If a guy is split between two girls? What should he do?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend want to get back together but he is starting to have feelings for the other even if he said he just wants them to be friends.

[Roarke]

It can vary from couple to couple..
Twice in my youth i had solid relationships with stable girls, you know... good grades, solid family foundation, conscience (though both could be naughty) and direction in life.

During each i also met another girl. One time it was a free-spirit, the kind who'd do a cartwheel in the grass for no reason, smoked (which i did not mind but showed a tendency to be rebellious), never took anything but so seriously and had wavy long hair that always looked like a gentle breeze was blowing through it.

The next time it was a contentious girl who had identity issues but somehow reminded me of myself. Pretty enough, but there was always this challenging glare in her eye, like she was ready for me to piss her off, which naturally i did.

Neither case went sexual, but in retrospect it seems i was using each to somehow balance out my emotional life. This didn't mean anything was lacking in anyone, but more that it's very difficult to find a partner that meets all our needs.

[Realistic07]

what do you mean by get back together i mean you say he's your boyfriend, i ask this not as a way to poke at you but if he is still with you then he yours that means if he is having feelings for another woman you two should probably break up. If he is not with you then he is your ex and has the freedom to do as he chooses. again i ask because depending on witch it is gives me the ability to answer your question properly. So witch is he is he your ex or are you and him currently in a relationship?

[Asker]

we got back together recently but now he is telling me that he is getting confused on his decision. :(

[Realistic07]

o okay see now i can answer. Well if you are together and he says he may be developing feelings for another woman then you have to ask yourself do you want someone in your life that has feelings for another. the other question is if he may be happier with the other woman. remember he is your friend as well not just your boy friend, so if a friend said to you that they would be happy with someone else than who they are with then you may tell your friend to not date one and explore the possibility of being happier with someone else. the question is will he be happier well that is something to ask him. I suggest you sit him down and talk about it ask him if he thinks he would be happier with the other woman if he says yes then break up and know that it will be hard but if he is your friend then you will let him explore the possibility of being happier. That being said it would still suck, but at least it would be something that you both mutually agree on and not a case of him cheating now

[Realistic07]

that would really be wrong. At least he is bringing to your attention his feelings witch is something women wish they at least had before the man cheated so they could talk and figure out what is best for both of them. you have that situation now that you have to talk to him and either stay together and try to make it work or let him go and try to move on.

[Realistic07]

and i say women but men wish that they had that to. I have dealt with the same situation in the past and we sat and talked and we decided to split now she is with a man that she is happy with that i told her to be with and we are still friends. If she had cheated then we may not be friends.

[Realistic07]

that's how you preserve the friendship and avoid the conflict of cheating by talking about it.

[Asker]

well I did my best talking to him about it (on the phone) and this is what he said to me "he loves me but he is starting to like her" (the other one). He kept apologising to me because he didn't want me to get hurt. I told him its alright with me (cause I had that situation before) and i told him that I'm here to help you but now, he is still confused in who to pick (me or her). What do i do? Should I just wait for him to respond?

[Asker]

We just got back together yesterday and then today, he started having troubles in his mind and thats where we had to talk. I told him, its normal to feel that since he had a rebound relationship. Right now, I'm giving his space cause I know he's confused in all

[Realistic07]

Well first of it's best to talk about these things in person but sometimes i get that it can't be avoided talking things out on the phone. Honestly breaking up may be the best option. You have to remember he may just not have been ready to officially be in a relationship again he may be in the mentality that he wants to date around for a bit and that's fine. What would you like to happen and do you think he is ready to be in a relationship yet?

[Asker]

When we got back together, he was so happy to be with me again as in we were back from who we were as a couple and he loved it. Then he told me his consciousness was bothering him and he kept saying sorry to me, for me it sounded like he didn't want to hurt her since we got back together. The worst part was that I only know about his situation, the other girl that he is starting to have feelings for doesn't know. I honestly don't know what to do :(

[Realistic07]

then here are the options stay with him or leave in cases like this i like to leave it to faith and flip a coin then i make my choice and stick with what ever comes of it. So pick one even without knowing what will happen just pick then you can handle what comes of it.

[Asker]

Alright! Thank you so much for all the advices :)

[Realistic07]

your welcome.

[QueenNikki]

I would ask myself "what would Archie Andrew?" Haha on a serious note, I think you all are already screwed, there is damage that can't be undone, things that can't be forgotten. Unless you want to risk heart break then its time to move on, I mean do you really want to be with someone you know is probably thinking of someone else? Don't be selfish and make decisions that are unfair, you need to protect yourself. Even if he choses you, this will nag at you, its best if u move on to clean and fresh slate, becuz the situation in ur is anything but clean. Someone is going to get hurt, better if its not you. He already knows how its like to ve with you, so if he choses you then there are chances that "what if" thoughts of the other girl will consume him.

[Asker]

what if that girl that he is starting to have feelings was a rebound like for 3 weeks. what do i do?

[QueenNikki]

Knowing her for 3 weeks and being with her for 3 weeks are two different things. If they were together every single day of those 3 weeks then im sure he wouldn't be confused. If they hooked up a few times a week it doesn't neccesarilly mean he knows what it would like to be in a relationship with her, he only has an idea of what it would be like and its that idea that has him torn. I still think you should get out, this is a mess.

[PianoChopinCharmaine]

He should stop making both you hanging and make a clear decision.

[Scrambled]

Im split between two women. My wife and my mistress. I will tell you this, I am still with my mistress because I also wanted to "just be friends" and it turned to something else. Now I am stuck in a seriously bad situation that is not going to end well for somebody.

[QueenNikki]

Aww you suck :( when your wife finds out she will be so damaged. Congrats

[Asker]

How are you dealing with this situation if i may ask?

[Scrambled]

She already knows. When it happened, I told her. You see... either way my wife will get hurt. I either cheat on her, or I divorce her and see what happens. I could also say goodbye to the other lady and be unhappy in my marriage. We seeing a counselor but truth be told, its not working for either party.

[Scrambled]

In honesty, MEN need to man up. Yes, I am torn between two women. I don't want to divorce my gorgeous wife (who does so much for me) but I am also emotionally attached to the other girl. The other is more like me in every way and we do so well together. I am really in a situation. I honestly wish I never met either of them. Tequila is helping me at the moment:)

[KandleGuii2]

I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, After Hearing That iStrongly Suggest You Not Renewing Your Relationship With Him, TRUST ME, It Will Turn Into A Love Triangle If He isn't Willing To Give Her Up, Just Move On & Find Another Man That doesn't Have Feelings For Another Women...

[DodgersGM]

I'd probably choose neither one and find someone completely new.

Most guys will probably pick the newest girl that he's started to like.

[Forca]

I would choose the girl I hadn't been in a relationship with. The way I see it is that the ex had her chance and it just didn't work out and it probably never will, so I'd give the 'friend' a shot.

[Anonymous]

He may play you both and move onto someone completely different.

[Cómoestás]

Let them be friends but not in a relationship