Why do some partners obsess over constant cleaning and chores so much?

[Finchie40]

Don’t get me wrong , I like having a clean home but it isn’t my top priority every second of the day I am also ok if things aren’t done right away , I don’t focus my life around constantly cleaning the house like some girls’ I been with did , like the only thing that made her happy is cleaning , if she c’s me sitting down it was like the worst thing ever and she would be like dishes need done , counters need wiped laundry needs folded blah blah blah , like cleaning is the first thing that is on her mind , I realized I can not be in a relationship with a girl that is like that anymore , that holds cleaning as the top priority, cleaning should be something we do when it’s convenient for us not the other way around. I like girls’ that can relax and not worry about things like that all the time , I rather spend quality time with my partner over doing the dishes or folding laundry , my ex would always bitch at me for not cleaning something the second i woke up and made myself some coffee , to the point I got sick of it and started saying if it’s that important to you , is your hands broken? Do it yourself then , why yell at me about it

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship chaos so you don’t date the same red flags in a different body 😏

Some people use cleaning as control, anxiety management, or even identity. A spotless home = “I’m safe, I’m worthy.” So when you relax, they see “lazy,” not “normal.”

Your values clash: you prioritize connection, she prioritizes control and order. That’s not a small mismatch. It becomes nagging, resentment, and low-key emotional draining.

You’re right to walk away. You need a woman who can let a mug sit in the sink and still kiss you like you’re the main event, not the mess.

[sage2021]

Well, I couldn't live with a guy who is a complete slob either, but the guy doesn't seem to let it bother him even though it drives his girl crazy.

I think that it's time that you give more on this one. After all, why should cleaning only happen on YOUR schedule? This is one of those things that you are going to have to meet her half way on. You aren't the boss after all!

[usernameobvious]

@Finchie40 Blame toxic past relationships they may have had - or a difficulty upbringing. Some women are carrying baggage 🛅 that becomes excessive schedules chores hell

[genericname85]

cause some like cleanliness more than others. that's all it is.

[Kvass]

Because it’s better than living like a filthy pig, lol. Unless you're a obsessed germaphobe, being clean and tidy is fine. I always clean my kitchen right after I cook, putting things off is too lazy for me

[_Jenny_]

@Finchie40 men should help women clean up and wash dishes

[_Jenny_]

@Finchie40 Women will naturally NAG you if you’re just sitting around watching the World Cup on your television

[NoDecision]

@_jenny_ Does that mean women should help with yard work and home repairs then? I think both should chip in, no matter what it's for. Yep, even sex.

[_Jenny_]

@NoDecision No, most women don’t know about repairing stuff, at least I don’t know anything about repair.

[Finchie40]

I do clean up , but I don’t make it my first priority when I wake up in the morning to have coffee , my ex acted like the second I woke up I should be cleaning the whole house immediately, which blew
My mind , like my life was based on her watch. Like how dare I have coffee before cleaning the dishes , or how dare I house
The bathroom before vacuuming the floors , so now that she is no longer in my life , I finally feel at peace again and I do not want to end up with a girl like her ever again , I want a girl that wants to wake up and have coffee with me in the mornings , I want a girl that when I come home from work wants to be in my arms , not worrying about cleaning up a house immediately. My ex acted like the President was going to show up at our home at any given time on how she went nuts over things not done , I would look at her and say are
Your hands broken , if it’s that important to you why can’t you do it instead of acting
Like I am your slave. If you want something done immediately do it yourself , she always made an excuse so I started making excuses as well

[Finchie40]

Use not house the bathroom lol , also the other thing she did was the second she had to go to work and I was off that day , she would point out all these things that she wanted done , , she couldn’t just accept the fact that I was off from work and she wasn’t so before she left for work she would walk around the house and point out things that she wanted done and giving me a list before she left for work , like I was her maid on her watch , which use to piss me off big time , because all the days she didn’t have work , I never gave her a list of things to be done , and she barely lifted a finger and expected me to come home from work and start cleaning immediately, the girl is mentally fucked in the head and I feel bad for whichever guy falls for her shit , she needs shock therapy or some shit. So I swore to myself I will never be in a relationship with a girl like her ever again , and yes I do clean and I do yard work and fix things but on my watch , not hers’ if she came up to me in a respectful manner and said Greg can you please wash the dishes , I would say yes no problem at all, but when someone is yelling at you to do it on their watch , it’s like Go Fuck yourself

[_Jenny_]

@Finchie40 yes I agree you should have breakfast before anything else

[Finchie40]

Exactly , but not the way she looked at it , she acted like it was the end of the world of things weren’t done immediately on her watch. The girl is mental and toxic big time , I never waited for her to wake up and immediately said laundry needs folded or dishes need done immediately, that shit never ever crossed my mind , so why she thought it was ok to do to me , just blows my mind. Then she would make comments that she needs to be with a man that actually cares about what she wants , I said then go find your slave and good luck with that shit , because I will find me a girl that doesn’t keep me on her watch and a score card

[Badtobad]

Some people are like that. I know some personally. I can't explain it

[robocop666]

get pro cleaners to do that. its great.