Why does a guy keep coming back?

[Anonymous]

After he has made it clear that he does not want a relationship and you do want one so you know its not gonna work out talking anymore because you want more and he knows this but comes back after months of not hearing from him, you ignoring him a few times before, he texts things like I wanna see you but he doesn't make extra efforts to make that happen, then texts weeks later with small talk then months and months go by and you get a text from him at night and he tells you that he went out with a new girl last night but all he could think about is you and that he misses you. So you call him to see what that was about and he tells you that the girl was so boring and he remembers how much fun we had when we go out. Sounds like he wishes it was me, right? He keeps coming back with stuff like this but does not show me how he feels. You miss me? then why don't I get calls from you or why don't you pursue me? Its confusing cause before, I use to chase him and wanted to be with him full time but he didn't want that but then he says things like this after so long of moving on? He says these things but he doesn't show me nothing and I've told him this but he acts like he don't know how to show me. huh? Are you serious? maybe flowers if you miss me...or take me out to dinner...call me, something to show what you say in those texts. So guys why you think he keeps coming back?

[Anonymous]

Girl, I'm in the same predicament. All I can say is that if he isn' t pursuing... don't chase after him what ever you do. My boy texted me 3 months down the road after we went our separate ways. He acted like nothing was wrong and he missed me like crazy. But when it boiled down to it. Well, he still wasn't ready for a relationship. A month later I decided to become friends with him again. However, I'm still iffy and confused about it too. I'm not going to chase him though. Don't pour your heart in it just to get burned again. Best of luck to you :) maybe our situations will both work out for the best.

[Anonymous]

maybe he likes the whole fact that he has or had a girl chasing him. a lot of guys like the fact that they can have some one but they can also have some one whose interested on the side just in case. kind of like a rebound girl. he's not willing to chase but he wants to be chased by some one else. and if he honestly cares or misses you like he says he would go out of the way and make it clear to you. BS if he says he doesn't know how to show it or can't because of what ever reason. its a bunch of lies he would find ways to make it clear to you. or he could be trying to make you jealous.

[Nestzz]

i thik you already have the right idea. yeah! if he want you back he must make a move! persue you right?! I think he acting like "i want what I can't have". I know guys have feeling. but if they can have something so easy, that something can be easily boring real soon! play hard to get! if he don't make effort now, in the relationship he won't make any effort too!

[Asker]

Are you saying that I bored him? No, hon. I broke it off cause I got tired of it not going anywhere and seeing that no matter what I did, he still did not want a relationship. I just do not think he is that into me but he say these things that contradicts what he does which is nothing.

[Nestzz]

Hmmm... who say girl is every hard to understand?! the boy too right?!!>.< I dun understand them too!

[mrsvincenoir]

Because you let him.

He can go out and play the field and see if the grass is greener,and if it isn't he can come back to you with little or no effort.

Hes having his cake and eating it and you are left hanging on,waiting,wondering-on hold.

Think about it.

[Asker]

No I used to be like that months ago, remember? Iike 5 months ago and I ignored him for the longest after all that and then I would respond on some text just hi and stuff and then weeks and weeks would go by and nothing. I've moved on even had a Boyfriend after we stopped talking so he's not having anything with me. he is just saying things now that he never shows in his actions and I wish he would cause I still wanna be with him a bit but he comes back out of no where.

[mrsvincenoir]

Well imho yo judge a man by actions not words,so if he's not showing you how he feels with actions....words are easy to say,you know?

[Asker]

Yae but why say it at all if you don't act like you miss me? I don't understand him and I even said that to him and he asked me How does he show it? Like he just has no clue on how to show me but he'll say it like that's enough for him. he just doesn't get it. I want him to just go away and I told him to please stop coming back.

[mrsvincenoir]

Well its just my opinion but if he was that into you you wouldn't have to tell him how to show it-he just would be in his own ways.

If you want him to go away I guess the only thing you can do it ignore him-change numbers,or just don't reply to him.

[Asker]

Thats what I'm thinkin and I accepted that and I been moved on for months, but why would he text me that he went out with a new girl but all he could think about was me when he was with her and he misses me? I even asked him what his reason for that was on the phone and he said he just wanted to let me know. ?? So confused in why he is wanting me to know that and expect me to totally understand that he would think of me while with another woman. I can't understand that if he doesn't act like it

[mrsvincenoir]

Well,what does it matter if they are just words not actions.

[Asker]

It matters. Its like talking that talk but not walkin the walk. Actions speak louder than words.

[mrsvincenoir]

Yeah,thts my point-your not seeing no actions so his words don't mean a lot do they.doesnt matter why he says it,hes not showing it,so I wouldn't waste my time wondering beause they are just words.

[Asker]

Your right, and I promise myself even more now if I ever hear from him again, I will never reply or respond to him ever again. If he wants me, he is gonna have to show it well.

[ryanontario]

guys come back for different reasons , my guess is he is not over you yet . he could get over you soon if you don't make return contact with him as he seems to be dating other girls anyways and moving on just not yet over you . you need to maybe make it clear to him that the 2 of you are over if your not interested in dating him anymore .

[Asker]

I did make that very clear to him a long time ago. I mean it was my idea to end it because I was feeling for him and wanted to go further but he said he doesn't want that for a while. I showed more effort in wanting to be with him than he ever did. I poured out how I felt about him but he wouldn't really do the same cause I felt he just didn't feel the same way so I had to quit torturing myself by hoping he would change. And as many times as we broke it off then got back together, he would always

[Asker]

Easily let me go, no fight to keep me. So all that made me realize that "This man don't want me" obviously if he just lets me go. So finally I truly let him go months ago and he comes back saying something like that. It confusses me.