Why does it seem in breakups girls don’t give a reason to their partner as to why they are breaking up but get upset when their partner asks why?

[Anonymous]

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Fortunately I've always found it easier to be honest with my exes when breaking up with them. And it's been obvious why to both parties at the time - the first cheated on me, the second lied about having his immigration completed and tried to immigrate illegally.

The first one knew he fucked up and we didn't really have a need to have a detailed discussion as to why we were breaking up. It was a mutual understanding and as amicable as we could make it considering what he had done.

The second one I didn't even get a chance to fully explain myself or my reasoning. But he knew why - he even said it himself at the end. He wasn't able to do things he needed to do for himself (clean his place, take care of his body and mental health, stop spending his time on mobile gatcha games versus work, etc), and he knew that was why he failed.

But there's still a lot more he failed at I could have listed. There was just no need for me to pile on more. He has depression, too, so I didn't want to make it any worse. I'm sure as he grows into a more functioning adult (if he ever moves back out of his mother's house, tbh), he'll learn the other lessons he needs to.

I don't like piling on to people already down, and every break up I've had pulls both people down in a way. It sucks.

If the other party checks out or gets overly emotional and clearly can't handle more, I won't say it all. I'll say what I have to, which may only be part of the problem, and then if I feel any more would do more harm than good, I'll stop.

Maybe the lesson needs to be learned more than once, but I'm not the teacher.

[Anonymous]

I worry about hurting the person’s feelings. I wouldn’t get mad if someone asks, but I also wouldn’t give the information away unless they ask me. And even then, I wouldn’t say the worst parts.


I’ve never had a serious relationship though. I didn’t start dating until really late, so it’s just been people I’ve been on a few dates with. And I’m really picky. When I cut things off it’s usually because I think our personalities aren’t compatible. It’s not that they did anything specific, at least to me. So I don’t want to insult them and say what it is that I didn’t like.

[Blueeyes81]

It makes them feel like a bad person having to give a reason. Also who wants to see the hurt on someones face when you tell them they are inadequate in some way. Personally if you can't be grownup enough to do that then you aren't grownup enough for a relationship.

[Honesttguy]

To ask why means you lacked awareness that there was problem wich only pisses people off even more. And only verify even more that its the right thing to break up.

[Asker]

If there’s lack of communication as there are in a near majority of cases then one can’t help but ask why

[Kkstarzz96]

i actually would say it's the other way around. guys like to move forward to cope, too much back and forth about the past will lead you no where but stuck in an emotional rut. girls like to ruminate because they can't accept its simply incompatibility or lack of maturity as to why a relationship has to stop. guys know they can love a girl for years, and she may never think of him in that way, even though he was always there for her. girls think if I just... or he just... then they can get their way with a guy, and maybe sexually, but not emotionally. if he either likes you or he doesn't, and only likes your ass. guys are too simple to ask for further explanation, so I'm confused to your question.

[Asker]

Girls nowadays will they’ll the guy they are dating very broad stroak terms such as “I’ve just been unhappy for x amount of time”, “I just am”, and “it just is” when they break up and when the guys asks to explain that they get upset and worked up over that

[Kkstarzz96]

I could only think that she has told the guy multiple times what she wanted and he ignored her until she set her foot down and said okay it's over and now he's curious what was the reason. usually though, in my case, guys intentionally start to ignore you and detach from you as woman, so you can do the sticky messy stuff of being the one who breaks up with the other. he been knew for a while that he is over you and your shit, and he's not gonna put up with it, basically saying break up with me I don't care. so if a guy was that clueless, and he is now wondering what happened he thought everything is fine, then she's gonna think omg you're just stupid, and not want to waste her breath anymore. I can bet you she told the guy what the problem was already dozens of times, for her to react that way.

[SkyCastle90]

A majority of people in general struggle with accountability, women especially. No one wants to be the bad guy. The least amount of information given creates the illusion of less guilt; in the end it's not about you, but about her feelings/wants/needs.

[amber0x]

I always give a reason because if anyone ever broke up with me, I'd want to know why. I don't always go into specific details though because sometimes doing so unnecessarily hurts the other person's feelings or the other person is just asking for details so that they can refute your reasoning for the breakup...

[dustybiker]

Aside cheating people always know why. It usually hasn’t been working for a while. They’ve probably mentioned it many times already. When a person reaches the point of not answering means they are done repeating it.

[Smashingdoozy]

There's not always a reason it's just not feeling right. Also when you do give a reason often they try to fix it or say they will fix it. Try convince you to stay etc. It's just easier to leave it be

[Asker]

Every relationship has down moments but just because of one bad day years of a relationship will just be thrown out over a feeling

[Smashingdoozy]

Considering the very basis of a relationship is feelings yeah. If you're not into someone anymore then it's not going to work.

[TacosRAwesome]

I always try to give a reason but if they don't accept the reason I give them then, there's nothing I can do.

[WhitneySnow]

Agree 100% with @kkstarzz96 and @Smashingdoozy

[Niciole]

lack of communication

[Asker]

So why don’t they communicate about it?

[Anonymous]

they are crazy women!