Ahh 2018... I had hoped you would be better (at least movie wise) than 2017, I was wrong. I cant' say I'm looking forward to too much in the next year but most of my hopes died with the Justice League. This is a small list of movies that I think will butcher their story lines just like The League did. To be fair I did leave off a few out of a glimmer of hope I have for them. Again these are only the top 12 I'm not looking forward too. So if I don't mention a film feel free to add it below. (Trailers where available.)
1. Pacific Rim Uprising
Sequel to 2012's Pacific Rim. The original film centers on a defense force consisting of mechas, giant robots and their human pilots, who are fighting to save humanity from gigantic monsters invading from an other-worldly dimension.
Why it will suck: Six years after the first film is too long of a wait and John Boyega as a lead actor seems forced. (No puns please) This movie is most likely to be a "Power Ranger-esk" type movie and robots of any kind are no longer a big draw at the box office from what I've seen. The lack of cameos by the original cast may signal it's downfall that much faster.
2. Fifty Shades Freed
Believing they have left behind shadowy figures from their past, newlyweds Christian and Ana fully embrace an inextricable connection and shared life of luxury. But just as she steps into her role as Mrs. Grey and he relaxes into an unfamiliar stability, new threats could jeopardize their happy ending before it even begins.
Why it will suck: Because Hollywood has already failed twice to bring these books to life. First with casting and secondly with trying to make a main stream porn-like film. Best case it will be a like trying to have sex while drunk on Whiskey. A lot of fumbling, some passing out in the middle of it and no climax. In other words welcome to Basic Instinct 3!
3. A Wrinkle in time
Follows Meg Murry (Storm Reid), a young girl traumatized by the disappearance of her scientist father (Pine) years before. She finds herself on an interplanetary journey with a schoolmate and her younger brother to find her father. They are aided by a trio of supernatural beings: Mrs. Whatsit (Witherspoon), Mrs. Who (Kaling) and Mrs. Which (Oprah).
Why it will suck: Oprah and Witherspoon are box office killers. Oprah most of all. Discounting those to cast members this movie might play well for kids and tweens but the extensive CGI looks like the main star of the film. Naturally meaning lack of character development and loss of story will follow.
4. Rampage
Primatologist Davis Okoye (The Rock), a man who keeps people at a distance, shares an unshakable bond with George, the extraordinarily intelligent, silver-back gorilla who has been in his care since birth. But a rogue genetic experiment gone awry transforms this gentle ape into a raging monster. To make matters worse, it’s soon discovered there are other similarly altered alpha predators. As these newly created monsters tear across North America, destroying everything in their path, Okoye teams with a discredited genetic engineer to secure an antidote, fighting his way through an ever-changing battlefield, not only to halt a global catastrophe but to save the fearsome creature that was once his friend.
Why it will suck: Rampage was an idiotic video game to begin with and it had a horrible ending so don't expect anything good coming from the movie version. This will go down as another failed Godzilla type film with Baywatch type acting.
5. Overboard
The story will focus on a spoiled playboy from one of Mexico’s wealthiest families (Eugenio Derbez) who falls overboard off his yacht. He’s then convinced by a single, working-class mom (Anna Faris) that he’s her husband.
Why it will suck: It won't play to this generation like it did in the original 80's version. The update just seems like a dim-witted honey trap of a film. But the positive is... never mind I got nothing.
6. Solo: A Star Wars Story
The movie will explore the duo’s adventures before the events of Star Wars: A New Hope, including their early encounters with that other card-playing rogue from a galaxy far, far away, Lando Calrissian.
Why it will suck: Disney... just STOP! Lucas' Prequels were bad enough but Disney just cares about toy sales so I'm sure it will feature some unknown "cute" thing to boost those sales. Let's not even mention that the new actors look nothing like Han or Lando.
7. Ocean's 8
Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock) attempts to pull off the heist of the century at New York City’s star-studded annual Met Gala. Her first stop is to assemble the perfect crew: Lou (Cate Blanchett); Nine Ball (Rihanna); Amita (Mindy Kaling); Constance (Awkwafina); Rose (Helena Bonham Carter); Daphne Kluger (Anne Hathaway); and Tammy (Sarah Paulson).
Why it will suck: Did we even ask for this! Can't we find an original story for a kick-ass female buddy-buddy flick? And why put Rihanna in it! She can't act. Or do you need a Battleship reminder?
8. The Predator
An ex-Marine discovers the existence of fierce aliens but finds that no one believes they exist. (A sequel to the '87 original.)
Why it will suck: This was supposed to be a outright reboot which would've been good for the Franchise as a whole. But oh no, Shane Black had to make it another crappy sequel. Personally, I don't think the Olivia Munn or Thomas Jane can save this would be flop. Especially with Keegan-Michael Key thrown in.
9. Scarface
An outsider, an immigrant barges his way into the criminal establishment in pursuit of a twisted version of the American dream, becoming a kingpin through a campaign of ruthlessness and violent ambition. Staring Diego Luna (Who?) as Tony Montana.
Why it will suck: It's literally set to "blend" both the '32 and '83 versions into one film that's set in L.A.. In other words very little new and nobody close to Pacino's acting talents is in it. Which should be the only Red Flag you need to not watch it.
10. Robin Hood
The story will center on Robin Hood being a war-hardened crusader and joining with a Moorish commander in an audacious revolt against the corrupt English crown. Staring Taron Egeron as Robin and Jamie Foxx as Little John.
Why it will suck: As if we need another retelling of Robin Hood so soon after the Ridley Scott muck up of Robin Hood. I heard the original title of this was Robin Hood: Up Schit's Creek. As much as like Jamie Foxx and Taron Egeron this just seems like another King Arthur: Legend of the Sword tragedy in the making.
11. Mortal Engines
Thousands of years after civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic event, humankind has adapted and a new way of living has evolved. Gigantic moving cities now roam the Earth, ruthlessly preying upon smaller traction towns. Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan)—who hails from a Lower Tier of the great traction city of London—finds himself fighting for his own survival after he encounters the dangerous fugitive Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar). Two opposites, whose paths should never have crossed, forge an unlikely alliance that is destined to change the course of the future.
Why it will suck: Peter Jackson LOVES CGI way too much! Nobody wants to see Wild Wild West 2. Or a Futurama style walking city full of one dimensional Lobster like rulers. Seriously Pete, just go and find another Hobbit film to mess up. I mean can you even tell what this film is about from the trailer or description?
12. Mary Poppins Returns
Set in Depression-era London of the 1930s, Mary Poppins Returns sees Michael and Jane Banks (Whishaw and Mortimer) now grown up. After Michael suffers a personal loss, Mary Poppins re-enters the lives of the Banks family and, along with the street lamplighter Jack (Miranda), uses her unique magical skills to help the family rediscover the joy and wonder missing in their lives.
Why it will suck: "Let's go Fly a Kite!" Life is crap but a singing Nanny solves everything...Not! Let's hope they at least leave out the animated penguins. Why are you subjecting us to these craptacular sequels Disney!
Now I was gonna mention one other movie but I'm hoping the ensembleness of X-Men might down play Sophie Turner's acting ability. Or maybe she'll stop taking acting lessons from Kristen Stewart. Anyways that's the list. Do you agree? If not, What Movie do you think will bomb in 2018?
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