Why doesn't my ex want me out of his life?

We dated on and off for a year, and it ended for the third time about the end of January (each time he broke up with me). He was my first boyfriend, pretty much my first everything. This time, he broke up with me because he felt like he loved me more than I loved him, because I didn't show him enough affection. I've been very hurt, and from the beginning I've told him being friends probably wouldn't be the best idea, because I do have some anger towards him, and tend to start arguments because I am so hurt. The other two times we broke up, we've been able to stay friends with no problems (we also have hooked up during our breakups, except for this one cause I haven't seen him).

He says he doesn't want me out of his life, because he stills loves me and cares about me, and that I'm a big part of his life. And last night (after an entire day of arguing and discussing our past relationship and breakup, through text) I told him yet again that being friends might not be such a good thing, but he still said that "Not one single part of him wants me out of his life."

Why exactly is this? What kind of feelings do you think he has towards me now?

He's told me I was the girl he's ever loved the most, and we were each others' longest relationship. I lost my virginity to him. And he once admitted he was in love with me, and that I was everything, but a few weeks later it was over. I'm so confused about everything.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Seems like he didn't want to break up in the first place or else he'd be more open to the idea of not being friends. I mean like he probably thought it would be best if he broke up with you but had to fight his instincts you know? And if he broke up with you because he doesn't think you love him as much as he loved you is there any chance he's right? But then again if your on here asking this you probably have feelings for the guy. You say your hurt and so you don't think being friends is a good idea, but he doesn't want to lose you that's why he wants to still be friends. He might regret that he broke up with you, or maybe wishes you cared more. If you want it to be over you should just tell him you can't be friends anymore, it will hurt but there's no shame in that and it may be best in the long run. It sounds like he probably still has feelings for you but is unsure about them and unsure about your feelings. So if you want it to work out with him you should let him know how much you care. Fact is though if you put yourself out there like that you can get hurt, but sometimes in order to fly you have to risk falling if that makes sense.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's not uncommon for people to want to stay in touch with their previous partners, you did have feelings for each other after all.

    He wants to keep you as a friend, the feelings of him "still loving you" is because everybody, to some degree, is sentimental. The thing to understand here is that the love which was once romantic is now platonic; he's not in love with you, but he still loves you.

    He was your first boyfriend so lesson to be learnt here is to not get back with somebody after you've both declared it's over. It makes things more difficult. Should he suggest getting back together, tell him no. No matter how much you want to, tell him no if you want to stop being confused.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think he trully does care for you and probably still does have feelings for you. If you feel the same way and might want to work things out possibly then maybe being his friend can lead to a relationship with him again if you willing. He might even have possible regrets with the whole breakup. The choice is yours... to still have him in your life and maybe work things out or let him go completely and leave the relationship in the past and move on. It sounds like you still care enough about him and what you guys had to post this. So maybe in time if feelings are still mutual you can work things out with him.

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