My take on why I think I am lonely and maybe a lot of you are too

If you want you can google "loneliness pandemic" and a bunch of articles will pop up.

So lonely, cant sleep.
So lonely, can't sleep.

If you google "statistics of loneliness" a bunch of more articles will pop up.

I was listening to a podcast called "all my friends are not ok" and she talked about loneliness.

There was a TED talk about loneliness, and how not having friends makes you unhealthy, as compared to smoking 10 cigs a day. I don't smoke by the way.

So why am I lonely? My mother brainwashed me to believe that everyone hates me, and I walk around thinking people don't care about me and want me dead. Then they'll be happy. My mom treats me this way still. In the past it was worse, and she used to physically beat me up and locked me out of the house for many days without food. It really sucked. It just kind of locked in to my head, and my fear helps me to avoid people and not talk to anyone. Everything I say or do just annoys and irritates people to death and they secretly just want to use me and kill me like my mom did. That's why I am lonely as hell. I don't share these thoughts with anyone. No one really knows the real me. Except you, reader. But I don't really know you so that's ok.

As for the rest of the population, I think they are lonely due to some kind of mental wiring that they got from childhood, just like the Netflix show "YOU" with Penn Badgley. There's imperfect people raising these kids, with imperfect love or you could say hate. The hate breeds fear, and fear breads wanting to hide and or be by yourself to avoid a bunch of hurt. Similar to my situation. By the way, Penn's character Joe was NOT lonely in the show, but secretly he could not build "healthy" relationships. I'm sort of in the same boat.

I am not saying all people are like this. There's only a certain percentage that are lonely like me, and maybe it is you and you're trying to figure it out so you are not so lonely. Well, I just want to say that you are not alone. I'm trying too. Don't give up hope. Maybe your best friend will be around the corner in a few days. Who knows.

For those of you who are not lonely. I am so glad you are not. It is healthy for you to have deep and very meaningful connections with others.

Thanks for reading! and I wish you all well.

My take on why I think I am lonely and maybe a lot of you are too
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