My ex-girlfriend has agreed to meet for coffee?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone - So, we have been on break/broken up for almost 3 months now with very limited contact. Maybe twice in the last 2 months we texted each other - one she initiated, the other was me..I have been giving her the space and time she has asked for...I'm 26 and she is 20, yes I know, very young but I'm in absolute love with this girl...So it has been about a month since we had any communication so I decided to text her just saying hi, hope all is well..after writing back I asked, we should meet up and grab coffee or something to catch up...you wrote back Yes, We def should and that she is free next week...My question is, is that good or bad for me? How should I act? I will NOT bring up anything about the break, or if she's seeing someone, or anything like that, but what are things to stay away from saying? Any help is appreciated :)

[MrXYZI]

I don't know if your just looking for reassurance or not, but you've pretty much answered your own questions.

"Is that good or bad for me?"

What does that mean, you think she's going to take time out of her schedule to come tell you how much of an idiot you are for even requesting a date in the first place. Or how much she hates you. Or spill her guts about some guy she's currently seeing. I'm being mean for a reason. Because, no one in the their right mind would except a date to come rant about their life. With that also being said, I think that's something you may want to stare clear from. Ranting on about your life, add that to the list.

To answer that question more nicely, it's a good thing; her coming to see you.

"How should I act?"

You can just be yourself; 'cause as soon as you start pretending your something your not she'll notice. Just be yourself, you claim it's just to catch up, so do just that.

Things to stay away from saying:

The best way not to mess up, is remembering how you got her in the first place. Treat it like your first date again; try to be sweet and tender with her. Everything you can to be her friend at this moment. Make her laugh as much as possible, and it's time to call it a day, just call it a day.

[thetheme]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Don't do it... This is the basic set up for a woman to have her cake and eat it to, in other words (drum roll)... THE FRIEND ZONE! She has been probably banging some other guy or guys and wants to keep you hanging on a string because you are the type of nice guy she wants to marry in the future, but now she just wants men to have fun with, go crazy with, and have sex with, and most of all tell you all about it... Going to meet up with her is stroking he ego (this is what women like to do to good men), and it's because she knows that you still love her and she has you wrapped around her finger somewhat. You have to stay away and move on. It's not worth chasing after this girl or any girl.

[chromosomevenus]

I don't know how long you were dating her, but just talk about the same things you always did. I don't think the age thing is a big deal unless one of you makes it a big deal. Overall just be normal. Relax and try to approach the situation in a friendly manner. Anytime I met with ex boyfriends there was always sex and really nothing else. If this is something you want to avoid then keep that in mind going into the situation. Good luck, hopefully this meeting will bring you closure or back together.

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply - your input is very much appreciated. I am 27 she's 20, age was NEVER an issue with us, we loved each other very very much. We were dating for almost two years, so when she was 18. From the beginning, she always said, Hey, I may need a break down the roaad because I'm so young, but she never said she was sure...well, here wer are...she just needs time to be alone, be herself, needs space and I guess see if I'm the one for her

[chromosomevenus]

A friend of mine was with her boyfriend for five years and she took about five months off because it was getting to the point where things would move forward and she wanted to make sure she wasn't jumping the gun. She was happy she took the time away because it made her realize that he was really the one for her. They have been married three years now and are trying to have a baby. Without those months away she may have ended it without thinking. You are sweet to be so understanding.

[Asker]

What were their reasons for breaking? Similar? I mean, I can see where she's coming from because she is very young so how does she know I am the one for her...Im just hoping with a few months or however long it takes she will realize and hopefully not find someone new. I'm just worried she's not doing this to because she fell out of love or she really just doesn't want to be with me anymore.but for her to say this from the beginning is what is making me believe she's doing this for the right reasons

[chromosomevenus]

My friend wanted a break because she didn't want to get married and make a mistake. She dated other guys, lived by herself and spent more time with friends. She realized after a time that he was an integral part of her life and she didn't want to be without him again.

[Asker]

Well all I can do is hope that it works out the way it worked out for your friend. Just sucks because people always say, breaks never work, there is no change to get back together with her, give up, move on...i mean, I'm not holding back, I'm still going to do me and live my life, I just hope it ends with her in it...and it doesn't take long

[chromosomevenus]

Good luck and remember stay relaxed.

[Reeses-pieces777]

It's good to reflect on what went wrong and what problems there were, try to resolve them or find a solution to them if you guys are planning to get back together. getting coffee together is always a good thing. Don't be too nervous, dres well, don't bring up the break for sure, focus on positives. It's always nice to be at least friends with ex's. :) wish you luck.

[LostXAngeL]

Talk normal to her like she is just a friend. Don't pry or put yourself out there. This could be her reaching out but don't go into this coffee time with any expectations! This could either be a future of you two getting back together or closure. Either way you two are talking at least!

[ArizonaRX]

"I'm in absolute love with this girl"

That's the issue that I see with catching up with her for a cup of coffee. What's your real intention for this cup of coffee? Just to see her again and may-be see if you can get back together? You've mentioned things you absolutely won't say, but deep down aren't they things you are really wondering about? Honestly?

In your mind, this might seem like a good idea, and it might turn out great... but you need to think about what you really want to get from this before you go through with it.

[Elcristoph]

I personally say no... if you broke up that's becouse you don't work together, you only feel like you love her becouse you broke up. trust me this feeling does fade and you can then meet new people... I'm sorry to be so negative but I wouldn't get my hopes up..

[Xnight2remeber]

no act her straight up don't be a jerk about it but ask wants going on some girls can be stupid but just make sure she answer ur questions or you will be left wondering

[muhammadnoman01]

presnt her sum thing if you really love

forget abt the past and you take an innitiative to re union

old pal never changes, they just get bored

Best of luck

[inquizitor911]

This is a great opportunity for you! Just relax, and be yourself. ^__^

[Psyche_gurl]

I say this is her reaching out to you. It may lead to a reunion, who knows. :D