Ex wants to have a coffee with me?

[Anonymous]

He dumped me, frustrated by our relationship, and after 2 months, wants to have a coffee or a drink, I asked his intentions and he says he wants to catch up , maybe to laugh.

I still love him but he broke my heart, and I don't see any regrets , any sign he understood the pain he has inflicted me , and if he was interested in reconnecting, I don't see any commitment or willing or desperation of telling me he still loves me.

I know he loves me, but if he doesn't work fo it, I will be dumped again, guys, what can I do to soften his heart without risking myself, I am very happy with my life, and this issue really sinks my heart

[brkadv]

2 months is probably too soon for you to be stable about things and then see him and just be OK with whatever happens. And from how you talk about it that seems clear. If he just wants to hang out and have fun and has no intention of seriously restarting the relationship, I don't know that it sounds like a great idea for you. You say you are happy in your life and probably you are still recovering. And interrupting that recovery with this meeting could set you back...and for what benefit? It really doesn't sound like a good idea.

If he was apologizing and really sincerely saw the hurt he caused and seemed concerned about it and wanted to work things out, perhaps it would be worth a chance. But to me it's like going back into playing a pickup game of sports when your wound is still unhealed. It's not worth it. It may be worth coming back early from an injury for a championship game. But not just for a game just for fun. Wait until a few more months when you are healed more and then maybe you can handle contact with him better. That's my view.

[Asker]

Thank you brkadv ,you are a good person.

[brkadv]

Thanks and you're welcome

[aldente1]

Dump him, and don't waste your time. From your question, you are trying to relive your previous relationship with him so you can get some closure over your hurt, but that ended so let go. If you want to really give this a second chance then meet him with an open mind and leave alone all the old scars, but you will find a way better guy who isn't so fickle. Don't get yourself into a cycle of rejection, then shame and guilt, because that is what you are setting yourself up for emotionally. Enjoy the accoutrements of being single and dating. you are in control of your own life, not his. YOU ARE VALUABLE.

[Asker]

Thank you, aldente1 for your words, you are right, we all deserve a path of love , real and pure love without unnecessary pain. I though he would come back with an apology, but he thinks its OK to just apear and laugh. I just don't get it. Our hearts should be treated much more gently. I am happy I asked about his intentions without going to see him right away. You are right, how could I l still love someone that has not the guts to face his past actions.

[Aiyesha]

first if your nt ready to see him without feelings coming back maybe its not the best thing and don't be shy to tell him that to so he understands you still have feelings for him and no things can't work out and need time apart to deal with it more so catching up is not something you can do right now.

with this maybe the fact you still love him my soften the heart and also the fact of the idea he can't be in your life right now may make him realize he needs you too

[Asker]

Alyesha I am using this time as to understand the deep meaning of self esteem and love for ourselves,we are good people, lost at this world, sometimes blind to the essential things. You, responding me in such a gente way, to a complete stranger, makes me stronger, makes me have faith that we are all connected, and that yes, love will come back to me, I don't know if with this man I couldn't stop loving , or with another person. Thank you, and I hope for you the best.

[Aiyesha]

your welome we are in here in some ways as to help each other despite being strangers and even willing to without wanting anything in return. we just all hope that our words and thoughts will help one another