I left my husband two years ago and now I want him back but isn't returning my phone calls or texts. why?

Question

We were both at fault but I could not get passed the pain and forgive. Now I have changed for the better and I love him more than ever after being together for 16 years. I know we could make it work. I don't believe he doesn't love me anymore even though he says he is happy. I know him better than he knows himself.it seems on a lot of things. He told me the first time he left me that he would have been nice being chased. Now I am doing

that and he is not responding. Could he be just trying to make me suffer since I left this time? What is he thinking? Do I have a chance and will he just contact me on his own terms to not feel desperate? Is there something I can say or do to get him to come back?

smokeadmiral · Accepted Answer

Two years is a long time to be apart from someone after a relationship. In reading I see you say that you know him better than he knows himself. That may have been true when you were together and married, however people do change and people do grow. Sometimes we grown (speaking from experience) to realize that even though we are mad like crazy in love with someone we know that person isn't what's best for us. It's possible to be with someone that you love and "like" and care about a lot but know that they're just not what you need for a relationship so you move forward. Look you've been apart 2 years...I'm guessing here that he's dated and seen or seeing someone other than you. The fact that you think he's just making you suffer by not calling you shows a bit of arrogance on your part. I see you seeing it that no matter how long its been that he should just jump at the chance to talk to you and get back to you. Granted 16 years is a long time, but 2 years is long too and you both broke the relationship off for a reason. Two years is a long time for someone to find someone else or decide on how to move forward in life. Maybe try sending him a letter explaining your feelings and what you want from him. He's most certainly shy about you two right now with reason. Not passing blame here but I am pointing out that your popping back into his life and more than likely bringing about some emotions for him that may not be 100% great. Good luck.

eldamien · Accepted Answer

You may think you were "both at fault" but I can almost gaurantee that he thinks "you were at fault" especially since you say it's you that's "changed for the better". I've got to give you a little tough love here.

If he says he's happy and doesn't love you anymore, believe him. Stop living in a fantasy world. There's no possible way you "know him better than he knows himself". That's a trite cliche that people just say without thinking about it. Really think about that for a second - you've known him for however long, 16 years. He's known himself HIS WHOLE LIFE. Including the two years you've been apart. Stop talking in fantasy and rhetoric and grow up.

"What is he thinking?" He's telling you exactly what he's thinking. He's happy without you. Get over your self-importance and realize that it's time to move on, espescially in the age range that you listed. You had a good relationship, don't tarnish the memory of that relationship by sliding into obsessive and stalkerish behavior to try and "win him back". Move on.

Skyler123 · Accepted Answer

Sorry to sound mean, but WHY would you wait TWO years to try and get back with your ex husband? It's not until something valuable is truly lost and gone for good that people want it back. Well you didn't treasure and value him when you two were together. You knew the consequences of your actions...you knew this could possibly happen and end up losing him forever. But at that time you were fine with the prospects of losing him. Why the sudden change of heart now? You should have tried this long ago, now that so much time has gone by you have lost whatever chance you did have of gaining him back. Leave him alone and move on with your life. Just suck it up and live with the decisions you have made. That is all you can do. You can just learn from this experience and become an even better person for your next boyfriend/husband.

Castan · Accepted Answer

Guys get hurt pretty bad too. And then they also get bummed out. Ego might make him act this way too. If he is not returning any of your phone calls, he might not be over all the hurt yet, but is tryiing to get everything behind him maybe? Fourteen years is a long time, also a long time to just throw away. If it was his fault, then maybe he is trying to get the whole marriage out of his head. If you just decided you needed something better...Then I don't think he wants to be second comeback prize.

SuperCurious · Accepted Answer

Key words, You left him, I'm pretty sure that kills all trust he had for you and he was probably really hurt but got over you and moved on. He probably doesn't wanna go back to you, Have you ever heard the saying, once you touch a burning stove you never will again, well your the burning stove

AviatorTom · Answer

It's been two tears. He is most probably over you and has moved on. You want him back? Maybe he doesn't want you.

FLORA4443432333 · Answer

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Shannon78587 · Answer

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smokeadmiral · Answer

I'm not trying to bust your ass here, but it does seem that you still have some bitterness and resentment from the past. Maybe he's moved on and you're just wanting to get back with him to fix him. Is that why you "want" him back? or have you gotten a huge pay increase so you no longer have to worry about spending? Look I've been in those relationships where there's someone giving all the time and someone taking all the time. They're toxic! Think abou that long and hard before you jump back with him...if he does call you.

kriskiss · Answer

well the fact that you left him and you were married is not a good sign. I'm sure he's spiteful. depends on the reason. if you left him  because you were having an affair then I would not talk to you again personally. but if it was just  because the spark was gone or he was abusive or whatever...then he should respond to you. it all depends. but so that's that.

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Soon103 · Answer

I think ex's or an ex for a reason. Now leave the past in the past. He moved on and so should you. Sometimes when you two can solve all the problem that lead to the down fall of your marriage; The pains of the past has been so great that the marriage has to end. When you realize that the better.

DocClassic · Answer

you could start by not tricking yourself into thinking you know him better than he does.  that's just not true, I promise. girls can think they are so damn smart and all guys are just entirely oblivious, but he knows himself better than everyone on the planet combined

ketfoen · Answer

He's not trying to hurt you, just ignoring you which is just hurtful for you. After 2 years, most people including your ex has just moved on with his life. You should also, move past that life, because it's not who you are anymore. If you keep pursuing your ex you could be considered a psycho stalking ex and he might get a restraining order against you in the long run.

Anonymous · Answer

first of all why did you break up, and secondly it's been two years ot two days, I wouldn't be shocked if he was in love right now, planning a future. Sorry chick but you have to think of the worst before assuming the best

oxidizer235 · Answer

you left him and you're wondering why he's not beating down your door... I wonder why... hmmmm... he has probably moved on.

christian2724 · Answer

Perhaps it really is over.  Maybe he met someone else.

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Anonymous · Answer

maybe he moved on and very happy with your so-called rebound girl! l guess you should let him in peace...

I left my husband two years ago and now I want him back but isn't returning my phone calls or texts. why?

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Why does my husband ex want him back now?

I left my husband two years ago and now I want him back but isn't returning my phone calls or texts. why?

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