Why I’m an 18 yo girl and have never dated?

[Anonymous]

I’m 18. I’ve never had my first kiss, nor “real” dating with any guy.

You could say I’m ugly, but that’s not the case. I get lots of compliments from girls, I fit the “universal” beauty (long blonde hair, fit body, slim, blue eyes, symmetrical face...) and I literally match with the hottest dudes on Tinder.

In clubs, many guys approach me. But they only want sex.

I’m social, I smile a lot, very outgoing and talk a lot. I have a good circle of girl friends around me.

I just feel like I never had the “opportunity” to meet many guys?

I’m getting worried as I’m 18 already. Everyone is shocked when they hear I haven’t got a boyfriend.

[Matthew2222]

I think you are on to something because you used quotes in "'universal' beauty". That is just it, you are what the media tells guys to want, not what they actually want. That is why you are not getting interest from guys that want a long term relationship, they want "real" girls. The chaff you are getting on tinder want sex, not real relationships with real women. Dating in this age is bad, that is not up for debate. In terms of finding guys more interested in real relationships you need to up your authenticity and look elsewhere than tinder.

[Asker]

I’m way more than my looks. Guys don’t just try to get to know me deeper in any ways. And I don’t feel like changing my looks just to “not look universally beautiful”. I like how i look, but I am a “real” girl too.

[Matthew2222]

Obviously everyone is more than their looks. But our physical appearances are the first thing others see, the impression you make with your appearance is primary and lasting. I am not suggesting you "change your looks", but rather try and project authenticity to attract better quality guys. There are guys that want real relationships, but you will not find them on tinder. You say you are a real girl and I take that at face value, but you need to signal that to guys if you want their attention. Do you do any extra-curricular activities where you can meet guys?

[Asker]

Yeah I understand what you mean. It’s just hard to reflect authenticity just by my looks. I try to smile, look easily approachable and so on. But I also want a guy of a certain type - I can just imagine how he talks, asks me out and so on. Kind of an “alpha male”.
And unfortunately no I don’t have any extra activities as I’m focusing on school still. So I can’t really exactly meet guys.

[Matthew2222]

Alpha male means different things to different people, what you are describing is probably what I would call a "gentlemen". "Alpha male" makes me think of aggressive frat boys that spend more time at the gym and the bar than in class. One thing you can do to show some authenticity is by wearing authentic style, hoodies, sweats, etc. You might look for an extra-curricular in the future, or just spend lots of time at the Starbucks.

[melnc]

Just because you're single, that doesn't mean you're not good enough. The right moment hasn't come yet. Live by your own standard, not measure up to someone else’s standards.

[AnnieQuestion]

Ok, people will probably write you a lot about standards being too high and other crap. It has nothing to do with your standrads, don't lower them now. You are young and you want to experience good stuff, not just something that will help you to tick dating off the list because peopke around you are doing it. It's just timing. Be patient, your first kiss will happen.

[Asker]

Thank you. This helped.

[msss98]

U will find someone, but maybe u should start going on dates with people, no one is gona come begging at your feet for you to date them, and if they do they are probably not worth dating

[Asker]

I understand what you mean. But you see, those “dates” I’m getting invited to are just Netflix and chill or “come over” -stuff. Never had a guy ask me out normally.

[Mindwipe]

You don't seem to have esteem issues and are attractive and you know it. Usually a very high standard comes along with this type of thinking and that's fine. Just be aware that the calibur of man that you're looking for is rare and it will likely be a high value target. You'll probably have to compete with other women for his attention.

[Asker]

Yeah I understand. I just don’t want to settle for less. I want to have an attractive guy, who values me for more than just my looks.

[MissKittyz]

I got my first boyfriend and kiss at 19. It isn't a big deal. 18 is still a young age so no need to rush. Just keep going to parties and meeting new people. If you go to college, you'll meet people there as well.

[normalice]

Same reason so many 18 year old guys have never had sex - what they want you to want isn't what you want. And vice versa. You will spend the next 4 years or so navigating to a compromise.

[Asker]

I know this. That’s why I try to look for guys in their 20s. But it’s still the same. Maybe I just haven’t met them yet.

[Shiver]

You got time, so take it and find someone you can date properly. Might take a while, but it'll probably be worth it.

[cicchis0]

You have a couple of decades before you should consider starting to worry.

[ChloeStarlight]

Don’t feel bad, I’m 22 and never had a boyfriend or my first kiss

[Anonymous]

Don't believe Tinder. The hottest guys match with anyone. They swipe indiscriminately.

18 is young. Worry when you're 24 in the same boat.

[Trojan35]

Thats good, I got friends who are about 23-24 and they couldn't even touch a girl's hand lmao.

[Clarke498]

I'm in the same boat, but i don't stress. It's gonna happen when it happens.