see after the damage has been done. Why I'd not class myself as a villain is because usually after I see the damage I've done, I will try to fix it and own up to my mistake, and I feel a villain would just take the completely selfish route and ruin things because if they can't be happy nobody can, whereas I still may not be happy but once I'm back to rationality I'm like: "Okay I did something bad, how can I fix this?" Also I tend to have a lot self-sabotaging qualities that I'm completely aware of, but for the most part indulge in anyway and often I do little to change but I'm trying to change that now, I just can't expect it to happen overnight. In the past my thought process was more: "I'm destructing myself, not anyone else, so why should I care? It's just me." But that's an incredibly toxic mindset to have and I'm trying to change because I have a lot of potential to do well, but because of my self-destructive tendencies that potential often just stays potential. But I will change don't worry.

Anyway enough about me, what about you?

For starters, im single dammit *eye roll* lol i wanna be happy because i knew i deserved better, but im mad at myself because i still love him but know its 100% over now. I ruined us for good. I was strong and broke up with him that afternoon after getting fed up. Then that night we talked, he played dumb and asked if i recalled what happened earlier. So i played dumb in return and pretended as if we never broke up. He got pissed and i turned all “delusional” and kept telling him he was still my boyfriend. I stooped to his level and had a very childish moment. But whatever, he's done with me now so its for the best. My friends tagteamed me and lectured me for getting weak all of a sudden and going out with a bang as the “crazy” girlfriend. Smh. But anyways today im feeling ok. They also told me how no guy these days will want a girl who doesn't have a car/not trying to learn to drive. So theyre prob right but i just wanted to ask y'all. I mean my boyfriend and guys before him didn't have a car but i still wanted and loved them. So it kinda sucks that guys these days apparently may not want me. #FeelFreeToList #DudeWheresMyCar